I need this forum today more than ever…you can only talk to people you know so much about the ups and downs of wedding planning, so I am SO thankful this place exists!
So, I have been planning our wedding almost a year now, we are doing a “destination wedding” (out of state in Florida…we are all from Mass). I knew there would be challenges, believe me. First, the hotel prices were sky high the weekend we booked in April after they first said a ballpark number that was way off. So we moved the whole wedding up 2 weeks (thankfully they had a date in May free). After that, I had a few scattered problems…guest list disputes with relatives, lost a bridesmaid after a falling out and decided not to be friends (wow), My Dad has been threatening (not aggressively) to not come due to financial issues, I had to find a new florist after the guy I had been talking to stopped returning calls..all the alcohol was marked up 200% for the open bar..you know, stuff like that! Now, the latest issue is surrounding my Mother and a friend of hers coming to the wedding. My Mother is a nervous flyer and she has a close friend I invited to keep her company and fly with her. Her friend decided to change everything we had talked about previously and change the days my Mother would be with me in Florida from Friday to Monday afternoon to leaving early Sunday morning! Meaning she spent all this money to be down there a day and half. ALSO I had planned for everyone to eat breakfast together etc. and she would have been gone before we got up! She booked the flights and I now am offering to pay the difference to book a later flight.
I know these sorts of things sound trivial to a lot of people, but as you Brides know, especially your Mom, you want the people you care about most to be there and enjoy themselves. I know when you have a destination wedding, you have to be respectful of what people can and can’t do, so I am trying to make peace with this process. Some days you just want to lose it, you know what I mean?
If you had hired a wedding planner in FL, she should have been able to aleviate some of your problems. I am a planner in the Northwest and I work with many out-of-area brides. It takes so much stress and pressure off you when someone familiar with local merchants can make wise recommendations and deal with issues that arise.
As for the family issues, you can't direct other people's plans. I do agree that your mother's friend was probably thinking of herself and not your mother when she changed their reservations. But, your mom could have refused to agree to the change. As a word of caution, don't try to plan too much in addition to the wedding. If people can come for breakfast, they will and if they don't, that is their choice. Try to relax and focus on your fiance and enjoying yourselves and don't sweat the extra details. It will all turn out just the way it should.