Family, Friends & Guests Etiquette
- Question:
- My fiancé just got the invite to his brother's wedding. Instead of putting my name on it, they wrote "and guest." I've been dating my fiancé for over four years, and we've been engaged for a few months, so they know who I am. Even worse, I wasn't included on the rehearsal dinner invitation. Shouldn't I have been invited too? Do we say something, or just leave things as they are?
- Answer:
Whenever someone on your guest list has a serious squeeze, the invitation should be addressed to both people by name, or they should each be sent a separate invitation. (If you're planning to invite single guests with dates, show your hosting skills by calling the singletons and asking whom they'll be bringing.) But this isn't a wedding felony that's been committed, so cut them some slack. It may not even be your fiancee's family's fault, as the bride's family usually does the wedding invites. On the other hand, the rehearsal dinner guest list should definitely have included you. Since your main squeeze's parents are likely hosting the party and, hence, controlling the guest list, your fiancé should talk to them (and to his brother). It may have been an oversight on their part that they would be happy to correct.
- This content originally appeared in Modern Bride magazine.
- How can I uninvite a guest?
- Must shower guests get wedding invites?
- Should I invite a jailed relative?
- I've been snubbed—what do I do?
- How do we handle uninvited guests?
- Must single guests get a date invite?
- Will we get divorced because our parents did?
- How can I seat remarried parents so that everyone feels equally important?
- Can kids be excluded on the invite?
- When should we give our parents their gifts?
- I want a large rehearsal dinner and my fiancé's parents don't. What can I do?
- Is a small reception, big ceremony OK?
- How do we ask the in-laws to pay for the rehearsal dinner?
- Who should propose a wedding toast?
- Can I exclude stepparents from my wedding?
- Should my in-laws have unlimited invites?
- Can I exclude my in-laws' pals?
- Do I have to invite distant relations?
- Should I invite my fiancé's outcast aunt?
- How do we let guests know what our Plan B is?
- Do I have to call my fiancé's mother "mom"?
- How can I prevent my cousin from upstaging me at the wedding?
- How should I handle guests who RSVP with their kids when children weren't invited?
- Can I tell my cousin to stop seeing my married bridesmaid?
- How can we prevent our friends from playing a practical joke on our wedding night?
- Should I invite my fiancé's ex-girlfriend?
- How can I get my grandfather to behave at the wedding?
- Do I have to send invitations to everyone I verbally invited to the wedding?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- How can I make sure that my fiancé's mom will be on time?
- How can I convince my fiancé's sister to accept me as his wife?
- Do I have to invite my cousin's boyfriend?
- Should I change my wedding date so that my grandfather can attend?
- What should I do about forgotten invites?
- Who should initate the get-together between our parents?
- How should we handle complaints about our Friday night wedding?
- Can I ask a friend to help things run smoothly on the wedding day?
- Must I invite my bad dad?
- Do I have to invite my co-workers?
- Should I invite people who can't come?
- How can I divvy up the guest list?
- How do we seat my divorced in-laws?
- Should we invite a recently divorced couple?
- Should we let one couple bring a kid?
- Must I invite my practical-joker cousin?
- Can I invite dad's parents, but not dad?
- How do we announce our two weddings?
- Should I invite my ex-husband to the wedding?
- Does dad have to be my aisle escort?
- When must I send thank-you notes?
- How should I handle a forgotten thank-you?
- Should we ditch a nervous toast-giver?
- Do I have to invite my five co-workers?
- How can I get his mother to back off?
- Should I allow one person to bring a guest?
- Should I plan extra activities for out-of-town guests?
- How do you prioritize your wedding guest list?
- Can we ask our guests to give us cash gifts?
- Which side of the aisle do guests sit on at a same-sex union?
