Trouble with the MIL

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usfbeachbum Posts : 27 Registered: 6/6/10
Trouble with the MIL
Posted: Jul 19, 2010 9:26 AM

We were living in my MIL's last Summer while I visited and when I moved here in January. We finally moved into our condo in February which was not soon enough. A while later she was getting a little too nosy, and I just couldn't handle eating at her house every day so I started cooking right after we settled in. At this point she was a little hurt and I guess she tried to bribe us by cooking our favourite food and then calling saying that she cooked and she made enough for us because she thought we would come over. Even though I told her I would be cooking. Anyways this continued for a while but eventually she gave up.

Now, last week I was helping my sister in law paint and MIL came over and was non-stop criticizing my SIL. Just complaining that she didnt like the color, there was paint all over the floor and so on. My SIL said something along the lines, if you can't say anything nice then just leave. So, MIL left. This continued all week. Thursday afternoon I stopped by for coffee and she started with me. Asking why I had taken her son away from her, and didnt allow him to come over anymore. I was shocked, but she always says things as a "joke" and I tried to take it as such. I responded by simply stating that I encouraged DH to stop by. but she responded that I started cooking so he would eat her food. Again I said he was a grown man and I never made him eat with me. He was free to eat wherever he wanted.

Saturday and Sunday we went scuba diving and Sunday evening we stopped by for a chat. At which point she started yelling at DH about him getting too much sun, and the sea is dangerous. And asking me why I didn't tell him to put Sun Screen on, and that it was my fault he burned. I should have forced him etc. I took all of this in stride. Even when she was criticizing me under her breath for the way I was cleaning the scuba gear. I ignored it all. About two hours later she started complaining again about him being too muscular and that it was dangerous, and of course moved on to complain about him getting too much sun and me encouraging him. This was the last straw I told DH I want to leave right now.

The moment we got home he was telling me that I need to be more careful because his mom could tell I was upset. It was obvious in my face that I was annoyed. Needless to say huge fight about everything.

A cousin of his gave birth a few days ago and she's still at the hospital and he wanted me to go too. Again a big difference in culture. I barely know her and she is a first time mother. I don't think she wants people around everyday yet. Im sure shes still exhausted. But alas I agreed. Right away he called his mom and asked if she wanted to come too. While I will get over everything that she was complaining about; I do not want to be in the same car with her today. Probably for the rest of the week. I told DH but now he's saying Im putting him in a difficult position. Should I go?

He also expects me to invite his 7 aunts and their husbands and kids to help me get dressed the day of our wedding. I would prefer to spend that time with my family and my bridesmaids. It's a custom. But, I already have to get baptized to a church I dont believe and invite 800 people to a wedding that I think is pointless. But because its the tradition I'm going along with it. Instead he says he's concerned that it will reflect bad on him if I disrespect his family by making the dressing portion by invitation only. And excluding some of his family (I am inviting his mom and dad, and his sister is the MOH).

Im sorry about the length but I really need some input on this. Thank you guys for your time!

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onlyone1147 Posts : 13 Registered: 10/12/11
Re: Trouble with the MIL
Posted: Oct 12, 2011 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: usfbeachbum

hahah Sounds like my life. Try to put it in her perspective, you are taking away her son. The person who she has done his laundry made him dinners and lunches. Im guessing she is missing her son and is blaming you for the problem. When its not you, its just the fact that her son is not a little boy. OH MIL!

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