When his niece Leigh-Ann became engaged to Clinton, Colin Cowie, who specializes in orchestrating red-carpet events, finally got the chance to plan a celebration for someone close to his heart. Here, Brides magazine Editor in Chief Millie Martini Bratten talks to Cowie about his experience planning this very special wedding.
MMB: Of the hundreds of weddings you have planned, why was this one so special?
CC: Because this was my niece, my godchild that got married, and this was the first wedding I got to design in my family. So, obviously, I was beyond excited to do it for her.
We were on this wonderful estate just outside of Port Elizabeth on the coast of South Africa. Our family had flown in from everywhere. The ceremony took place in what is known as the farmhouse. We draped it all in white fabric to start. A beautiful ceremony in the round—with candles lit for them to exchange their vows. I very proudly walked my niece down the aisle. And afterwards we enjoyed wonderful oysters and big bottles of champagne and cocktails. And as the sun was setting, and the moon rising, the candles came alive, and we made our way down to the dinner tent where two lovely long banquet tables were set. The best part was the heart-felt speeches and toasts. I come from a family that loves to talk. While we were enjoying this wonderful dinner our teams back at the farmhouse had taken off all the white fabric and turned it into Club Sebba because Leann's and Clinton's last name is Sebba, and we made our way up there and cut the wedding cake and danced until 3:30 in the morning.
MMB: And working with someone so close to you, how much input was from her and how much was you?
CC: Well, she wanted a bright colorful wedding in the middle of summer. She wanted a shocking pink and a bright orange. And I said, "It is not pink and orange, it is watermelon and mango." Hence came the color scheme, and we decided we wanted to be seated at long tables.
MMB: Did Clinton participate?
CC: Clinton participated in the music and the bar, and the drinks. And it interesting because most people tell me that the groom is not involved, and I always say if you think the groom is not involved than you should think twice because this is the first big thing that you are planning together so he should be involved. And I have never had a groom that I couldn't get engaged into an event because it is the most exciting event of your life. It is the first major party you ever get to plan, and it is something you should do together.
MMB: What types of challenges does it put for a big party planner like yourself to do something on a real life budget…and in a small town?
CC: Well, first of all I was very, very impressed with what I found at the local vendors. I left South Africa 21 years ago and I never worked there professionally again until I went back. So, I literally found everything that I wanted in terms of the services. But in terms of the linens, and fabrics and runners, and beautifully silk lined napkins—they wanted calligraphied invitations—most of that was created here and sent over there. If you have a look at the wedding, although it looks extremely lavish, it wasn't particularly expensive because we came up with the great ideas that gave it a great look without spending a fortune.
MMB: And the tables are extraordinary, and in our article you talk about ways that they can be accomplished without spending too much.
CC: Our canvas was basically an oatmeal table cloth. And I did these wonderful Schaperelli pink runners that were lined in pink silk for a very glamorous foundation. And the centerpiece was really the sum of all of the parts. So we found three different sizes of wooden boxes being made and they were covered with corresponding colored silk and they were filled each one with their own flower. So, basically we put a plastic cup inside the hollow box, filled one with one color combination, another one with a different color daisy and another one with a different colored rose. So, we were very modern in format. Then, we did balls of roses, which were set between them. Then we filled all of the negative space with lots of glittering votive candles in lime green. It really added a lot of punch to it.
MMB: Well, lighting is one of your signatures. Can you talk a little bit more about that?
CC: You know, we design all these things during the daytime. At nighttime what you don't light falls into the abyss, so it is really about lighting and highlighting and creating overall light. I usually use three different layers of lighting. First we bathed the tent in the pink and then we did some ambient lighting to fill in around it. And I always like to use skin friendly colors in terms of lighting. So it is always pinks, reds, lavenders, soft golds. You don't want to get too orange otherwise people get jaundiced. Whatever you light, you draw attention too, so if you are in a ballroom and you uplight the columns for instance, it brings architectural integrity into the space. Then what you do is you pin spot your flowers so they come alive. And everything falls away. And then of course, you do some lighting on the dance floor and the band, and certain areas like the cake and you pick up those areas so they become highlighted within the space.
MMB: Can you talk about the importance of ritual and the impact of ritual on a wedding?
CC: I love the idea of getting people involved. At Leann's wedding, when the guests arrived they were each given a two-yard piece of silk ribbon and a magic marker, pink or orange of course, to write down their wishes to the bride and groom, and they were all hand tied on the arc that they walked down to at the beginning of the aisle before they walked down. And it didn't cost a dime to do. We took all of those, we tied them together and we presented them to the couple afterwards and said if you ever need to look back at the wishes of your friends here they are all for you as a gift.
