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HELP! Bad choice of MOH??

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ArtBride Posts : 4,841 Registered: 5/9/07
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 19, 2009 7:45 PM Go to message in response to: Ellle

i dont know if you really read my entire post becuase i said that my
very best friend lives across the country and it would have been
difficult to have her be my MOH.

Why? Why does a MOH have to live near you? I was under the impression that she just needed to stand next to you on the wedding day, and perhaps sign the marriage license. If she wants to plan a shower or BP, great. If not, no big deal. They're not necessary and there's no reason someone else can't plan them.

My MOH was my then 15-year old sister, and I wouldn't have it any other way. She will always be the closest woman in my life, so she deserved the job. Given that she lives pretty far away from me and was only 15, two of my older friends offered to throw me a shower locally, which was awesome. My other BMs (friends my age) threw my BP, which was a night with the girls. We had a great time, but I honestly would have been fine without having one. (Oh, and by the way, one of my BMs was flying in from NY for the BP and we had the opportunity to spend the afternoon together. She was VERY excited about taking me to a 'paint your own pottery' place, which wasn't quite my idea of a good time, but I sucked it up and put a smile on my face, since she had gone to the trouble of coming up with a nice way of spending time together and giving me something nice. She painted me a cute serving plate that I treasure, even though I threw away the thing that I made. I'm still not exactly sure what I was going for on that one!)

Anyway, back to the issue at hand. I just re-read my earlier post, and I didn't explicity say that I thought you were expecting too much, though I hinted at it when I advised you to take your MOH's budget into consideration. Now I'll say it explicitly: I also think you're expecting a little too much from your MOH. She's obviously worried about the cost of this party, so even if you're willing to chip in, what if she can't afford a cruise? Would you go without your MOH, who is supposed to be hosting the event? You can't FORCE her to spend her money on a cruise for your BP, and it's unfair of you to expect her to start saving. If she's hosting the event, she determines the budget. You can certainly take a cruise with your other BMs, if they're willing and able to pay for it, but you can't force your MOH to spend more than she wants to. I'll say this plainly: I wouldn't take a cruise for a friend's BP. Sorry, but I just wouldn't want to spend that kind of money on a friend's BP. Or take time off.

My advice is to talk to her and tell her what you want to do, but be considerate about her budget. For whatever reasons (be it that she can't afford more or doesn't want to spend more), she has set a budget for being in your wedding, and you should respect that. If your cruise idea doesn't work for her budget, but she still wants to throw you a party, consider other ideas, such as a night on the town with the girls.

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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , october_2010
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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 19, 2009 7:58 PM Go to message in response to: ArtBride

I would love for my BP to be in Iceland.  They have great spas, hot springs and an amazing night life.  Unfortunately I live in reality.  Stupid reality.  My MOH and BM are far from rich, but even if they where I would never ask them to shell out serious dollars for a party.  Think about how much it cost to be a BM even if the BP was free.  Between the dress, the shoes, the present.... Arn't they shelling out enough as it is? I know my girls will want to throw me a BP and as long as it's not something that makes me uncomfortable (no body shots off of male strippers for me) I'll be happy with what ever they do. I mean seriously, it's the thought that counts. 

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washington_dc , october_2010 , maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey
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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 20, 2009 11:59 AM Go to message in response to: starfish701

Iceland LOL. Heh heh.....That was funny.

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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010
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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I think I made a poor choice of MOH as well. You guys are NOT going to believe what she is pulling. My wedding is in less than 3 months. Yet she had the NERVE to get engaged on friday. OK, so maybe she couldn't help that her FH decided to propose then, but she COULD have told him no and asked him to ask her again in a few months. So now she's going to be planning her own wedding when she should be concentrating on mine!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. And I just know that they'll get married next summer, less than a year after my wedding. Can you believe it?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Oh, and get this one...she is attending a wedding a week before mine. Not only that, but she is singing at it. Hello...she should be on full vocal rest since she's supposed to sing at mine the next week. What if she strains her voice? I still can't believe she's doing this to me. She's supposed to be my best friend. What do you guys think, could I ask her to step down?

 

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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 2:27 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

OMG what a B!tch!!!! How can she do that to you? You should make her take her ring off at your wedding and uninvited her fiance. Actually anyone who is engaged or married should have to take thier ring off. Next your going to tell me she has the nerve to not take you to the Bahamas for your BP. I hope my MOH turns out better than yours. Yikes!
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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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ToyToy09 Posts : 224 Registered: 6/3/09
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 2:36 PM Go to message in response to: starfish701

This is definitely a place for women. CAT-ty, CAT-ty, CAT-ty ...but I kinda like it.

