problems having our first time

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 3:34 PM Go to message in response to: Lilmisssouthern...

I agree with DPN but maybe you should try putting it in the wrong hole, maybe there will be LESS pain?

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 4:08 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

Ya know, that is a good suggestion - perhaps you are putting it in the wrong hole or at the wrong angle/position? The guy I dated in high school had no clue there were multiple "down there"

I know with DH, there's times where he gets in a hurry and starts pushing in and it's like "Uh, hon that's not the right spot!" or he gets it in and the angle he put it in at just hurts too much or isn't comfortable. Or maybe it's the position - I'll admit, we've tried a few positions where the angle it went in at was just not comfortable at all for me. Her having no prior knowledge of this and not being very informed of her body, she might not realize that or know to tell you that.

Just a suggestion - make sure you're putting it in the right hole and if you are, try putting it in at different angles/positions. That could make all the difference.

A few other ladies on here gave you some good advice earlier, in addition to Jream's post.

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iloveaiden Posts : 49 Registered: 5/27/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 4:39 PM Go to message in response to: TheNewMrsJ

God + sexual advice thread = awesome.

if you can insert, just let her be on top and sit on it for a while and let her vagina stretch out. thats my suggestion. and make sure its not in the poop hole.


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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 4:52 PM Go to message in response to: iloveaiden

and make sure it's not the poop hole

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 6:28 PM Go to message in response to: Logikos

This is Kelley, not Misterkelley, sorry. DH forgot to sign out and I dont know how to get rid of the post now that I did it....grrrr...

I love how this guy claims he isnt pushing his religion on anyone, yet he told someone to go see a "Bible following counselor" (on another thread), mentioned his porn addiction and being "Saved" like threedly times for no real reason, AND his profile pic is a CLEAR advertisement for the Lord!!! Helloooo???

Whatever. I tried to help this dude, but I had a feeling it would go nowhere since post one. In one ear and out the other, and now hes gone. I just hope his wife DOES read all of this because there is some good advice here, and I think Jreams post was right on the money.


And seriously, why is it that noone can SPELL lately on here? I mean CMON. The last few noobs that have come onto this site seem to have the worst grammer and spelling Ive ever seen. Jeez dude - put down the Bible and go back to English class. And thats not me mocking you - its just me telling you that when you sound and come across like you are uneducated, even on a message board, that is the impression we will all have of you. Just know that.


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P.S. THIS ISNT MISTERKELLEY, ITS KELLEy.... Grrrr... my dh forgot to sign out....


Edited by: MisterKelley on Jun 18, 2009 6:29 PM

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,165 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 10:59 PM Go to message in response to: Logikos

I agree to try different angles. If she's comfortable with you feeling around in there with your finger then you can tell how her vagina curves. It makes it easier to know how you have to approach her. I would also like to clear up that first time sex doesn't hurt every woman. I was always into sports so I'm sure I didn't have my protective virgin cover when it finally happened. Most of it is mental.

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allisonfoster2B Posts : 65 Registered: 5/9/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 11:52 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

First off i am NOT PREACHING!! ok...i am a christian, and i watch porn, and i feel that it is a womand body, and she can do as she feels right (abortion).

I've been reading this thread for a little bit now, and wow...OP you do make your self sound controlling. I understand that your wife is 'shy' but it's her body. It's nice that you are trying to help, but ultimately let her do as she wants.

I agree with another poster, try the wipes.(sorry i forgot your name) :) She is washing herself raw!!! It is good to keep it clean down in that area, but their is such a thing a too clean. And i think she has reached it.

OP(original poster):As for you...wow you do need to stop the preaching!! Telling people to go pick up a bible is not the thing to do. You are hearing this from another christian!!!!! I may not be as 'pure', but i do belive. And i belive religion should of never been brough up in the discussion, it has no place. You are the kind of person that people do not like to be around...for the simple reason that you are pushing your religion on them. STOP!


AllisonWink

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Tofu Posts : 66 Registered: 4/2/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 11:54 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Just 2 things from me:
(1) I know of a girl who had such a small hole it was painful to have sex. I believe she looked into surgery at one point. I obviously have no idea if that is your situation, I'm just throwing another idea out there.

(2) Why does everyone go into attack mode so easily on these boards?
Many of you who criticize so called uneducated people are doing so with poor grammar yourselves (I notice those missing apostrophes!) Whether it is about spelling, religion, whatever, there is always this detour into bashing someone and "reading between the lines." I usually think of this as a supportive community filled with different viewpoints. There is no need to attack when it is completely uncalled for... A different perspective is not usually meant to offend anyone. Let's all just chillax a little!

Cool

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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 20, 2009 2:53 PM Go to message in response to: Tofu

Tofu, in this case I think that some of us went into attack mode because the OP was basically thinking about raping his wife. If you read his first post he says something about how he could FORCE her, but then maybe she wouldn't want to do it again. Ya think?!?!?!?! Married or not, forcing someone to have sex is still rape. I'm sorry but you can't be all "Jesus jesus bible bible bible" and then go rape your wife. Doesn't work. And he wants her to talk to his Pastor's wife because a doctor is expensive? There are options out there. Planned Parenthood is not just about abortions. They don't counsel women to get abortions, they simply give them the option of having a procedure done that is legal in this country. It's not like you walk through the door and they say, "Hello, may I talk you into an abortion today?" If you're not willing to do something that will actually help your wife, then WTH do you want from a message board of strangers?

 

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 20, 2009 3:23 PM Go to message in response to: Tofu

Tofu no one ever goes out of their way to attack or bash anyone. If you have been around any time at all you will see that most attacks as you call them stem from other areas. Most of the regulars if they do attack is based on a relationship with the poster being attacked. As you can see two people have attempted to explain to you what is going on and not attacking you.

Most of us have a reason for how we are. Try going back and reading other post

 

 

 

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Bride2beinJuly Posts : 1 Registered: 6/26/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 26, 2009 7:44 PM Go to message in response to: Logikos

Try this link:

http://www.vaginismus.com/

It sounds like what you are talking about.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jun 27, 2009 7:49 PM Go to message in response to: Bride2beinJuly

We are not attacking anyone Tofu. We are simply letting this guy know that trying to act as the spokesperson for his wife's VAG is inappropriate and wrong. That is all.

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Jream Posts : 157 Registered: 7/29/08
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jul 1, 2009 11:17 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Man. I wish this thread would die already.

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FutureMrsDJLeo Posts : 615 Registered: 2/26/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jul 2, 2009 1:37 AM Go to message in response to: Jream

One thing I don't get...she's a married woman, old enough, mature enough, ready for marriage, but can't even do research on vaginas?!?!??! Her husband doesn't need to be doing that kind of research for her!

And LMAO about the wrong hole comment!

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Hayrides Posts : 3 Registered: 7/2/09
Re: problems having our first time
Posted: Jul 2, 2009 2:43 AM Go to message in response to: Logikos

My girl friend used to tell me her first time sex experience... she and her boyfriend spent like a few months to overcome that... so no need to worry, everything will be fine, plus after that difficult phase, both of them found lots of fun in it...

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