Every week, we give our readers a glimpse inside the mindset of a guy's brain on weddings with the help of the hilarious and smart editors at The Plunge.
Wedding planning used to be easier. You got a white dress, you hired out the church hall, you chose steak or fish as the entrée, and that was basically that. But now we live in the age of the auteur, and it's expected that the wedding will reflect the taste and aesthetic of the couple in question — their personal vision, if you will. The director of this wedding day epic is you, the bride, which is why you've been driving yourself crazy over what color your bridesmaids should wear, what type of flowers go in the centerpieces and whether the first dance should be to "Wonderful Tonight" or "Baby Got Back." You can safely leave us men out of most of the debates (centerpieces, bridesmaid dresses, etc.) We'd just get in the way, frankly. But there's one decision we would like a say in — the wedding cake.
Look, we don't particularly like shopping for a cake. Most of us do like eating cake, though. Maybe it's all the birthday parties we had as kids, but the majority of us have definite opinions about what constitutes a good cake eating experience.
So what's the best way to shop for cake we'll both appreciate? Well...
Start thinking about the cake early, like four to six months before the wedding. Good bakeries schedule a long time in advance, so they won't be able to help you if you wait until two weeks before the big day.
Decide which company you want to use before bringing us into the process. Maybe give us two or three options, to make us feel important.
Take us with you when you go to taste the different options. This will inevitably involve trying lots of cake, which will leave us stuffed and docile. (Though we might have to take a nap.)
This is probably where our attention will start to wane. Unless your man is a foodie, he won't care a great deal whether the flowers on the cake are fresh-cut or sugar-spun. Our advice is this: work on the design yourself, and check in with us now and then. We'll probably just grunt encouragingly, then leave you to it.
See More: The 50 Most Beautiful Wedding Cakes
Plan Your Cake Game Carefully
The cutting of the cake ceremony has come to include an unfortunate practice: the bride and groom shoving their pieces into each other's face. Make sure you and your man are on the same page about this before the ceremony. If there's a kisser full of vanilla frosting heading your way, you'll want to know about it.
Even better, agree to skip this ridiculous tradition. While it makes for some entertainingly aggressive viral videos, it also wastes two perfectly good pieces of cake. This isn't something you picked up at your supermarket bakery counter. It's a really expensive piece of confectionary art. If your man insists on it, at least remind him how much it costs. He should know how much dough he's throwing away.