Mother told me of boyfriend's proposal

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derstern Posts : 1 Registered: 1/17/13
Mother told me of boyfriend's proposal
Posted: Jan 17, 2013 7:01 AM

I find myself in a strange situation and would love to hear some other people's opinions.

While my boyfriend and I were visiting my parents at the weekend, my bf asked my father for his blessing and told him he loves me very much. My father told my mother who then rang me the next day to tell me!

As the proposal would have been a surprise I feel she has both robbed me of this and has disrespected my bf. Also I'm sure she has told all the family already.

My bf and I are always very open with each other, i feel I'm almost lying to him by hiding my knowledge.

The other side of me ecstatic, I'm madly in love with him and we've always talked of marraige/children.

So do I play dumb and act surprised when it does happen? Or do I tell him?

Also... I'm very annoyed with my mother. Even though i've told her this and that she's ruined a surprise she. doesn't care as she got to gossip the Tory first! If I get angry with her she'll get emotional and the she'll see herself as the victim.

Any advice greatly appreciated? What would you do?

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Uberoom1 Posts : 26 Registered: 12/10/12
Re: Mother told me of boyfriend's proposal
Posted: Feb 25, 2013 10:26 AM Go to message in response to: derstern

That is kind of a tough spot but that doesn't mean that you can't turn around the situation into something else!

You can actually let your BF do the whole dance (he has clearly planned something elaborate!), say "yes" and then tell him that you knew already. Or as suggested before you can actually play turncoat, and surprise him instead with a proposal. It would be unexpected and sweet and the element of surprise would remain.

In the end, the important thing is not the proposal or the ring, that's all fancy footwork. What matters is the desire of starting a new life together, the promise of love and companionship that lasts for a lifetime. And nothing can take that away from you.

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mrsloverboy Posts : 5 Registered: 2/28/13
Re: Mother told me of boyfriend's proposal
Posted: Feb 28, 2013 12:46 PM Go to message in response to: derstern

I'm sure that everyone had the best of intentions and it's best not to start the wedding planning with your parents on a sour note (and it's great that your parents are excited - right?)

I stumbled upon some of my fiance's proposal plans a few days in advance and was a little disappointed - until he actually proposed and then I was so surprised by the details of the proposal and how perfect and lovely it all was... long story short, I was genuinely surprised even though I knew it was coming and it was amazing. I know he would have been devastated to know I'd seen the things I'd seen and I if I'd told him then I probably would have missed out on the sweetest proposal and amazing memories that came along with it...

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Uberoom1 Posts : 26 Registered: 12/10/12
Re: Mother told me of boyfriend's proposal
Posted: Feb 28, 2013 5:18 PM Go to message in response to: derstern

You should also consider that he took the time to plan the proposal so the fact that you were told doesn't make it the end of the story, you should wait and see, maybe it will still surprise you more than what you expect!

Good Luck!

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