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You make me look bad!

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
You make me look bad!
Posted: May 31, 2009 12:55 PM

This is not a story about me. However, it gave me some veeeeeery interesting insight to what the heck is wrong with some women out there.

Last night, DH and I went out with some of his co-workers. We met up with them late after the Magic Bball game. Of course, they were a bit alcoholically happy by the time we met up with them. You know people always are more chatty and loose after drinks. This one co-worker who I will call "Amy" kept texting on her phone saying that her boyfriend I will call "Fred" was going to be late. I asked DH who was Fred. He gave me the 'shut the heck up be careful' eyes and said "You remember Fred. He used to work with us." My mind is going 900 mph. Fred? THAT Fred? Married with children FRED? I smiled, followed DH's non verbal instructions, and said "Awesome. We haven't seen him in forever."

Now, I have to give you background people info. Amy is 20 years old. From what I can see, Amy has daddy issues. Her dad is a doctor who's always been very busy and never paid much attention to her. She's had some loser boyfriends. She has low self-esteem despite being totally beautiul. Think Natalie Imbruglia features. She's hit on all the time by really nice guys, yet she always turns them down.

Fred is 35. Fred was in management at DH's job. Fred was fired from DH's job for improper conduct with subordinate employees. Fred and his wife have two kids under 5 years old. Fred started hanging out with employees (which is fine at DH's job within reason). Fred started staying out later and later. His wife was never with them because she had the kids to attend to at home. Then Fred just started not coming home every now and again.

So, I endure the rest of the evening hanging out with Fred and Amy holding hands and playing kissy face. I also took notice of one other interesting action. Fred is now a manager at another restaurant. Fred makes a GREAT salary. When Fred said he was going to the bar to get a drink, Amy got $20 from her wallet and gave it to him.

Fast forward to the car conversation DH and I had afterwards.
me- what the heck was that?
DH- Yeah. I really didn't want to tell you about that one. When you told me about a "co-worker" found her husband cheating with an employee, I actually thought you were talking about Fred and Amy.
Me- No. Didn't see that one coming. Isn't he married? Doesn't he have kids? What the heck?
DH- Yes. He's still married. He lives in-between Amy's house and with his wife.
ME- lots of four letter words and frustrated sounds Are you f'ing serious? more four letter words Give me a week with both of those women. They make all wives and girlfriends look bad. Holy shit, DH! Dude, imagine if you were her target. Imagine if I wasn't sure you would screw her. That could be me in that situation. Stupid child! WTF is wrong with her!? How can you be OK with screwing a man almost twice your age who's MARRIED?

Basically, I think the wife is stupid for letting him continue to live there, regardless of whether "it's for the kids" or not. I think that Amy needs to be beat. Sure, you go out. He flirts. You flirt. Anyone should have the brain and morale to not sleep with a married man who's your boss. Both of them need a "Real Woman Bootcamp", and I'm more than ready to grab a few of the brides.com ladies and tour America to whip these idiots into shape. I think people make WAAAAAAAAAY too many excuses for cheating and low self confidence. Stop having a freaking pity party and DO something about it. Seriously.

I really wanted to get that off my chest. I can't really respect these people anymore, but I'm not going to be a bitch to them or try to save the world. It was just a bizarre situation to be exposed to given that I know he's married and still living with his wife.

Thoughts? Is it an age thing that she's inexperienced or low self esteem? In my mind, that's the only thing that makes sense. However, I can't wrap my brain around it to where it makes logical sense.


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rubyred1 Posts : 970 Registered: 8/9/07
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: May 31, 2009 1:58 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I'm assuming Amy knows Fred is married? I am with you, I don't get cheating. DH is stationed on a ship, and everyone always asks him if he thinks I'm cheating on him. It pisses me off, because it seems like they expect me to be cheating on him. If my DH didn't come home at night, I would freak out. Where's Fred's wife in all of this? She has to know there is something going on if her hubby isn't coming home half the time. I'm down for kicking some butts if you need help!

april_2009 , southern_california
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myra Posts : 5,555 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: May 31, 2009 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

The one thing that I can't stand doing is playing 'let's pretend" in social situations. "Let's pretend" that Amy doesn't know anything about Fred's life, that Fred isn't stepping out on his wife and kids, and that Amy and Fred are not sucking face in everyone's presence. Let's pretend that it's all OK and everyone is not absolutely repelled by the sight of the two of them. Hey, maybe everyone really does think it's OK--but obviously, it didn't make your evening any fun. If I were in that situation, I would get very "tired," very suddenly, and leave.

Believe me, I've been there. In fact, my husband and I were just talking about this last night. One couple among our friends have a horrible relationship. He is emotionally abusive, can disappear for weeks at a time without telling her where he is, can decide not to talk to her for six weeks at a time for no apparent reason. We were with them a couple of weeks ago and, if we were outsiders, swear that we would never know that the relationship was like this. they have a great act going. I see and talk to her as a good friend, but we've decided that couple-to-couple contact will be limited to once or twice a year, because we just can't stand the games.
myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: May 31, 2009 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: myra

Ruby- Yes, Amy knows Fred is married. She's very aware of the home situation and just fine with it. His wife is also very aware of Amy. Amy and Fred were out partying one evening when all the windows in Amy's car were busted out. Nothing was stolen. Fred's wife says she was home with the kids. However, I (as a woman) know she did it. Come on. You're 35 staying home raising this man's kids while he's out hooking up with a 20 year old who's super hot....I'd probably bust out the windows too.

