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Work Guests Etiquette

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CassieK9 Posts : 1 Registered: 7/12/10
Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Jul 12, 2010 2:12 PM

I work in a primarly male work place. I've worked there 2 years now and for the 2 years I've worked there most of my male co workers have been giving me a hard time about when I was going to get engaged. Well it finally happend and now they are all excited! Some of them have dropped hints about when they'll see the invite in the mail...or when it is etc. I tried to detour some of them by telling them it was an hour and half away from where we all live but that didn't work! I'm stuck..I wouldn't mind some of them coming but then I know they would probably bring their wives who I have NEVER met before. I also am not sure how that would look if I sent an invitation to my co worker and the wife saw it? Do they get jealous? Or how does that look? Am I over analyzing things?

While my wedding isn't really fancy (food will be burgers and brats etc) I still want to get a good headcount. Another problem is there are some guys that I DO want to come so how do I invite some of them but not all of them? Most of them are all around 30-40 years my senior and most are "father like figures" to me so it really is hard to tell them they aren't invited. They are just a bunch of good ol' boys! My wedding is over a year away (August 27 2011) so I have some time but I need some suggestions on what steps I should take.

Thanks

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KCI Posts : 150 Registered: 3/30/09
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Jul 12, 2010 2:25 PM Go to message in response to: CassieK9

"I wouldn't mind some of them coming but then I know they would probably bring their wives who I have NEVER met before. I also am not sure how that would look if I sent an invitation to my co worker and the wife saw it? Do they get jealous? Or how does that look?"

It wouldn't matter if the wife saw the invitation, because her name would be on it as well as her husband's.

If you invite any married coworker their spouse must also be invited, even if you haven't met the wife before. It's an etiquette requirement to invite married people as a couple, even if you only know one of the people in the couple.

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myras Posts : 396 Registered: 2/26/10
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 1:25 PM Go to message in response to: CassieK9

You're under no obligation to invite anyone from work, unless you also socialize with these people outside of work. I don't get the part about a "good headcount." Why pay to entertain people that you don't really know or care about? Married couples are invited together--no excuses there. You don't have to invite all, if you invite some. Guage by your relationships with them. You might invite your boss, department head, etc., to kind of "represent" the office.

Most of all,separate your private life from your work life. DO NOT spend a lot of time discussing your wedding plans at the office. DO NOT distribute invitations there, show pictures of your ideas, etc., etc. And definitely spread the word that you are having a small, intimate,"family and close friends" wedding, so you lower expectations well ahead of time.

myra@classysassyweddings.com

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angust87 Posts : 35 Registered: 3/24/10
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Jul 13, 2010 3:53 PM Go to message in response to: myras

I understand the stress and confusion about who to invite and who not to invite at work. There are some ladies here at work whom are going to my wedding, like 5 out of my department on 15...I just tell everyone that it's a small family and close friends kind of thing. The ladies that I've invited, I did it on our own time, not at work and I know that their husbands will come, even though I haven't met them or I've only met them once or twice. Some people that I'm friends with but not close close to, assume that they are automatically invited and/or keep asking about the date and all that stuff, along with the, "make sure I get and invite"...but all I say is, "sorry we're having a small family and very close friend wedding"...some of them still don't get it, but I guess when the day comes and goes and they weren't invited they can either be cool with it, or freak out. At first, when we were making the guest list I felt bad that I wasn't inviting everyone. But after a while I realized that since we are having such an intimate small wedding, only our close intimate family and friends should be there. So, although you have fun and joke around and work with these guys all the time, you shouldn't feel like you have to invite them. Hope that helps some.

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BlueBoxBlueShoes Posts : 49 Registered: 2/15/10
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Jul 14, 2010 2:54 PM Go to message in response to: angust87

I'm not really planning on inviting my co-workers at all, since the wedding will be six hours away from where we currently live. They know about the wedding (obviously!) but I think that as long as you keep an open line of communication so no one feels lied to or left out, you'll be okay.

But seriously, if someone REALLY wants to drive 1.5 hours, buy you a wedding present and share in your wedding excitement... why not let them? It's very sweet that a bunch of men are so excited about your wedding.

"I liked it, so I put a ring on it." - the Future Mr. BlueBoxBlueShoes

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wzq103 Posts : 2,771 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Dec 15, 2012 4:40 AM Go to message in response to: CassieK9

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jackson132 Posts : 1,662 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Work Guests Etiquette
Posted: Dec 24, 2012 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: CassieK9

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