I am beyond pissed!

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 1:15 PM

Ok I know that my wedding is not what everyones world revolves around. I am not saying that it should be...

I have gone through HELL to get my bridesmaids to order their dresses. They threw fits and I am not just exaggerating Literally they threw fits because they didn't like David's bridals choices. Fine. We went to group usa, then jeanettes, then to other stores in the area... Nothing was good enough. Literally they hated it all. My solution was for them to just get long black dresses that fit their budget. No. They didn't want to wear black... So we go through this whole mess. We find someone who will make their dresses. We go get them fitted and they pick out the color... My sister was the biggest pain in the ass about it. Well one of the bm's just got her dress and she HATES the color. Not just dislikes but HATES the color. She said it looks totally different now that it is a dress... So she doesn't want to wear it. My other girls are waiting to get theirs back and I honestly don't know what I am going to do. They are really being spoiled about it because I gave them free reign all I wanted was that the dresses be long and the same color family.

I want to say "Well you had the opportunity to get the black dresses, you had the opportunity to get darker ones. But no. You insisted on being pains in the ass and bow you are stuck with it. Its my wedding! Deal with it!!" But I don't want to be a bitch. I wanted them to find dresses they liked. But at this point we are almost 2 months out and I am sick of playing around with them... They keep bouncing back and forth about it and quite frankly I am getting tired of all of it.

Any advice on what you would do?

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 2:09 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

say "Well you had the opportunity to get the black dresses, you had the opportunity to get darker ones. But no. You insisted on being pains in the ass and bow you are stuck with it. Its my wedding! Deal with it!!"

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Honestly, I wouldn't have given them that much freedom in the first place and after they showed their asses at David's Bridal, I woulda' picked the dress for them. U know all the details of your wedding (ideas) so you know what will compliment your wedding better than they do.

Since you trusted these kids with such a 'hard' task, I would tell them to work these dresses that THEY PICKED the best they can OR you can find someone to replace these broads. Years ago, a friend of mine was married and made me one of her bridesmaids and our dresses were a HOT MESS (peach with poofy shoulders...a handmade mess that was NOT in style) but we wore those bad boys. She bought all four of them for $20 each at a consignment store. If my self image was more important than her wedding day, I woulda' pulled out of the wedding. We wore them. THE POINT IS we were standing up there to support her, not be fashion models...and from the looks we got, the guests recognized that off the bat.

Needless to say, stop being so nice to these tricks and take control of this situation. Let them know how it's gonna be. They can like it or leave. Hope this helps!
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Brooke051609 Posts : 723 Registered: 12/31/07
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 2:31 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I agree with Kennys... honestly, what in the world?!?! Since when do the bridesmaids get to choose the color, length, etc?? This is the Bride's decision! I took my girls and told them I would like them to wear light blue tea length dresses. Then we all decided which dress worked best for all of them. It sounds like your girls are spoiled brats and either need to buck up and go with what YOU want cause it is your wedding theme and color scheme, or get ready to deal with a very unhappy Bride! (I'm PMSing so this is coming across a lot harsher than I would normally put it! )

Seriously though, they need to stop making this more difficult than it is. this is a dress they'll wear once, for a few hours, not work clothes people see you in all the time! It sounds like you gave them a ton of chances and tried to work with them and they're just being a pain. Since you're 2 months out, you have little time to get this taken care of and I'm sure would like to be focusing on other things. So here's what you do: Choose a dress or two that CAN work with your time frame/budget/color and present them the option. If they don't like them, they doddled too long with this and they're just going to have to suck it up and go with the flow. I totally am not one of those girls that scream "This is MY DAY!!!" but honestly, this day is a reflection of your FH and you and your tastes and should be something you look back fondly of and proudly of. Not something you look at pictures and think, "Ugh! What a nightmare!" I know once you get to your day, this issue will not even matter, all that will matter is you're getting married! But for now, you should be able to have the wedding you envisioned. It's not like you went in to this telling them "This is it, no choices, here's how it's going to be!" It sounds like you've really tried, and they need to do the same. Good Luck!

 

                             "Come What May... "

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 2:55 PM Go to message in response to: Brooke051609

Thank you ladies!

I was only trying to let them wear dresses they liked and felt comfortable in because even though I am the one getting married I was trying to be nice and accommodating. After the dress shopping trips from hell that weekend I told them where they could get their dresses and that I wanted long dresses. I told them that they needed to find dresses in the same color group. they all picked the same exact color. When they got the dresses they all started bitching...

I just didn't know what to say. If I should just finally say that it IS My wedding and I think that they are going to have to be stuck with the dresses, or if I should be nice about it... I don't want to be nice anymore. But I also don't want to be a bitch. So I thank you for your opinions because I feel better about saying shut up and wear it!


