He wants to have a big, over-the-top wedding with everybody and their brother in attendance. You, on the other hand, would be perfectly content with eloping. So what do you do when your numbers don't exactly line up? You learn to compromise because that's what marriage is all about, after all. Whether you're worlds apart in terms of guest count or fighting over an extra 50 heads, here's how to keep the peace in your relationship and ensure you both get your happily ever after.
1. Create two different guest lists.
Sounds strange, we know, but according to Nicole Matthews, founder of The Henley Company, in England it's not at all uncommon to have a guest list for the ceremony and a separate one for the reception. "This keeps the ceremony or blessing a more intimate affair with just family and very close friends, whereas the reception becomes the larger celebration," she says. For one part introverted, one part extroverted couples, we couldn't think of a better solution.
2. Do both.
Well, sort of. If budget is a big concern (i.e. you can't afford to have the wedding of your dreams based on his dream guest list), consider having a glam smaller wedding and private reception on one date and a casual larger celebration on another, suggests Matthews. Work out the details of each event, including the guest count and financials, far in advance — that way one person doesn't end up getting gypped.
3. Have a destination wedding.
When in doubt, pack your bags and say, "I do" abroad! While this solution will realistically only work for some couples, it's a viable one nonetheless. For instance, say his parents won't get off his back about inviting a bunch of their friends and co-workers, or you'd feel awful leaving certain extended family members off the list and including others. In this scenario, a destination wedding (the further away, the better) might solve some of your woes. You can still invite everyone, yet the odds of those showing up that you aren't really close to are much lower. Whatever you do though, please make sure you have the budget to accommodate everyone, you know, just in case.