Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 7:29 AM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

I thought the same thing when I first got engaged and first started planning my wedding, there's so many little details I thought I was going to go crazy! Then once I started booking things, I realized I didn't need a WP. I thought about it, and realized all those little details no one is even going to remember. The place I'm having it at pretty much supplies everything, from the food to the cake, liquor is included, a couple supplies for center peices, the linens, all of that. Then I thought about what else is important to me, my dress, photographry, music, flowers (not that important, but I want something just to give it a nice touch). I also thought of what the guests are going to recognize at the wedding, and remember after the wedding. Usually it's the food and if they have fun...OK, the food is good, and my fiance is a DJ so he has friends to take care of the music (and I know it'll be fun!!!), and we got a photographer to remember our day. I want to stand out, don't want my dress to look like every other bridal gown, so I found a unique mermaid style, and from pics I see on face book and other weddings I've been too, a lot of brides around here don't usually go for that style. There's also been some things I've realized while planning that I can do with out, one being video, we have a camera and can just ask a friend to do it, and I'm probably going to do my own makeup now or have a friend do it.

Once I got the most important things over with, it was so much more relieving. I know I still gotta take care of other things, like invites and all that, but it's not like people are going to be upset if I don't have napkins with our initials monogrammed on it or anything like that.

How far along in the process are you? Have you thought about what you really want and what your really able to do yourself? If not, maybe once you get further a long in the process you might realize you don't need one. I know if I was to have booked one, I probably wouldn't been wishing I spent the money on something else. Like I said earlier, it would be nice to have someone do all the work for you (isn't that the case with everything though, LOL?), but unless your really wanting a lot of details and really having trouble, you might be OK with out one.

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ArtBride Posts : 4,838 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 3:56 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsDJLeo

I hated wedding planning. Almost every part of it was an annoyance that got in the way of my busy regular life. Even the 'fun' parts weren't that fun. Sure, picking out flowers sounds like it would be fun - IF you could do it when YOU had time. Having to get out of work early and drive half an hour in rush-hour traffic to meet a vendor that isn't open evenings and weekends is NOT fun. Getting phone calls from wedding vendors about trivial things when you're in the middle of something important is NOT fun. Negotiating prices is NOT fun. Shelling out huge sums of money to multiple vendors is NOT fun. DIY projects might sound fun, but when you have a long list of things that you'd rather be doing, they're not. Staying up late to address your invitations because you can't get it done during the day is NOT fun. Dealing with family drama is NOT fun. This stuff all sucks - I don't know why brides-to-be always have the idea that wedding planning is going to be fun. On the good days, it's mildly annoying. On the bad days, it's torturous.

I don't have much else to say, except that all the PPs are right. You absolutely do not need most of the things that people, magazines, or wedding tv shows will tell you that you need. For your own sanity, don't try to do everything. I could give you a long list of 'necessary' things that we skipped, and pretty much everybody who attended our wedding has commented multiple times that it was the best wedding they've ever been to.

AOTB mentioned that you really only need two willing partners, an officiant, and a marriage license to get married. For a reception, however, most wedding guests only care about the following:
1) Good food.
2) Good bar selection (if they drink).
3) Good music.
4) Good company.
5) Happy bride and groom.

The rest is all fluff. Don't worry too much about it.

DaisypathWedding Ticker

Vice President and Guardian of the Toilet Brush of POOP: People Offended by Offended People

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WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 5:29 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

Thanks for everyone's input, suggestions and thoughts. I suppose my rant may have been a bit unwarranted, and partly due to the shitty day I was having....but it felt good either way! See the thing is, many of the little things that I'm stressing over are things that I WANT, not necessarily things that I feel I HAVE to have. I don't consider myself very traditional, so I don't really feel the pressure of doing things that I don't want to do. The problem is that I have too many damn things in my head that I want to include, and the frustration is coming with the realization that it's going to take a lot to achieve them. It all just looks so overwhelming on paper, and although I am thankful for those wedding checklists that are in EVERY SINGLE BRIDAL ANYTHING, lately I want to spit on them, rip them up and light them on fire.

So here's where we're at.....
1) We ARE getting married on the beach...right there on the sand. So that part is easy, right? Wrong. What are we going to stand under/around next to? Flowers? Runners? Blah blah blah. Just standing there on the beach looked too bland to me (I definitely already scoped that out to save some sanity).
2). Got the photographer. Whew.
3). Still no band.
4). Can't decide on colors
5). Have a beautiful, wonderful venue (hotel that owns the private beach our ceremony is on) which is the only thing that is keeping me sane.
The rest - all 40 things that I have written down- have yet to be established. I can't really complain though; I'm driving myself crazy by choice.....but it's nice to bitch. Please Santa, send me a angel dressed as a wedding planner. Thank you.

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WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

ArtBride,
You mentioned the key elements of a wedding that guests actually care about:
1) Good food.
2) Good bar selection (if they drink).
3) Good music.
4) Good company.
5) Happy bride and groom.

Well, our food is going to be AWESOME (I'm a total foodie), and plenty of it. We are having 5 hours of top shelf open bar as well. We're looking at 3 bands that are absolutely wonderful. Our families and friends are the best. The two of us are head over heels in love. So I figure that everyone will be way too full, way too drunk, and way too busy getting crazy on the dance floor to even give a crap about much else. I may as well just quit the planning now.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 4, 2009 10:45 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

Dear WB,

"4). Can't decide on colors"

Here's my standard advice. The "regulars" already know what I am going to say.

Forget the usual one dominant color plus accent. Go for a collection, a palette, of colors. Getting married at the beach? What colors come to mind? Bright, tropical colors in a wide variety of hues, shades and tones. Why be stuck with blue and white? Imagine a beach in Hawaii with all the different colors of flowers beach towels, surfboards and bathing suits.

You might go for a cool color palette. Blues (not just one blue but BLUES), sand colors, greens, etc.

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WoostaBride Posts : 220 Registered: 6/8/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 5, 2009 12:18 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I am not sticking with just a couple colors...and that's my problem. I understand the effect that various hues and shades can have, yet I am constantly changing my mind as to which main colors to use. It started off with blues, yellows and green accents....now I'm really in love with jewel tones; rich, saturated color, yet vibrant enough to be pulled off on the beach. I need someone to make the decision for me because I'm making myself crazy.

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TR2010 Posts : 50 Registered: 11/15/09
Re: Wedding Planning May Be The Death of Me
Posted: Dec 7, 2009 7:07 PM Go to message in response to: WoostaBride

awww omg ur gettin married on my birthday.. that is cute

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