Being in someone else's bridal party is both a pleasure and a responsibility. When you consider which of your closest relatives and friends to include as bridesmaids and groomsmen, think about your expectations and how much you are likely to depend on your attendants — not just at the wedding but throughout the planning and preparation. Think of it this way: Just because Betty is your best friend and confidante doesn't mean she's the gal you want to count on to wrangle all of your elderly guests at important events. This doesn't mean you have to exclude her! Simply remember what matters most from attendants so that you can gently nudge her toward the things that are important. In that light, consider these three fundamental traits for selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen:
Reliability. An attendant should be a person you can count on to stay in touch in the weeks and months preceding the wedding, to listen to instructions, to follow up on requests without being reminded, and to show up on time and ready for all events.
Consideration. Considerate attendants may offer suggestions but will understand that they aren't in charge. They will look for opportunities to be helpful but won't add to the bridal couple's worries with special demands or needless criticism.
Courtesy. In a sense, attendants are ambassadors for the bridal couple and their families. At pre-wedding events and during the wedding reception, they will mix and mingle with guests, make introductions, look out for people with special needs, and behave appropriately at all times.