All your life you've dreamt of a a picture-perfect wedding that looks like it cost a million bucks. And that dream is coming true — at least it is for an engaged friend with a limitless pocketbook.
The average cost of a wedding is $28,202 according to BRIDES 2014 American Wedding Study — not Kim and Kanye's $2.8 million — but serious money. *Pam had $10,000 to spend on her nuptials, approximately $90,000 less than the budget of her childhood friend *Gina. Pam says, "Growing up, whenever I went to Gina's house, it felt like touring a castle — oohing and aahing over everything. Sometimes I felt a smidge of jealousy."
The covetous feeling went off the charts when Gina started discussing details of her upcoming wedding during the duo's monthly brunch date. Pam says, "When she'd start going on and on about the chapel floor being covered in flowers during the ceremony or the $30,000 gown she was eying — I would be greener than my split pea soup."
The temporary solution of digging her fingernails into her palms so deep they drew spots of blood clearly weren't working. Pam admits, "I bit the bullet and leveled with her. I said, 'Look I'm really happy for you but I've got to admit that hearing all the details about the terrific things you can afford to do makes me a bit jealous. Sorry I feel that way, but I guess I'm human.'"
Gina was happy her friend spoke up and vowed to be more sensitive in the future. Gina confided something as well, that, having grown up in a divorced home over the years she had always envied how close Pam was to her mother and father.
Pam, who just celebrated her first anniversary, says, "Our conversation brought us closer and reminded me that there is always something we have that another person wants." She says, "When I got married the chapel wasn't covered in rose petals and my dress only cost $1500 but it was perfect down to every detail — including having both my parents walk me down the aisle."
Sherry Amatenstein, LCSW is a New York City-based marriage therapist and author.
*Names have been changed