"So how about that weather!" your fiancé mumbles to your dad.
"Yup," he grunts, in return.
"It’s raining pretty hard outside," your fiancé tries, in vain.
"If it’s raining, it’s because it is outside," your dad replies with a roll of the eyes.
Getting your dad to like your fiancé (and vice versa) may be a challenging task. The two most important men in your life may seemingly have nothing in common. Your fiancé may be a baseball and barbecue fanatic, whereas your father may prefer a Saturday afternoon at the bookstore, followed by working in his woodshop. That said, you can certainly get opposites to attract, so to speak, and actually enjoy each other’s company. Here are some ideas you can help with male bonding.
Break the Ice
The nature of the relationship between a man and his father-in-law can be tense, at first. Your father has been protective of you since you were born and marrying you off is no different. Your father, of course, was in your fiancé’s shoes once, too. However, once you’ve signaled that you’ve found the right guy, the ice between your father and your fiancé may only need some melting. Your goal is simply to give your fiancé and your father a chance to get to know each other and find commonalities on their own. That’s not to say you can’t be the catalyst!
You have some time
First and foremost – don’t try to force the issue. Relations between the two need not be as strong as between your husband and his best friends. There’s nothing wrong with them being acquaintances rather than great golfing buddies. Just as you’re traditionally welcomed into your fiancé’s family, it might be nice to make your fiancé feel welcomed in yours. Remember that your marriage will last a lifetime and that male bonding between your father and your fiancé is a marathon, not a sprint.
Use your brothers
If you’ve got brothers, they probably have mercilessly ribbed your fiancé about your relationship, or perhaps even looked upon your fiancé with suspicion. Chances are it’ll be easy to get your man to hang out with your brothers, whether it be for beers or for sports. Golf can work wonders, even for guys that don’t golf. Why not suggest your fiancé take the initiative and organize an afternoon at the driving range together? Your dad should be invited along. It’s a way for the group of them to bond without having to be overt about it. Of course, the sport or activity does not have to be golf, so long as it is fun for all involved.
Spending time together
Given that the tie in the relationship between your dad and your fiancé is you, you can be the social link (or referee) between them. Invite them both out for lunch, with you in tow. Invite your mom and dad to a double date at a movie. There’s no speaking required between them during the hour and a half of the movie itself, and yet they are spending time together. Go see a fun comedy.
If you put all of these tips to good use, your prospective groom and your dad will be able to talk about their interests, rather than the weather, in good time. —Michael Arnot, Founder, GroomGroove.com