Myra, I think that's the my biggest problem with it. I don't like "Let's Pretend" either. That's terrible your friends have such a poor relationship in private. I couldn't sleep at night living that way.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: May 31, 2009 7:43 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

Mush - I have a problem with ALL of the people involved. He's a dog. But his wife is also at fault for allowing it to continue and not getting rid of his ass. And Amy, well, I have issues with her actions too.

Ugh. I definitely would do whatever I had to do to avoid hanging out with them.

 

 

 

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2009ToBeMrsV Posts : 257 Registered: 12/30/07
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 1:34 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

I agree, that's a REALLY screwy situation I'd be avoiding like the plague. Talk about awkward!

I definitely think Amy's age and self esteem has a lot to do with why she is with this guy, I also think this guy is a total slime ball for getting involved with a 20 yr old while his wife is at home caring for "their" children. Just sick! The wife needs to grow some and kick his ass to the curb!

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northern_california , september_2009
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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 10:44 AM Go to message in response to: 2009ToBeMrsV

That's what I say. That's why we need to start one of those touring promotional speaker deals.

They just had one here in Orlando for women a couple of months ago. It was about how to find a job and be assertive in a man's workplace. Mind you these are UNEMPLOYED women that they were targeting for this 3 hour seminar. It was $150 a head and SOLD out.

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DoesntPlayNice Posts : 809 Registered: 12/17/08
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 11:18 AM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

That sucks. I hate women like this! I slept with a married guy once and I felt horrible. In my defense I didn't know he was married...he didn't have on a ring or anything. He went to take a shower after and I am ms. snoopy and looked in his wallet and there proudly displayed was a picture of his wife AND KIDS! I felt like a complete scumbag homewrecker!

You are better than me because in this situation I probably would have been making evil stabs at the two of them all night. LOL

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may_2009 , texas
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His4life Posts : 117 Registered: 4/7/09
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 12:51 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

That really is terrible.... very selfish of both people involved. I wouldn't blame the wife though, I'm sure that she loves her husband and is in a situation that she doesn't know how to deal with, or maybe she doesn't have a good support system for leaving... Either way.... I dont think there should be any negative comments directed towards his wife.

Does this other girl happen to be a gold digger? The two types of women that I hate are gold diggers and home wreckers....evil evil women.

mexican_caribbean , october_2009
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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,462 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 1:18 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

I dont' blame the wife from the get go but at this point I wouldn't have a lot of sympathy for her either. She's helping him perpetuate the situation. He's getting his cake and eating it too.

Hell, my Dad wasn't seeing another woman, but my Mom was in a BAD situation with him. Over 25 years - when women didn't do anything their husband didn't want them to do - and she took my brother and I and moved us out of the house SHE bought so we would be in a better situation.

So, while I don't blame the wife for creating the mess, I do hold her somewhat responsible for allowing it to continue.

 

 

 

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ChelsRae85 Posts : 371 Registered: 5/16/09
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 1:38 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I hate women like this. I get so sick of the "women are too weak and can't stand up for themselves" attitude--and women like the wife in this case are EXACTLY what perpetrate that stereotype. Then when women actually do stand up for themselves, they're called bitches, which I don't doubt will happen to the woman in this if she actually does kick this loser to the curb.

may_2011 , ohio
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Mushaboo Posts : 2,166 Registered: 3/22/08
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 9:15 PM Go to message in response to: His4life

No, the other woman was buying HIS drinks at the bar. He's getting EVERYTHING. His wife and the other woman both need to stand up for themselves.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a stand up woman aka bitch.

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LilMrsSunshine Posts : 195 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 9:38 PM Go to message in response to: Mushaboo

I totally agree with Mush!! I will be a bitch anyday before I let anyone walk all over me and treat me like trash.

Women like AMy drive me crazy. She probably has some warped idea in her mind that He's going to leave his wife and they will live happily ever after!! Unfortunately if he cheated on his wife to be with Hey He will definitely cheat on her when the next young thing walks by!!

 

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Just Married 4-4-09

april_2009 , houston
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April2010Bride Posts : 134 Registered: 4/26/09
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 10:03 PM Go to message in response to: LilMrsSunshine

I agree, Li'lMrs. Why, though, in hell would anyone want to be with a married person that cheated on their spouse with you??? I cannot fathom the idea! I mean, does Amy think that she is so much better than Fred's wife that she will be able to keep him from straying?!? Psh! I hate bitches like Amy. The worst part about these idiots is that when they "win" him, over the wife, and get cheated on, they're in utter disbelief. My co-worker has been dating her married employee for over 8 months, now. Last week, he told her he was leaving his wife so they could get married. The dumb ass is SO ecstatic that she can't think straight. Women like that deserve to be single, forever.

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april_2010 , april_2009 , south_carolina , houston
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rubyred1 Posts : 970 Registered: 8/9/07
Re: You make me look bad!
Posted: Jun 1, 2009 10:54 PM Go to message in response to: April2010Bride

I would have done more than bust her windows out, I would be in jail. I would bet money that Fred has told and keeps telling Amy that he's divorcing his wife for her. It seems to be a trend, and she's probably stupid enough to believe it. Fred's wife definitely needs to grow a pair and kick his sorry ass to the curb though. I agree with a PP Mush, I would not have been able to keep my mouth shut and Amy would have gotten a serious piece of my mind, as would Fred. What a dirtbag.

april_2010 , april_2009 , south_carolina , houston , southern_california
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