What could be better than being a bridesmaid in the wedding party for one of your best friends? How about doing so while planning a wedding of your own! Being an engaged bridesmaid means double the fun, but it also means you’ll have a little more to think about as you’re helping your BFF head down the aisle. We asked our experts to fill us in on the things you can’t forget when you’re a bridesmaid in the wedding party and also engaged.
Put Her First
Whether you’re helping her shop for the dress or stuffing envelopes, if the activity in question is related to your friend’s wedding (and not yours!), pretend you aren’t engaged and focus on her. Stay away from the rack of mermaid gowns if she’d rather wear a ball gown, no matter how much a dress might appeal to you for your own wedding, and do your best not to steer the conversation toward what you’re planning. You’re both different people and are having different weddings, so let her have her time—just like you’ll want the focus to be on you when it’s your turn.
Keep Your Opinions on the DL
Again, it’s about her, not you. Whether or not you’re engaged, you want to be supportive and helpful, so don’t let your opinions cloud your judgment. One bride’s bouquet of peonies is another’s crown of white jasmine, so help your friend make her wedding everything she wants it to be—even if you wouldn’t be caught dead with baby’s breath in your own centerpieces.
Don’t Steal the Spotlight
Did you get engaged just before your friend’s wedding? Try not to let your good news overshadow hers. Unless it’s the night before her wedding, give your friend a call to let her know you said “yes”—and to offer to keep it to yourself until after her wedding. That doesn’t mean leaving your engagement ring at home, it just means you won’t be running around babbling about your proposal when you and the bridesmaids should be getting your friend ready to walk down the aisle.
Ask for Referrals!
If you’ve just started planning and your friend is about to be married, don’t be afraid to ask for a referral or recommendation. She may love her caterer, or might have learned the hard way that there’s certain due-diligence that needs to be done. Ask if she wouldn’t mind passing on the names of vendors she loves (or better yet, introducing you!) so you can start wedding planning with some tried-and-true insider information.
See More: 45 Unique Bridesmaid Gift Ideas