Unity Candles and no mother

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LilTuffGirl Posts : 301 Registered: 11/4/08
Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 3:16 PM

So I already spent $50 on custom made unity candles and now my mom said she can't make it to my wedding. She was living off of the alamony my dad was giving her.. my dad was layed off. She lives in Cali and i'm in WV. So it SUCKS but I can't do anything about it. It's just one of the MANY things that have been crappy latley.

We told my FMIL last night and she was upset but ok. She asked who was going to light the unity candle... crap.. forgot about that.

Since my brother was un-invited due to his immaturity and tendancy to always bash my father who I love very much... that leaves only my dad and MAYBE an aunt from Enland I haven't since since I was 12 that will be there as part of my family....

Do I have my dad light it? If so then should my FMIL wait to light hers until my dad walks me down? Or should she light it once she's walked down and sit and my dad lights it as soon as he gives me over to my FH??


Although i'm 2 seconds away from pulling out all my hair and just seeing how much money I can get back from all of this and just go to the damn courthouse. My college screwed me too and I have to pay $1,100 by tomorrow....... yay! I have $1k in the bank and still have $250 to pay on the tuxes and may hair and nails to pay for. I guess I have to now let the soon to be in-laws pay for the cake and other things they wanted to pay for. I wanted long table cloth that went to the floor and chair covers... I decided I can live without the chair covers since it's too much... but now the venue says all the have are the dumpy table cloth that just covers the table and that about it.. AWESOME... So pretty much everything I hoped my wedding would be... wont be... If it wasn't for the college i'd be able to tell myself to get over it and be happy I get to be with him forever and that I wont get everything I want since i'm not rich. I would like to have my mother at least.... :sigh:

And i'd cut out the hair and nail expence but my nails are all different lengths and I can't do hair worth a DAMN.. neither can my FMIL. My Brides maid has short hair and isn't use to long hair... I wanted to get my makeup done by someone else but I guess i'll do it myself and hope for the best....

http://www.ezticker.com/ticker/1642/214/20090829/our+wedding/ticker.png

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending

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Ebby102310 Posts : 57 Registered: 2/3/09
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 3:32 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

Wow, rough day huh?

I'm not sure about the tradition, but have you thought having a good family friend light the candle for you?

As for your nails and hair, check out the local beauty schools, they offer great deals, and if you're in school, check out your campus. There might be someone to do it for free or really cheap. Also some websites offer hairstyle tips and instructions, so if you have a style you like, see if a BM can help you out by doing your hair for you.

A basic mani should not cost more than $15 depending on the area. Have a BM call around and find out for you, which will help you not stress :)

After the wedding comes the real funSmile

 

wedding tickers

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LilTuffGirl Posts : 301 Registered: 11/4/08
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: Ebby102310

Rough month an a half... My luck should turn around here soon. Life has always been one hell of a roller coaster. It would be better if I get a mix of good and bad luck but I don't.. I get bad luck for a while then good luck.. Hopefully the good luck kicks in soon before I lose my mind! That and I REALLY hope it doesn't rain on my wedding day. I paid good money to have my wedding outside. If It rains i'm just out of that money. Granted we'll get married in front of a beautiful fireplace but it's still not what I want. Plus i want pics of us and our motorcycles for our wedding pics...

I don't have any close friend's either. Move too much... And no longer trust many people. I like the idea of the lighting of the candles by the family and the joining of the two families like the flames join together. I just don't see how it'll be done without looking odd.

I give up on caring about my nails too. I've hear horror stories about bad nails but I can't find the people who are good. One is already booked till mid sept. She recomended someone else who no longer works at the place the chic said she was.
I think i'll just go to the place near where I tan. The other chic said it depends on who you get on if it's good or not... Gambeling is fun right?

http://www.ezticker.com/ticker/1642/214/20090829/our+wedding/ticker.png

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending

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Ebby102310 Posts : 57 Registered: 2/3/09
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 4:42 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

Lol true all luck changes. What abt having you and your FH light the candles? I saw once where the parents and the couple lit them together, and that was beautiful.

And the whole wedding look? As long as you feel beautiful and happy, no one will care about your nails. And you might save more by doing them yourself, just pick a neutral color and give yourself a home mani, plus it will relax you alot.

After the wedding comes the real funSmile

 

wedding tickers

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 6:56 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

Here is what we did the first time I got married. I wanted the unity candle, but incorporating it was a huge pain in the butt.

We had ours as the first part of the reception. My parents each walked in with a candle and together lit mine, his mom, dad, step mom each walked in with a candle and together lit his. Then we walked in and lit ours, before cutting the cake.

Now, this might not work for you. When his mom is escorted in, have her light his candle. Your dad could walk in and light your candle, then go back out and get you OR he could escort you to the front, light your candle, then give you away.

Misty

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myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 12, 2009 11:33 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

Sorry about your Mom--that sucks.
My general take on weddings is that if some "tradition" doesn't work for you, you change it to suit yourself (or cut it out entirely). So, think outside the box with the candle(s). The officiant could call up a representative from each family to light the candle a little later in the ceremony. You and your FH could do it (but I have a feeling his mother would want to). You and his mother could do it (a girl-bonding thing). Or, it could be done at the reception (e.g. before the first dance or as grace is being said, if you choose to do that--in other words, a nice"moment.") Good luck--it's almost time!
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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LilTuffGirl Posts : 301 Registered: 11/4/08
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Aug 13, 2009 8:38 AM Go to message in response to: myra

Yup it's really close!! Sadly I just can't wait until it's all over!! We should have gone with my original idea of getting married in Feb. of next year. Would have given me time to rest from school. Oh well. It still means the same regardless.

Whats great is my FMIL offerd to pay for the round trip plane tickets for my mom to come... my mom turned them down stating she has too much to pay for and wouldn't be able to afford the dress, rental car, and hotel (although I told her she could stay here) This is all after she asked my dad if he wanted to share a room and my dad just ignored the request. So i'm thinking it has more to do with my dad than anything. But hey if she wants to miss her only daughters wedding.. :shrugg: I love her regardless.

This is why we shouldn't dream of our weddings when we are little girls!! Too much dissapointment when it comes! ! lol Life seemed so much better when you could just dream of the cool things to come. When it gets down to it.... not so cool. ALthough I really couldn't ask for a better guy!! I feel VERY lucky when it comes to that part of life!! And I could be MUCH worse off. Just a lot to take in all at once.

http://www.ezticker.com/ticker/1642/214/20090829/our+wedding/ticker.png

True love never lives happily ever after - true love has no ending

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Sep 13, 2012 3:18 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Sep 27, 2012 3:54 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

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jackson132 Posts : 1,623 Registered: 9/13/12
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Dec 6, 2012 7:57 PM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

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ShellyAve Posts : 3 Registered: 12/10/12
Re: Unity Candles and no mother
Posted: Dec 10, 2012 9:40 AM Go to message in response to: LilTuffGirl

I'm so sorry that everything is going so crazy for you :( but at least you and your FH have each other. ::hugs:: I'm sure one way or another the dust will settle and you will be happy once all is said and done. Try not to go too crazy!

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