I dont think I should give this ring back...........

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Priv8joy Posts : 2 Registered: 6/3/09
I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 4:57 PM

Hello Ladies,

I need some impartial opinions. I finally received a ring from this man after almost 6 years. I've been wearing it for almost 2 months. He sent me an email, telling me that he cant afford to make the next payment on it, so he wants to return it. Now, my mother raised a child who is everything except a fool and I dont want to be mean, but the land below this Earth will freeze over, thaw and refreeze before I give this up.

Let me give you some background. I met this man and in the course of 5 1/2 years, he has lied, cheated, disrespected me and finally gave me the 4 cttw ring that I picked out because miraculously he claims he loves me after putting me through heck. Sure, I could have left a long time ago and should have, but after a few years went by, my time was something I couldnt get back and in my view, walking out would have just been a waste of my precious years. Anyhow, the reason I believe I got the ring--even though I told him in January, he was merely someone I was going to date along with everyone and we have no exclusiveness nor commitment because my goal is to find a man just for me, was because he saw my lips wrapped around another man and realized I wasnt just talking, I was serious. Two days after seeing me with another man, all of a sudden he was telling me he had an engagement ring. He ran out and bought anything because when he sent me the pictures of it, I would not have worn that ring. It didnt fit my personal tastes or my style. To make a long story short, I took him to the jeweler, showed him the ring I wanted and I guess he opened a charge account to get the ring. Oh, forgot to mention, he was laid off the end of January, he saw me with this other man on February 5th, and purchased the ring I have on my finger February 28th. So, he didnt have a job before he decided to start buying these rings and I told him January 1st that I wasnt interested in wasting anymore of my time on him. Oh---before you ask--no, he did not propose to me. He dropped the ring off at the jeweler to have it sized because after all this time, he didnt know my ring size. I went to the jeweler, the ring was the right size already and the jeweler put it on my finger and I walked out of the store. I believe that makes this merely a gift, which is in my possession and he shouldnt have given me something that he hadnt paid for.

So my question is who thinks I should return it? If you think that, why? Keep in mind, although I ended up with the ring, along the way when he was lying & cheating, he told the other woman his marriage plans for her/their life, they went on a trip to the Bahamas (which I dont care because the Caribbean doesnt excite me---I travel to more exciting places, but the gesture would have) was rude to me, etc., etc. and came running back to me because the grass on the other side turned out to be burnt and not greener. I personally think the misfortune he is having right now is just him reaping those horrible seeds that he chose to sow.

My plans for the ring: sell it to go towards my new house down payment fund.

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:18 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

Ummm....what???
Nothing about this story makes ANY sort of sense.
Is it just me??? I dont even know how to respond, because there is sooo much "Huh???" going on in this bizarre post.

Ill just say this: No, you should never have remained with this man in the first place. He never should have bought you any ring at all ever since you have no commitment to each other. And yes, you should give it back.

This is the weirdest story I have ever heard.

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Edited by: kelleyiskelley on Jun 5, 2009 5:21 PM

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:25 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

OK this is just the weirdest flipping post....

Why do you want his ring if all you can do is harp on how he lied and cheated on you?

I'd throw the damn thing back in his face.

(besides, I'd rather not have someone come and bodily remove the ring from my hand.)

 

 

 

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:27 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

Woah. . .drama, drama, everywhere!



Sounds to me like the ring was a gift. You get to keep gifts. So keep it.

But it also sounds to me like this is just a lot of drama and holding on to it is another way of staying involved with him which sounds incredibly stupid, so I say give the ring back so you and he can just get out of eachothers' lives already.

If you to were actually breaking a real engagement, one where you planned to spend your lives togeter and were planning a wedding and a marriage, I'd spend more time on this. But that doesn't seem to be the case, so you can do whatever you want.

__________________________________________

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ninkwink Posts : 17 Registered: 5/11/09
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:28 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

My advice is to go ahead and give the ring back and either cut all ties with him or seek counseling. All relationships have some disfunctional ways but OMG. This relationship has got a lot going on. I know you say you don't want to feel as if you've wasted five years of your life but from everything in our lives we learn a lesson. Situations make us stronger or add to who we are.