To the original poster, help your girl out. I trust my MOH 100%, but I know what I like and what we can ALL afford, so I gave her some ideas that please me and everyone else's pockets. Its not gonna' be too much fun chillin' at the spa with the one other person who could afford it :) ...Don't sweat it, though. With your help, your stand-in MOH will do just fine and you will enjoy your bachelorette party. I don't know about you, but I sho' will! Good luck!

 

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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , may_2010 , october_2010 , new_york , kentucky , september_2009
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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 2:41 PM Go to message in response to: starfish701

I like that idea, Starfish. Everyone has to leave their engagement and wedding rings at home. Can I just put that on the invitation?

And as far as the BP, it's worse than her not taking me to the Bahamas...she hasn't even planned it yet!!!!!! And now with his whole "engagement" thing, she'll probably half-ass it. With my luck the stripper won't even be hot.

 

Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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Songbird1377 Posts : 4 Registered: 1/23/09
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 2:53 PM Go to message in response to: Ellle

So you are upset about a BP? Because it's not your prefered venue...seriously? And you're complaining because you don't get to go on a cruise? That's how I took this...It sounds to me like you're jealous that your FH is going to Vegas. It's offensive to me to hear someone complain about a gift or thought that someone is doing for you out of kindness or their love for you as a friend. If you don't want to go to the horse place tell her that's not really your thing but don't expect someone to take you on a cruise, especially since they are going to be spending all kinds of money on their dresses and they will have to give you gifts for your showers and give you a gift at your wedding to...I think a lot of brides get caught up in their planning and don't realize that their friends and family are shelling out a lot of cash for them. You are definitely expecting way too much from your MOH.

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , october_2010 , new_york
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Songbird1377 Posts : 4 Registered: 1/23/09
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 3:00 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Well Heidi,

If that's the way you feel about it I will call and cancel the stripper right now...Big Creepy was giving me a good deal on it too...and it is very obvious that you should completely cancel your wedding so you can concentrate on being one of my brides maids. I mean I need to have your undivided attention as I haven't even set a date yet and I may want to get married on Sept. 13th and I feel as though the only proper thing you can do is to move aside and let me have the day if I want it. God...and I picked out the most beautiful dresses for you to wear...they are a steal at $1,300.00 and they have this fantastic puce green color for the trim around the hoops on the bottom...come to think of it...I am definitely not going to have time any more to be your MOH and I'm probably going to have to charge you now for the singing as I'm going to be saving all the money I can for my own wedding...I'm sure you understand.

Love you...Tiff

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 3:04 PM Go to message in response to: Songbird1377

SEE!!!!!! This is what I have to put up with now. Cripes! Definitely need to find a new MOH.

 

Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,862 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 3:47 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Heidi I would cut my losses now. Who needs a MOH who has the nerve to get engaged before you get married.

Songbird I do like the color though I think a nice pea green would look lovely with that. Make sure you get the gown with the big shoulders and the puffy sleeves.

 

 

 

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Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

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new_york , september_2009 , maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , october_1997 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010
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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 4:00 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Thanks, Kennys. (sniff) It's nice to know I can count on my brides friends even when my (soon to be former) MOH is being such a beast. She would do well to remember that my wedding is first, and I'm known to hold grudges. ;)


Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , october_1997 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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starfish701 Posts : 465 Registered: 12/10/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 4:03 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I agree drop her like a bad habit. And yes green with puff sleeves and lots of bows!!!!
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maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , october_1997 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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Heidibride30 Posts : 1,201 Registered: 4/16/08
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 4:18 PM Go to message in response to: starfish701

OK, let's not encourage the puffed sleeves here, since I'm the one who has to wear them!!!!! Tiff, I love you but if you think you're getting me into a hoop skirt, you've got another thing coming!!!!!!

 

Proud member and S.C.A.T. of POOP - People Offended by Offended People

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , october_1997 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,593 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: HELP! Bad choice of MOH??
Posted: Jun 22, 2009 8:31 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Listen all of you - please dont ever give your opinions again, even though thats exactly what I asked for, your opinions.
Actually, do me a favor, please do not post on my threads in the future. Sniff sniff.

Love always, The Queen of Overreactions.

Check out the Wedding Planner Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com  

See our funny Wedding Wed-isode @ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OokYNI91ztU&NR=1

Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for standup comedy clips,sketches,and more @ www.youtube.com/kelleyfunnylady

 

Co-Founder and Proud Member of P.O.O.P - People Offended by Offended People.

"Children are just like adults, minus the crushing failure." - Stephen Colbert

  

maid_of_honor_troubles , october_2006 , october_1997 , june_2010 , southern_shore_new_jersey , washington_dc , october_2010 , new_york , september_2009
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