So last night I was watching the Westminster Dog Show with my human—booooor-ing! And by "watching" I mean I looked out the window with my back to the TV, silently pleading for someone to put me out of my misery. I guess congratulations to Hickory, the Scottish deerhound who won, are in order (if you can call gleefully letting horribly-dressed humans drag you around, poke, and prod you a victory). My vote would have been for Adam, the smooth fox terrier, as my aesthetic leans toward tiny, agile, and sleek (my long-haired brethren may have been pulling for the Pekingese, but their taste is questionable and typically a bit precious).
Anyway, to add insult to injury, I was poking around on brides.com—my human is the site's executive editor—and was visually assaulted by Stylish Accessories for Dogs. I was about to high-five my human on what was obviously a humor piece, but she calmly explained that many humans include their dogs in their wedding festivities but make them wear unfortunate outfits. The goal of the story, she said, was to show how to dress canines in a charming, photogenic manner.
"Well, where're the cats?" I asked. "Did you do a cat story too?" I mean, talk about charming and photogenic! But this is where things get ugly. I was told that you rarely see cats in weddings because apparently we're "too unruly," "too skittish," and "too unpredictable" to obediently walk down the aisle and pose for photos. You're not going to see me with a ring pillow attached to my back any time soon (for reasons that actually have very little to do with my social graces), but brides.com, I genuinely object to your exclusion of felines! And I implore any human reading this to send us photos of cats who have participated in weddings successfully (or just gracefully modeling what you plan to have them wear). Send photos to: firstname.lastname@example.org —Elf Elliott
PS: At Amy's request, I'm supposed to tell you to "check out more wedding style ideas in our gallery."