Honeymoon Over? Help!

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 3:09 PM

I wonder if anyone else is experiencing the same thing. I got married June 6th and for the most part things are great. However, I am really afraid my new husband and I am going to turn into an old married couple way too fast! My DH has been so attentive and romantic, wanting to spend time with me, etc. Lately, he is playing video games! I have to ask him to come to bed to "hang out with me". I guess that is another way of saying that I am the one initiating sex. I have talked to him about this... and he says, "Oh sweetie... that is not going to happen to us! We are fine!" Well.. how do I know that? Has anyone else had these fears? Should I just relax? Help!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 3:29 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Hi Francie, I believe we all have an image in our head of what married life will be like after the wedding. And while it is an exciting and blisfful time, we really do fall into a routine and sometimes it's not the routine of choice! Since you have talked to your DH about you initiating, wait a while and see if it gets better. If it doesn't, you may have to bring it up once again and let him know you mean business! I had the same fear, but I realized that our marriage is what we make it. But I'm sure you guys are fine, because most men can't stay off the video games!

 Lilypie - (8e8A)

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 5:24 PM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

Okay. So, you don't think I should put on a black teddy and walk right in front of the video game.... pretending to be dusting or something? LOL!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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IslaBonitaBride Posts : 82 Registered: 2/4/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 5:46 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Hahahaha.....As a matter of fact, I had to resort to similar tactics. It worked though!

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 5:50 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

I wouldnt recommend it Franc... If I did that while my husband was playing one of his many Playstation Games, he would probably just think it was part of the game. "What? whats this? A person in lingerie? I havent ever gotten to this level before! SWEET!"

Ive learned not to speak to my husband while he plays his stupid games. lol. I just ignore him and he ignores me. Sure, it sounds like theres a gangriot taking place inside our apartment, but it relaxes him. I would only start to be concerned if he is playing those games really really often, to the point where its taking away from your relationship. but other than that, dont worry about it.

As for becoming an old married couple, we all will. As long as you can keep finding things you love about one another, and keep things interesting by always doing new things together , and also realizing there will be lots of fun days, and lots of boring routine ones too, and try to be okay with that. I think anyone who can do that and still truly like each other , is doing something right.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 7:08 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

My husband and I had this "problem" too. We came to an agreement that sex trumps video games but I can't use sex to get him away from them. Also, I find things I can do while he plays them. Like surf the internet, study, clean, whatever. It's nice when you have something to do while he's doing his thing so you don't feel ignored. Just talk it out. Good luck!

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 8:32 PM Go to message in response to: IslaBonitaBride

Oh! Do tell... please!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 8:35 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Thanks Kell... I know he needs his "down time" after work.... it's just that he never seemed to need it that first year we were dated. Now we are married and he is playing video games. I don't know. It's just sort of scary. I agree that it is important to keep it interesting. I will have to ponder that one a bit. I did make a sex game out of the board game "candy land" once. I made all these cards and everytime you landed on one of the little sugar plums or something you had to take off a piece of clothing. I don't think we made it through the whole game. ha ha!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 5, 2009 8:36 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

It actually helps A LOT to know that other couples have gone through this same thing too! I am not the only one! Thank you!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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NewMrsVelino Posts : 144 Registered: 6/9/08
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 3:10 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Francie - FH and I aren't even married yet but have been living together for 4 years. We already go through things like that although he's not big into video games. After work he likes to sit on his computer and search endlessly on eBay for nothing in particular. Then he'll get off the computer to eat dinner with me, go back on the computer, get off the computer at 10:00 to watch TV with me and mostly ends up falling asleep on the couch. I talked to him about it and he's gotten a lot better and understands where I'm coming from. His argument always was he just wants to relax when he comes home from work and my argument was always "ok, then come relax with me!" I have also used lingerie in the past to get his attention!
When is my wedding

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 3:49 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

This is the story of my life to be honest. And thats what brought us to our problems. I am not a "settling" down type girl and to hear DH say "well this is just the way life is" rubs me the wrong way. So we talk and talk about it. And we agreed to try and do more things together. I totally get that most days will be routine and boring. But we both have agreed there should be SOMETHING to look forward to. Maybe you can plan a day trip together or plan a date night, then look forward to it!

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: FrancieElaine

Fran, see I told you you weren't by yourself! Are you usually an aggressive person? I asked because if you went up to him playing the game you should toss the controller and straddle him. My hubby likes it when I'm aggressive like that,try it and see what happens.


 Lilypie - (8e8A)

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NewMrsVelino Posts : 144 Registered: 6/9/08
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 6, 2009 5:35 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ4Life - I get so sick and tired of hearing that from my FH. "that's just the way it is so deal with it" Umm, no def. not. We've had MANY talks after that statement. I haven't heard it in a long time which is good, but ooooh does that make my blood boil!
When is my wedding

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 4:02 PM Go to message in response to: NewMrsVelino

Good I am glad I am not the only one. We also have MANY talks about that. I am not willing to settle into a boring life b/c someone thinks thats just how it is! It doesnt HAVE to!! Thankfully I am making progress on DH with this!!

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: Honeymoon Over? Help!
Posted: Aug 7, 2009 4:58 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Very good idea! We need a night away! I am going to mention that right away!

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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http://twitter.com/BrideWhispering

 

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