After a week or more of hot honeymoon sex, you likely never imagined you and your husband could face a sex rut. "But couples should know that it's common to have somewhat of a 'let down' in the months following a wedding," says Debra Herbenick, PhD, associate professor at Indiana University and author of The Coregasm Workout. "There is so much excitement leading up to the big day that it's only natural to feel a little less excited afterward."
Added to that, if you've just moved in together, "there will be some excitement about getting to have sex whenever you want — but some couples also feel some pressure, or they worry they are in a rut if they're not having sex all of the time," Herbenick says.
If you're worried you're in a rut and ready to dig yourself out, here are your next steps:
__Don't put (too much) pressure on yourself. __
"Think all married couples are having sex every day? Think again," Herbenick says, citing a survey she conducted that showed "very few" people have sex four or more times per week — less than 10 percent of married women ages 18 to 24, six percent of married women ages 25 to 29, and just five percent of married women 30 or older.
Schedule a date night.
"But don't make it mundane," warns Herbenick. "Have different kinds of dates — not just dinner and a movie — to keep things interesting. Sometimes have sex first, then go out. Other times go out, then come home."
Try out new positions.
Herbenick suggests checking out online and books resources for fresh ideas you can try between the sheets or out. If you're not worried sex will be routine, you may be inclined to do it more often.
Test out sex toys.
Peruse a few online and book resources "for a primer on vibrators and other kinds of sex toys, how to talk with your partner about them, and how to care for them," Herbenick suggests.
__Be vocal — and honest — about what you like. __
"When you let your spouse know that you're curious about trying something new, it gives him the chance to better please you and to keep things interesting," says Herbenick.