As soon as he slips that ring on your finger, you expect a crash of commentary in the form of well-wishes. But you don't necessarily prepare for the barrage of questions that will inevitably come and annoy you. So get ready: Here are seven super-annoying questions most brides will hear, and the best way to respond to each one.
1. Oh you're getting married? When? I'll put it on my calendar.
According to Amy Nichols, owner of Amy Nichols Special Events and co-founder of The Poppy Group, almost every couple will hear get this question from unassuming friends or coworkers expecting an invitation. "But the reality is, everyone in your life cannot be invited," Nichols says. And because of that, it's best not to indulge the questioner with a direct answer. Instead, Nichols says, consider saying something like, "We haven't completely finalized the plans, but we're thinking it's going to be an intimate affair."
2. How big is your ring?
Call it simple curiosity or seriously green with envy. But regardless of the motive, says Jaclyn Fisher, owner of Philadelphia-based Two Little Birds Planning, you'll like be put on the spot about the size of your rock. "Whether you know the answer or not, it's easy to feel like you and your ring are being judged," she commiserates. Don't guess at the size of your diamond, or plan into a green monster's trap. Fisher says the perfect response is simply, "I love it and think it's the perfect size for me!"
3. Who have you invited?
"There's always one nosy guest who wants to know exactly who's invited and who's RSVP'd," promises Nichols. Why? He or she may want to know if they'll recognize anyone at his or her table, or whether there will be other singles with whom they can mingle. It's usually just curiosity that compels people to ask this question, but it doesn't make it any less annoying. "Kindly appease their curiosity by saying, 'we won't know that information until we've received our final RSVPs, but thank you for asking,'" Nichols suggests.
4. Can I bring a guest, or my kids?
Beyond knowing who made your guest list, a guest or two will want to know if they can bring a plus-one, or whether you're throwing a kid-friendly fete. "But your venue and budget only allow for a certain number of people, and you've planned your guest list accordingly, which is why it's especially annoying when someone asks if they can bring a plus-one or their kids," says Fisher. "Even though you may feel uncomfortable being put on the spot, it's OK to say no. If you feel like you need to give an explanation, let them know that it's due to the budget or venue capacity."
5. Are you planning to lose weight before the big day?
Nichols says what we're all thinking when this silly question is asked: "Assuming that just because you're about to get married that you must start starving yourself or spending your weekends tied to a treadmill is pretty ridiculous," she says. "Your fiance picked you." And that means you don't have to crash diet or give into this line of questioning in the weeks leading up to the big day. Instead, "respond politely with a simple, 'I'm incredibly fortunate to be marrying a man who loves me just the way I am,'" Nichols suggests.
6. Can I sit with [insert name here]?
You want to make your guests happy and comfortable at your wedding. But, "while you want to do everything you can to make your guests content, planning the table assignments is hard enough without taking special requests into account," says Fisher. But that won't stop several guests for making seating assignment requests. "Saying that you'll do you best to accommodate them lets them know that you'll try, but you're not making any promises," Fisher advises.
7. Isn't that expensive?
According to Nichols, "It is absolutely no one's business how much you are spending on your wedding. But that doesn't mean you won't receive questions about the cost of the favors, the peonies, or the gown." Money is usually a very private topic for most people, so this question will probably make you squirm. "Answer in a way that will stop the conversation by saying, 'We've been very lucky to be able to purchase the things we'd like for the wedding day. Thank you for your concern,'" Nichols says.