If this man makes you miserable most of the time and he doesn't show you with his actions that he loves you, he may not be the man for you. I know not every situation is black and white but if you truly want to stay with him you all seriously need some pre-marital couseling to try and mend this relationship. So much hurting has gone on. You've been hurt so much and it seems since you were caught kissing the other man that you hurt him, too. Do you plan on spending the rest of your life with this fellow? Can you picture yourself waking up beside him every morning and sharing your life with him or do you think this will be merely a partnership in which you share a home and not your hearts?

God bless you! I pray you make the decision that works out best for you.

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Bally Posts : 355 Registered: 9/25/08
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

Well to be honest I think you two sound perfect for each other! You both sound like complete and utter wankers.
 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

LOL I love you Bally!:)

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See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

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CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE CARIBBEAN DOESN'T EXCITE YOU???? I'M OFFENDED BY THAT STATEMENT!!! LMAO



Ok, so I see your point in that it was a gift and you don't have to give gifts back. I myself gave a "gift" to my ex and regret all 30k of it. I certainly couldn't get it back when we broke up but I tried.

Anyway, I guess if you can live with yourself and the fact that you'll be bankrupting this person, then sure, go ahead and keep it. If it were me, I could not with good conscience, keep it... no matter how badly the person treated me.


My vote is that you be the bigger person, give it back, and stop playing mind games with each other.






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Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 6:00 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

So let me get this straight....you said yes to a man who lied, cheated, disrespected you...blah blah blah. He realized that he made a mistake and went to get you a ring, knowing he didnt have a way to pay for it and all you can think of is selling it?!?! that sounds like something a complete and total coniving bit*h would do. The poor guy doesnt have a job, buys you your dream ring and you want to sell it?! lmao. oh the drama... That is such and effed up thing to do. So what if he didnt pick a ring that isnt your personality...my guy picked an awful ring that was totally not my style, doesnt mean he doesnt know me, just means he doesnt have good taste in rings..i showed him some things i liked and in return he came up with a custom ring that mixes both of our personalities , which to me is even more perfect then the one i orginally picked. You need to GROW up, and stop thinking about yourself for once.
If he lied, cheated, did whatever, your an idiot for saying yes in the first place, but something tells me you only said yes to the ring, not the committment behind it. Shame on you.

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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 6:02 PM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

And to add to what Caribbean said, if you give the ring back you get the added bonus of being able to cut all ties with this guy.

So you've wasted a bunch of time on this guy. Why would you want to waste any more just because of the time you've already invested? He doesn't sound worth keeping AT ALL and he apparently doesn't love you from the way he's been treating you. Cut your losses now and get yourself into counseling.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 6:03 PM Go to message in response to: Bally

Dear BCB,

"Well to be honest I think you two sound perfect for each other! You both sound like complete and utter wankers."

You Irish have such a way with the language. I was searching for just the right mot juste, and then I saw your note.

I can't top "wankers".

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 6:17 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

this is such a mess. the least of the problems is who keeps the ring! but if you are believing in karma, your post made it seem so, i would watch out! you know how the sayings go...two wrongs don't make a right and what goes around comes around.

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brownegirl Posts : 523 Registered: 10/14/08
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 6:25 PM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Why on Earth would you want a token from such an idiot? Furthermore, why do you want to keep something that is likely to be reposessed in some god awful, embarassing manner at the worst possible time?

Save yourself the stress and give it back. I know that you feel it is yours but it isn't. It belongs to the bank or the credit card company.

Best of luck.
That which does not kill us, only makes us stronger. Innocent

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aelrod Posts : 92 Registered: 12/5/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 5, 2009 11:27 PM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

So, let me get this straight: You basically broke up with the guy but thought it was neccessary to accept his 4ct rock? To pay for your house? Wow, nice down payment.

Gold Digger.

Patiently awaiting the summer of 2011.

 

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Nny Posts : 10 Registered: 12/27/07
Re: I dont think I should give this ring back...........
Posted: Jun 6, 2009 2:16 AM Go to message in response to: Priv8joy

This is what is wrong with America. People don't respect marriage anymore. You basically are willing to marry someone who has treated you poorly because you don't want to "waste your time." WTF! What happened to actually caring for someone. You seem very materialistic and if you want to bankrupt this man (I'm not being sympathetic for him, he did cheat, and lie) then go ahead. If your not willing to be an adult and do what is right, then please, please, I beg you...don't reproduce.

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