Honeymoon Ideas & Answers

The Great Honeymoon Debate

How to compromise when you and your groom have different ideas about your dream trip

Colorful brochures fly across the room, travel books hit the coffee table with a thud and Web site printouts that have been ripped to shreds flutter to the floor like confetti. Okay, so maybe it’s not that dramatic, but some engaged duos are dismayed to discover not that the honeymoon is over, but that they can’t even agree on where it should start. Here’s how three couples handled the dilemma.

Around the World in 180 Days
If Stephanie and Zachary Metler had been plotting their honeymoon saga with pushpins on a map, the paper probably wouldn’t have been visible by the end of their six-month negotiation. The Chicago couple admit they got a late start planning their September 2008 trip, partly because they never anticipated having a problem. “We thought it would just fall into place, because we’d be so excited to go somewhere together,” Stephanie says. “And we even had the same goals in mind: activities and relaxation.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough. Stephanie had wanted to honeymoon in Italy ever since her mother had described her own post-wedding trip there. “It sounded like the most romantic place,” she recalls. “Italy was it.” Zachary, however, favored Hawaii, pointing out that it offered exactly what they wanted: a place to unwind but still with plenty to do.

So in March 2008, the couple began a “huge research project.” Stephanie considered Hawaii, but she’d been there before and felt strongly about going somewhere new to both of them—a sentiment often expressed by engaged couples. So from Hawaii and Italy, they moved on to the Caribbean, which they deemed dicey since September is in hurricane season. Plowing through Web sites, Stephanie found herself “throwing out all these random places, and I mean random: Greece, Tahiti, Acapulco…”

Instant Non-Gratification
All those options and more were thoroughly discussed—well, sort of. Ninety-nine percent of this back and forth was via computer. “We were both working full-time,” explains Stephanie, a hotel catering and conference coordinator, “and we started by e-mail, then switched to IM-ing because you can ‘talk,’ but it was still kind of tense. We had a lot of arguments because we couldn’t read each other’s tone.” They tried to sit down and talk face-to-face, but Stephanie says that when she and Zachary, a bank loan officer, got home at night they were both so exhausted from IM-ing all day that they couldn’t bear to broach the issue again.

The couple finally hit on Napa and Sonoma. But after finding a hotel, they couldn’t agree on specifics: He wanted to include Southern California and drive up the coast. She didn’t see her honeymoon as a road trip.

Then Zachary suggested delaying the honeymoon altogether. “No way!” Stephanie recalls saying.

Honeymoon Ideas
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