When I think about some of the weddings we have done and the local rituals we embraced they have been so amazing. For Jean George's wedding we asked him to bake a loaf of bread using the spices and herbs that best reminded him of his wife and bring that to the ceremony, and we broke this bread apart and it was passed around. We did another wedding where the bride was of Korean descent, so they exchanged geese as a sign of monogamy. We have done weddings where the bride and groom's parents came and washed their hands before they made their vows and before they did the ring ceremony. The idea of writing wishes onto pieces of fabric and tying them above the bride and the groom. These are all things that make so much sense. Or if there is a deceased person who was not able to be with us maybe you mention a name and you ring a bell. The little things that really resonate with the heart and resonate with the soul.
MMB: The pacing of the wedding is a big deal too, can you elaborate on that a little bit?
CC: Flowers are expensive. Food and wine can be expensive. The venue can be expensive. But the most powerful element of any event is timing and it doesn't cost a cent. We've all been to those weddings where the cocktail reception took too long, where you looked at your watch and an hour had gone by, and sat down and another had gone by before you'd seen any sign of food, and all of a sudden you look at your watch and five and a half hours have gone by and there's no sign of a cake, so you go home feeling tired, bored, and maybe just a little bit drunk.
One of the things that is important are to always plan a cocktail reception for 45 minutes maximum, knowing that it's going to take about an hour by the time you've moved people into a space. I like to serve dinner within an hour and a half. I always use a schedule of events, which is a master document, a minute-by-minute plan that showcases from the time that you arrive to the time that you leave, and every single activity that takes place in between and who's responsible for each and when they takes place.
MMB: Let's talk about menus for a second. Wedding menus can be boring or they can be fantastic. Can you talk about Leanne's, and about using local ingredients?
CC: When it comes to food and wine it's very easy to impress ten people at a tasting prepared by a chef. I always like to come up with food that I know will translate well. If I don't have great confidence in something, I always go for what I know I can deliver fail safe and will work very well.
In Leanne's instance, when it came to the food, we served a gazpacho, but instead of just serving the gazpacho in a bowl, we served it in a tall martini glass—a frosted martini glass at each place setting—so we took something ordinary and made it extraordinary by elevating it. I think anything that you serve on a pedestal makes it look more important.
Food is very important to me, and it doesn't come easy because it's very important that you can articulate to a chef what it is that you're looking for. So sometimes it takes two or three tastings. We exchange a few recipes to make sure we get it right, and make sure we complement with the right wines, and that they're served in the right containers. That's why I always insist on doing several tastings. So what's in my mind and my expectation is exactly what we're going to get from the chef. That way we're all happy.
MMB: The after-party lounge—it sounds like such a Hollywood idea. Do you recommend it for anyone's wedding?
CC: It's great. One of the newest trends that I am seeing today and one that I have advocated. When you're done in one space, we move to another space and that is where we party and set up a bar. It doesn't have to cost a fortune. It just has to have music, maybe some sofas or some lower coffee tables. It is a new breath of air, another chapter to the whole day.
MMB: Can you talk to us a little bit about the pros and cons of a destination wedding?
CC: A destination wedding doesn't always have to be in the Bahamas or a private island somewhere. It could be a bed and breakfast or a country inn, but the idea is taking a smaller group of people away where you spend a Friday and Saturday night together. So you have got 72 hours of jam-packed fabulousness to bond, to celebrate, and to enjoy. That is the real reason why we choose these destination weddings, and of course if you don't have a limited budget, people start thinking about getting married in Capri and Hawaii and Aspen and all over the world.
But they come with challenges. You have to be able to find the local resources. You have to be able to find the people that you need to get done what you need to get done. You are dealing with the logistics of traveling across the country. Maybe you are dealing with a difference in time, as well.
And it can be very expensive, but there are certainly ways of getting around it. Perhaps you can have a family member host a welcome on a Friday night. It's always good to use local activities during the day to entertain your guests whether it is hiking in the mountains or visiting a particular museum or skiing on a lake, whatever it might be depending on where you are at.
MMB: So, put yourself in the shoes of the guest and how they are going to spend their time there and how are they going to be entertained while you are off doing other things like getting ready for your wedding.
CC: You bring up a very good point. A well-informed guest is a happy guest. First of all, send out a save-the-date, so that people can take use of frequent flyers, mileage and book tickets. It is good sometimes to set up a web site. Some people want to drive together or share a room together, so they can communicate together. Send an invitation very early. Forget the six weeks before. Send the invitation as soon as you have all the information together and once your guests have RSVP-ed they're coming you can always send them a little confirmation package or a note. It could be something simple or more complex. But you can explain to them what will happen on Friday, how to get there, which airlines get there, a choice of two or three different price ranges to stay at, what you will be required to wear on Friday, what activities will take place on Saturday, what the dress code is for Saturday night. Basically, you keep the guests really informed.
And once they arrive, I also like to put a note, a welcome note, thanking them for traveling this long distance to be with us, and once again reiterating the moments, the dates, the times of the weekend, so the guests really know what to do, when to do it, and how to be dressed.
