Friend is having a destination wedding...is it not appropiate to have a shower?
I think she should still have one as there are not many going to wedding away and there will be a post party locally after they return....
She can invite anyone to a shower who is also invited to the wedding. It does not matter if the guest is unable to attend the wedding.
Stay away from something like "You are good enough to come to a party to give me gifts, but not good enough to be invited to the wedding ceremony itself.".
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