Just because your idea of the perfect bachelorette party means three nights at a yoga retreat, drinking kale juice, and getting #ModelFit, doesn’t mean your groom (and his bachelor party) should be denied one weekend of debauchery. Many grooms struggle with bachelor party ethics, so we asked Jeff Wilser, founding editor of The Plunge — a site where guys can go for the full rundown on all things involving grooms — to break down dos and don’ts for how to have an awesome bachelor party without the dramatic aftermath. So whether you’re the type of bride who couldn’t care less what your groom does for his bachelor party or you’re nervous his crazy college roommates will peer pressure him into some shady situations, make him read these bachelor party rules and then sit back and let it happen.
DO Spread it out over a weekend. Even on a shoestring budget, a full weekend will provide more memories — and laughs — than a single night of debauchery.
DON’T Expect your crew to cover all your expenses. Your guy friends are allowed to splurge on your dinners and drinks but they should not be expected to foot the bill for your airfare and lodging. Have some compassion for people’s wallets.
DO Respect the bride’s policy on lap dances. Some think it’s harmless fun; others call it borderline cheating. If she falls into the latter group, that’s her prerogative. (Stay focused on the big picture; this is not a large sacrifice.)
DON’T Post anything on social media between 12 a.m. and 6 a.m., when the party is likely in full swing. Better yet, ask your buddies not to take any pictures beyond the obligatory group shot.
DO Personalize. Hangover-style bachelor parties are no longer your only move. Consider offbeat options like white-water rafting, a minor-league-baseball road trip, a ski weekend, whiskey tasting trails in the Highlands of North Carolina, or a fishing expedition. All of these lead to quality male bonding, and none will require paying off a hooker. Probably.
DON’T Let your friends hijack the weekend. Don’t hesitate to put your foot down if your guys want a crazy party, but you’d rather take it easy, or you don’t drink and all your friends want to do is bar crawl all weekend long. They’re your friends, after all. They should respect your wishes and know that the weekend will be fun no matter how hard the level of partying.