When you get engaged and ask all your besties to be bridesmaids, you probably don't give a whole lot of thought as to how well they all get along. Why? Because in your newly-engaged bliss, it never occurs to you that the women who proclaim to love you, can't suck it up and behave like polite adults for a few days together.
Unfortunately, most often this is not the case and women can be catty at times. Weddings can bring out the worst in the girls, especially if four out of five of the ladies in your wedding party are old friends and one doesn't really know the others. It's even worse when your friends have all met but some of them dislike each other. Factor in a few too many glasses of wine at a bridal shower or bachelorette party and suddenly your 'maids have lost all filter. If you're worried about a catty bridal party, here's how to handle the tricky situation.
Don't exclude your loved ones.
You shouldn't exclude someone you love from your wedding party just because somebody else doesn't like her, that's just wrong. You should instead think about the combination of people you're putting together, especially if you're planning a destination bachelorette weekend or a destination wedding, which creates the possibility of everyone spending a lot more time together than at a regular local bash. If the girls aren't mature enough to behave and get along, it will really hurt the bride's experience. Choose a great place where everyone will have enough space to properly co-exist. It will benefit you in the end.
Is someone a "mean girl?"
Before you choose your wedding party, you have to think about whether any of your bffs are actual "mean girls." They may never direct their ire at you, but if they're generally unfriendly to other women there might be a fly in the ointment in your wedding party.
Tackle issues head on — before the wedding.
If there is an open feud between two of your friends that is summoned at a wedding-related event (even just dress shopping), you need to sit down with them and talk. Explain how much you love them both and that you want them both in the wedding. You have enough stress worrying about the actual smoothness of the event so playing referee with your bridesmaids is not something you're willing to put on your "to do" list. You're an adult getting married. Your wedding party should be able to behave like polite, mature adults too. If not, you may have to re-evaluate your game plan.
Sandy Malone is the owner of Sandy Malone Weddings & Events, a full-service traditional and destination wedding planning company and Do-It-Yourself wedding planning consulting service for DIY brides and grooms based in the Washington, DC area. Sandy is the star of TLC's reality show "Wedding Island," about her destination wedding planning company, Weddings in Vieques. Sandy's book "How to Plan Your Own Destination Wedding: Do-It-Yourself Tips from an Experienced Professional," will be released on March 1st, but is available online for pre-orders now where books are sold.