Had To Give Ring Back!!!

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BtownBride2010 Posts : 17 Registered: 2/22/09
Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 28, 2009 10:38 PM

So today i had to take my ring back to the store that we got the ring at and get full refund so we could pay my FH's truck bill so now i'm back to my promise ring. I was crying all day. Girls i did this because i love my FH.
So girls do you think i did the right thing???
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~ BtownBride2010 ~

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 12:06 AM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

Dear BB,

Yeah, you did the right thing. Doesn't mean it doesn't hurt like crazy, though.

Lots of people in this horrid economy are having to make similar sacrifices. I have heard of musicians having to sell instruments and other very sad stories. It's cold comfort, to know you are not alone.

I feel for you.

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 12:19 AM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

You absolutely did the right thing. Unfortunately, things are very difficult for everyone. I know that it's horribly disappointing, BUT sometimes we have to weigh things and decide what is the most important.

I imagine your FH is employed and needs his vehicle to remain so - or needs it to job hunt, etc.

I'm not remotely saying it's not difficult, but I absolutely think you did the right thing.

I hope that things turn around quickly for the two of you and you're able to move along with the wedding plans, including replacing the engagement ring if you so decide.

 

 

 

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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 9:34 AM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

Yes, and remember -- the ring doesn't make you engaged. The question and the answer do. And one of the common vows has something to do with for richer/for poorer -- and you're living that. So you did the right thing, and I bet he feels as bad that you had to do it (if not worse) than you do.

Misty

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 9:49 AM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

You absolutely did the right thing. I am sure you will miss your ring, but if you had kept it you probably would have been reminded that you couldn't afford it and really wouldn't have enjoyed it. Although I am sure it was a difficult thing to do the message that you are sending to your FH is "We are in this together. Our future is more important than a material possession". Although rings are a symbol of love, your rings have take on new symbolism, that of maturity, partnership and good common sense! Your decision really demonstrates that you are ready for marriage and not just a wedding. I am sure both of you will remember this for the rest of your lives and that it will bring you even closer.

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BrideJay Posts : 63 Registered: 3/3/09
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 11:49 AM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

Ugh, Btown... my heart aches for you. =(

You totally did the right thing. Giving up your ring for something more functional and more likely to bring stability in the long term shows admirable maturity and... more importantly... love for yourself and your FH.




 

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 1:11 PM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

Call me selfish but I wouldn't have given him my ring back




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CatStandish Posts : 2,766 Registered: 6/20/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 2:05 PM Go to message in response to: CheetahAngel

Well... I can't do it, so my response is purely hypothetical. My ring is custom made, and those are just not returnable. I'd like to think I would do it. I'm doing a yard sale this weekend, and the proceeds were supposed to be for the wedding fund. But really, the proceeds are going to FH (his job really sucks). We just got a letter from the IRS for his taxes. (And I must say, anything they have to say to you is never nice. Getting a letter from them is getting punched in the stomach -- and that is BEFORE you open it.) He has student loans that are in arrears -- and they took his entire refund. I'm not saying they were wrong for taking it, or he was right for not paying the loans. However, when he's waiting tables here, he is not even getting minimum wage -- and that is AFTER tips. So where is he supposed to get the money for that? So anyway.... I'm planning on giving him the proceeds. Why? He was planning on using his tax refund for a vasectomy. O(That does sort of benefit both of us.) (but we will NOT be filing jointly any time soon! -- I am not having them kype my refund too !)

But I have to give you credit for honesty, Cheetah!

Misty

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BrighterThanSun... Posts : 853 Registered: 10/17/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 8:42 PM Go to message in response to: CatStandish

Oh that must have been so hard!

But I also agree with the girls; it was the right thing to do.

I think Cat said it best in her first post--it's not the ring that makes you engaged it's the question and the answer.
Now your promise ring can hold a much more important meaning.

I'm impressed that you did that. I don't think a lot of people could give up their ring. It is a great symbol, but remember that, it is just a symbol. You two are still just as committed as you were before giving it away--maybe even more so now because you did something truly selfless for your FH.

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sweetpeas Posts : 31 Registered: 11/3/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 9:48 PM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

Same thing happened to me :( I feel your pain. My ring was on lay away though and only had less than $60 (out of a $2800 ring) left to pay and my boyfriend needed the money for car payments and his mom's medical bills.. So hard.

I'm sure things will work out for you guys though, maybe the store has a lay away plan to pay for it slowly so you can make sure he has the money for other bills.

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MrsWilliams2008 Posts : 1,431 Registered: 7/19/07
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 29, 2009 10:49 PM Go to message in response to: sweetpeas

Like a previous poster said: the question and answer is what makes you engaged. It's ok to cry and I know that had to be a TOUGH thing to do, but I (key word "I") don't think I could enjoy the ring knowing that my fiance's truck was on the line...and for something that is not his fault.

I truly hope things work out for the best. I wish you sincere luck and I hope this is the only rough patch you two have to endure.

                         Poster Formerly Known as beauti381

http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/RyAnne Stafford&RobertWilliams, Jr

                              Happily Married since June 21, 2008

                              Happy Together since June 20, 1994

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JJsWifey08 Posts : 272 Registered: 12/5/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 30, 2009 10:51 AM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

Im with cheetahangelI dont think I would have given it back. reason why is because if my ring was worth 2500 he could take it back and get another one with just half the money but since I had to do this before I have to say Im glad you did that!! Its hard but it doesnt mean youre not engaged
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tessandnate09 Posts : 136 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 30, 2009 11:21 AM Go to message in response to: JJsWifey08

That must have been a hard decision to make but wow, good for you for doing it. I agree with all the ladies here that it would be hard and honestly I would do it if we really needed the money but it would mean lots of tears and a little heartache. Not because of the ring itself but because of what it meant and the memories that came with it.

This definitely shows your maturity and commitment to each other (not that this HAD to happen to show that of course!) but tough times come and you are staying strong even though they can hurt.


Good for you and I hope that the heartache of losing your ring eases soon.



The day he becomes my husband and I become his wife...September 5th 2009

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 30, 2009 2:17 PM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

hopefully things will look up and in the future things will not be as tight financially. i respect you very much for your decision. i'm sorry this experience happened to you and i hope that there are many good surprises in your life that will out weight this one bad time.

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PrincessDee Posts : 58 Registered: 1/6/09
Re: Had To Give Ring Back!!!
Posted: Mar 30, 2009 6:39 PM Go to message in response to: BtownBride2010

I'm sorry. That must have been so hard for you. I would do that if it was necessary for FH and I. Depending on the circumstances, I do think you did the right thing. Some of it depends on things got to the point they are at. I'm guessing this was unavoidable and not the result of irresponsibility on the part of your FH? Assuming that is correct, I agree with your decision. I still think it sucks, though. I also agree with other ladies on here who have pointed out that you are still engaged, ring or no ring. I hope finances improve soon and the ring is back on your finger.

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