To Elope or Not to Elope?

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goldfinger1018 Posts : 1 Registered: 6/2/08
To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 9, 2009 8:37 PM

Hi you all,

I have been engaged for a couple of weeks now and am starting the whole planning process. I wasn't sure what I wanted at first, but I've been warming up to the idea of having my wedding here in my hometown. My parents (especially my mom) are excited and want to help with the planning and financially. But every time I try to talk to my fiance about the plans, we end up fighting. It seems he now is really wanting to elope. I feel like I'm in a tough spot because on the one hand, I am a girl and totally want the big wedding here. On the other hand, I don't want to fight with him and we could travel somewhere cool. I really don't know what to do, so any advice that anyone can give me would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!


CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 9, 2009 9:20 PM Go to message in response to: goldfinger1018

It sounds to me that you want to actually have a wedding. So if you decide to elope you may regret not having the wedding that you always dreamed of. Tell your fiance how you feel. Maybe he doesn't want to have a big wedding. Maybe all the planning and the attention scares him. You could have a small wedding in your home town and that way you both will be happy.


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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 9, 2009 9:35 PM Go to message in response to: goldfinger1018

Welcome to the boards. You and your FH need to sit down and discuss what type of wedding you want and why. The why is important. If he wants to elope and it turns out its because he thinks it will be less expensive then you might be able to agree to have a wedding that is less expensive. If he wants to elope because he likes to travel then you could discuss the possible honeymoon after wedding. By discussing what you want and why you want it, it should be much easier to come to a compromise. Compromise. Now that a word you will hear a lot when you are married. lol. Think of it as good practice.


HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 9, 2009 9:39 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Agree with Cheetah. You may really regret eloping if that's not what you've envisioned. Maybe if you give us more info on why/how you end up in wedding fights with your fiance we may be able to give advice on that. I'm pretty certain your fiance hasn't been "envisioning" elopement all this time so if there are ways you can make the process easier on him you may still be able to have the wedding you want.

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CoutureBride27 Posts : 130 Registered: 5/5/09
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 10, 2009 7:41 AM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Hi, you've haven't really stated why you're fighting. It just depends on what the problem is, if it's financially or just difference in taste. Getting married may add a bit of tension and stress on your relationship, however, I feel that it's not always necessary to run away from these troubles. So instead of eloping, why not chat about what the problem is really about, learn to compromise now as it will come in good use in the long run. Seeing that you're a girls-girl, and most people dream of having a proper wedding, you won't want to turn around in a couple of years and regret not having had a wedding, even if it is something small.

Cherish all your happy moments:  they make a fine cushion for old age.

**Christopher Morley**


Hisfiancee Posts : 3 Registered: 6/16/09
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 16, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: goldfinger1018

I'm in a similar boat where my fiance is very shy and hates attention, so a wedding (even a small one) is not his ideal. We are leaning more towards eloping and I doubt I would regret it.

If you definitely want the wedding try to compromise with him somehow. Maybe have a family-only ceremony and a reception for everyone or you can elope to somewhere beautiful and have a big party when you get back.

Life is good...Cool


Moxiebaby Posts : 24 Registered: 6/18/09
Re: To Elope or Not to Elope?
Posted: Jun 18, 2009 7:09 PM Go to message in response to: goldfinger1018

Why not have the best of both worlds?
My fiance are have a simple court house wedding, then going away for 10 days on our honeymoon. When we get back we're having a huge party, in a place 3 blocks from our apartment.
I feel like we've got it all covered in that arrangement. It was born out of the fact that we wanted a destination wedding, but my fiance has a lot of elderly relatives who would not have been able to make the trip.

on a side note, my dad always said that I elope, he'll provide the ladder to climb down from the bedroom window with.


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