As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 3:09 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

I like that. "Shut up and wear it." LOL! If they are as 'fly' as it sounds that they think they are, they should be able to make a bath towel look hot. I wouldn't sweat it. Those who don't wanna look crazy will pull off the dresses that you've had made for them. You will be lucky if you can get personally-made dresses refunded or exchanged. And since color is what they are complaining over, you can add a lot to a color with the accessories/flowers/ribbons/etc. It will turn out just fine :D

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 3:17 PM Go to message in response to: ToyToy09

Oh at this point... I don't care what the color looks like on them. I told all of them that they knew what the color was. It matches our wedding colors perfectly but I was being lenient in trying to let them pick different tones or even black. Told my sister to just bite it and wear the damn dress or drop out. So she shut up. My MOH said... "I don't care what I wear... I just don't want to look huge in a red dress. I like the color personally." I said "Yea well you are the only one." My other girls are just being assholes. I informed them both that at this point they should be happy they aren't wearing some peach frock sorry toytoy And that I was nice and tried to let them be big girls and pick out their own dresses. Truly my MOH is the only one who would have rocked a trashbag if I asked her too. the other 3 well they just need to be knocked off their pedestals.

As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

http://www.mywedding.com/shannonandbrandon<magicalkingdoms.com Ticker
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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 3:40 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

If they really wanna cry, I can mail my 'peach frock' to you and then your seamstress can copy that style for the 3 who need 'something new'. LOL! I am interested to see the color you are referencing. If you would prefer to PM me, that's cool too. I just wanna see what the fuss is all about (I'm a visual cookie)! I like your MOH...she sounds a LOT like mine :D

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Lilmisssouthern... Posts : 658 Registered: 8/12/08
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 3:45 PM Go to message in response to: ToyToy09

This is the exact color... They don't like it because they are difficult and they wanted something more "slimming" The three of them are size 12 -16.


As we grow older, as we continue to change with age, there is one thing that will never change about me, I will keep falling in love with you all over again every single day

Executive Recruiter and Quality Control Specialist of E.N.E.M.A A special division of P.O.O.P

http://www.mywedding.com/shannonandbrandon<magicalkingdoms.com Ticker
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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 4:16 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Haven't they ever heard of spanx!?! Or a diet, for that matter...I like that color. In the right material, that shade will really look good. I am not a skinny-minny, so I understand their concerns with wearing bright clothes, but it can be done and being plus size doesn't mean you wear drab colors all the time either! I wear loud colors often...not to make a statement, but because I like them :) They probably woulda' looked better in that color. Are you getting married in September (I didn't look at your date--my bad). That shade of red woulda' really brightened up the wedding for that season.
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FrancieElaine Posts : 654 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 5:19 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Okay, here's what you do. You might want to write this down. Get a voodoo doll for each one of your bridesmaids and dress them in the ugliest voodoo doll bridesmaids dresses you can find. You know, something big and taffeta with a huge bow on the butt. Get some elmer's glue and glue the dresses on the voodoo dolls and that way they can't take them off! LOL!

KIDDING! Well.. not really. Okay, yeah, I am kidding. I am sorry your bridesmaids are being so ridiculous. It sounds like you have given them every option. I guess they could eat the costs of the dresses if they wanted to do new ones otherwise I guess they would be stuck. I don't blame you for being pissed.

If all else fails.... I could hook you up with some bridesmaid voodoo dolls... heh heh

Francie Elaine

Francie Elaine, The Bride Whisperer

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 6:23 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

If they wanted something more slimming they should have chosen black. They wanted red they are stuck with red. Tell the little children that they will either wear the dresses they chose or they can keep their butts home that day. It's as simple as that.

 

 

 

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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brownegirl Posts : 523 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 9:36 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Drm, I can totally sympathise with you. They are being utterly idiotic. They chose the colour and style and now they want to complain about not liking the dresses they chose. I do not think you should worry too much about this issue. You have a lot of time left (I know it doesn't seem like that but you still have time), if they so choose they can choose a new style of dress and they can pay for them. Note I say them and not you. If they do not want to do this, then they are stuck with the dresses. They chose them.

You have been more than patient and fair. I would let them know their options and tell them to get back to me within a specified timeframe. I would not be taking on this stress and I hope you won't. This is so stupid. They either wear them or they change them but it is not your responsability to pay for it or oversee it.
That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. Innocent

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:37 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

I think you have been leniant enough with them, and with only 2 months until your wedding there's really not much more you can do. Are any of these girls married, or have they ever stood up in a wedding before? To me it sounds like they are being asses just to be asses. Most people, if you give them an inch they take a foot, and that is exactly what it sounds like these girls are doing. You need to tell them "The dresses are made, there is nothing else we can do, no more options. You guys had plenty of choices and this is what you chose, I've done everything I can and won't do anything else". Then, stop trying to make them happy. I think the more you try to please them, them more their going to act like this. I'm sorry their putting you through all this, that's really crappy of them.

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: I am beyond pissed!
Posted: Jul 22, 2009 11:45 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

Good lord. That's flippin' ridiculous. My MOH told me that it was my wedding and if I asked her to wear a burlap sack, that was what she'd wear. My other bridesmaid's liked the dress I picked. I picked a black dress from David's, asked them to TRY it on and if they didn't like it, they were welcome to get any other dress they wanted. The stipulations: black, flowy, and between knee and tea length. None have bought the one I picked, but they have gone with black, flowy and between knee and tea. (Of course, since I picked it, David's increased the price of the dress and I wouldn't have picked it at the higher price)


They need to just grow up, put on their big girl panties, and stick on the dress. Mayhap you need to have a "27 Dresses" viewing with these girls!


Misty

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