Am I here too soon?

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WaitingToBHis Posts : 28 Registered: 2/16/09
Am I here too soon?
Posted: Mar 8, 2009 4:52 PM

Well, I am new here and thinking that maybe I am here way too soon....my BF and I have been living together for a little over a year now. I have thought for a while that one day we would get married. He had fallen on hard times financially and that created a lot of stress on him and I kinda think that he thought I would not stand by his side (which is something the past women in his life never did). Well, long story short, he is working again (dont make a lot of money but that doesnt matter to me).....I was getting the feeling at one point that he wanted to ask me but knew he couldnt afford a ring right now but a ring don't matter to me anyway so I told him that. That was like a month ago and he hasnt brought up the subject of marriage since. I thought maybe I had misread his feelings about wanting to get married....which I am happy either way. (We are both in our late 30's btw and have both been married/divorced so both are kinda scared of marriage). Anyway, today....totally out of the blue....he said "if I did buy you a ring, how soon would you want to get married"? I said that I felt the date should be something that we both decided on but I would want to have time to plan/save up for the wedding that we wanted so probably at least a year. I feel like that, although I said the ring wasnt important, that he still thinks the proposal/ring should go hand in hand....anyway, am I here WAY too soon?? I just wanted others opinions on the subject.

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bunnybear05 Posts : 157 Registered: 1/7/09
Re: Am I here too soon?
Posted: Mar 8, 2009 6:51 PM Go to message in response to: WaitingToBHis

I don't think so. He is showing that he does have marriage on his mind. He probably has things set in his mind how things should go. Maybe he is a traditional guy who doesn't feel right proposing without a ring. I personally waited to do/look at any thing wedding related until he proposed. Mainly because I didn't want to jinx anything ( I am just nuts. I knock on wood all the time. You should have seen me when we were buying a house. I always said the possible closing date, we might be buying a house etc... cause I thought that if I said anything definately that I would be putting a hex on it or something. Like I said, I am just nuts)
There are plenty of women who are on these boards who haven't recieved a ring yet.
I think a year is a good time to wait for the wedding, people wait longer too. It gives enough time for planning. Besides, depending where you live it could be difficult finding venue availabilty any sooner.

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CheetahAngel Posts : 2,017 Registered: 11/29/08
Re: Am I here too soon?
Posted: Mar 9, 2009 7:50 AM Go to message in response to: WaitingToBHis

Well he DID mention marriage so no, I dont think you are here too soon. When I first started going out with my FH he also didnt have much money and I didnt care about that. I know that some girls are "gold diggers" but not me. I just cared about the love we have. So good for you on that :)
                              

 

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