I worry about that too, Brooke. The bitterness . It took awhile for my inlaws to actually bother me at all, since we don't live close by to them. And I think what magnifies whatever aggrevation they do, now, cause, is the fact that they aren't very warm or open people. So even when things are fine, it feels forced. If that makes sense.
But, I just remember that some people have it REALLY bad with inlaws, and that at least mine don't live too close so there IS some time in between problems - moreso than if we lived close together . So that helps, big time.
Not like my friend who was physically attacked by her FMIL...
You're so right Bird, just need to focus on the good times in-between and try not let the other crap get to me. I can't let them control my life, whether it's what they actually say or by how I feel about it. You're right, it could be MUCH worse. That's awful for your friend, I couldn't even imagine!!
I have been cornered by my MIL more than once. It is not fun. I totally sympathize with you there.
I make a concerted effort to be respectful to my in-laws, as I am with anybody. No matter how upset a person makes me I do not yell at them or call them names and as much as possible I strive to see the issue from the other person's possible point of view.
That said, sometimes people are not respectful back to me. Sometimes people violate boundaried and behave badly. And while I am never rude back to a person, I do not believe that politeness dictates that I submit to behaviors that make me uncomfortable and/ or endanger my family.
No one should not feel at all badly about not allowing people to use up gas you need and paid for. It is wise to not take your child to a home that the owners have refused to baby proof. I understand people who are not parents not baby proofing their entire home as it can get expensive. But if people plan to host the parents of a toddler, I think that they should at least baby proof the room people will be spending extended time in- like the living room if that is where the adults intend to visit.
To the OP- you seem to me to have a very good heart and I applaud you being so gracious in regard to your inlaws. My only advice to you is stand your ground when it counts to you and mostly, keep up the good work.
"Man's chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever." ~Westminister Catechism
I try to spread my message to the world the best way that I can give it We can make it, always be optimistic If you don’t listen, gotta live my life the best way that I can live it With the faith of a mustard seed, you can move mountains And only the heavenly father can ease the hurt Just let it go and keep prayin’ on your knees in church (Let’s go) And be hopeful, hopeful, and He’ll make a way I know it ain’t easy but - that’s okay Cause we hopeful -"Hope" by Twista and Faith Evans