Family, Friends & Guests Etiquette
- Question:
- How do we un-invite someone who assumes she's coming to our wedding?
- Answer:
No wedding would be complete without one assumed invite. You have a couple of options, depending on when this wanna-be guest decided to invite herself. If you just announced your engagement and haven't made any decisions on budget and guest count yet, warn the assuming friend that your budget will be tight and you might have to opt for a smaller wedding. This way, when the invitations go out and hers is not among the signed, sealed and soon-to-be-delivered, she won't be surprised. If she requested a spot at your gig after hearing about your 300-person celebration, it's a bit trickier. It's hard to tell someone you can't fit one more when you're having a big party. At this point, consider how much this friendship means to you. If you decide to leave her off the guest list, she might feel slighted and it could result in a strained or ended friendship. However, wait until you start receiving your first RSVP cards before you break any news to her. You might get more declines than you expected and decide in the end that you do have an extra spot for her. If that's the case, send out her invite as soon as possible, so that her B-list status won't be apparent.
- This content originally appeared in Modern Bride magazine.
- How can I uninvite a guest?
- Must shower guests get wedding invites?
- Should I invite a jailed relative?
- I've been snubbed—what do I do?
- How do we handle uninvited guests?
- Must single guests get a date invite?
- Will we get divorced because our parents did?
- How can I seat remarried parents so that everyone feels equally important?
- Can kids be excluded on the invite?
- When should we give our parents their gifts?
- I want a large rehearsal dinner and my fiancé's parents don't. What can I do?
- Is a small reception, big ceremony OK?
- How do we ask the in-laws to pay for the rehearsal dinner?
- Who should propose a wedding toast?
- Can I exclude stepparents from my wedding?
- Should my in-laws have unlimited invites?
- Can I exclude my in-laws' pals?
- Do I have to invite distant relations?
- Should I invite my fiancé's outcast aunt?
- How do we let guests know what our Plan B is?
- Do I have to call my fiancé's mother "mom"?
- How can I prevent my cousin from upstaging me at the wedding?
- How should I handle guests who RSVP with their kids when children weren't invited?
- Can I tell my cousin to stop seeing my married bridesmaid?
- How can we prevent our friends from playing a practical joke on our wedding night?
- Should I invite my fiancé's ex-girlfriend?
- How can I get my grandfather to behave at the wedding?
- Do I have to send invitations to everyone I verbally invited to the wedding?
Submit Your Own Etiquette Question
Have an etiquette question you'd like our editors to answer?
- How can I make sure that my fiancé's mom will be on time?
- How can I convince my fiancé's sister to accept me as his wife?
- Do I have to invite my cousin's boyfriend?
- Should I change my wedding date so that my grandfather can attend?
- What should I do about forgotten invites?
- Who should initate the get-together between our parents?
- How should we handle complaints about our Friday night wedding?
- Can I ask a friend to help things run smoothly on the wedding day?
- Must I invite my bad dad?
- Do I have to invite my co-workers?
- Should I invite people who can't come?
- How can I divvy up the guest list?
- How do we seat my divorced in-laws?
- Should we invite a recently divorced couple?
- Should we let one couple bring a kid?
- Must I invite my practical-joker cousin?
- Can I invite dad's parents, but not dad?
- How do we announce our two weddings?
- Should I invite my ex-husband to the wedding?
- Does dad have to be my aisle escort?
- When must I send thank-you notes?
- How should I handle a forgotten thank-you?
- Should we ditch a nervous toast-giver?
- Do I have to invite my five co-workers?
- How can I get his mother to back off?
- Should I allow one person to bring a guest?
- Should I plan extra activities for out-of-town guests?
- How do you prioritize your wedding guest list?
- Can we ask our guests to give us cash gifts?
- Which side of the aisle do guests sit on at a same-sex union?
