US Air Force. = ]

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danillegrr Posts : 13 Registered: 2/1/09
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 11:20 PM Go to message in response to: stfballplayer7

My first husband and I were very happily married the 2 years he was in the service. We lived off post, as far as he was allowed to be. The building was full of other Americans, we were in Germany, and I made a ton of friends there. I'm sure it was much like housing. He was home and gone every other month. Just when we would start bickering he would leave. A week or so later he would get a chance to call and we would be missing each other terribly by then. While he was gone I had so much fun with the other military wives. His food moneys, whatever that was called, came whether he was there eating or not so I had extra money to spend going out with friends. All of our apartments would be trashed and we would all spend the day before they came home cleaning up for their return. I have never again had such great gal pals. On return day I left work early if I needed to. No matter what I was at the enlisted club waiting for him. Not all, but several other wives would be there too. None of us had cars and we all took the bus back home together. We always sat in the back row, holding hands, stupidly gazing into each others eyes, kissing, talking, and laughing. No one has ever been happier.

Then he got out. About 30 days later we started bickering. About 15 days after that I really needed him to go fishing for a weekend or something.The blissful state of that marriage was forever gone. He and I parted ways after 2 happy years and 9 years of hell.

sorry MK, I think all women should marry Military men. The base is full of hot guys to gaze upon, oodles of wives to goof off with, the best parties ever, cheaper shopping, some incredible women for the so inclined, chock full of goodness lifestyle. It was wife heaven for me.
"Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have peanut butter."  Bill Cosby

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 4, 2009 11:41 PM Go to message in response to: danillegrr

He and I parted ways after 2 happy years and 9 years of hell.

sorry MK, I think all women should marry Military men. The base is full
of hot guys to gaze upon, oodles of wives to goof off with, the best
parties ever, cheaper shopping, some incredible women for the so
inclined, chock full of goodness lifestyle. It was wife heaven for me.


SO if a woman wants eye candy and HELL they should marry a Military Man???

You have so screwed yourself around LORD KNOWS what with these statements.

flush flush


Flusher of POOP and Member

 

 

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danillegrr Posts : 13 Registered: 2/1/09
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 12:24 AM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Oh how silly....the reality to me here is that I had a great time with my husband even though he turned out to be not such a nice guy. I loved every minute of being a military wife. Please don't tell me a POOP member is offended by the fact that a middle aged woman came on here and said that not all women will terribly suffer by being a military wife, and that not only the mature and settled can handle it.

Hugs,
Danille
"Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have peanut butter."  Bill Cosby

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 12:26 AM Go to message in response to: danillegrr

I am so confused...

Lilypie Expecting a baby Ticker

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 8:00 AM Go to message in response to: danillegrr

From the above message I got that you were happy when your husband was gone and miserable when he was home. Isn't that the opposite of what a loving wife is supposed to feel for her husband. I was a soldiers wife and when my husband was gone I missed him. I couldn't wait for him to come home. I was so sad when he had to leave again.

I think if a women is going to be married to a military man she has to be stronger than the average woman because she is going to be in situations that the average woman will not have to face. I work around men everyday but my husband is home every night so I am not lonely or tempted. The wife of a military man might face the same temptations but her man is not home every night or for nights on end and if she is tempted by a guy she works with when she sees her man everyday and gave in to those temptations what will she do when her man is gone for weeks or months at a time?

As a former military member and as the former wife of a military man and also as the child of a military man I say it is not an easy position to be in and if you are not 100% committed you have no business doing it. I think if her FH is going to go in he should go in as a single man and allow him to concentrate on what he has to do first. Once he has finished his basic and his schooling then get married and get on with their lives. This way they both can decide if this is really the life for them.

If it were my daughter that is the advise I would give her. I have lived this life on all sides and it is not for everybody. I

I think the OP is still under the impression that they will be in this together and that is just not the case. They will be married yes, but they will not be together for a while. So she will be at home with all of her temptations and he will be away is that fair to either one of them?

OP just something else to think about.



Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P, People Offended by Offended People

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danillegrr Posts : 13 Registered: 2/1/09
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 11:27 AM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

I don't know how that got so misunderstood. Would someone really stay eleven years in a marriage without love? What I was tryng to say is that the Military gave us the best reunions every other month and he was never home long enough for us to have any real fights. It kept the marriage very new and exciting longer then it would have otherwise. He was an abusive piece of sh*t and somehow he was able to maintain his great guy image until we got home.

We were in our early 20's and it seemed that we lived in a world of 20 somethings.That isn't such a bad thing. When I had the most energy so did my peers. Getting to know people from all over the country was great. I could go on all day about everything I liked about it.

I would imagine that anyone who has been a military wife would have to admit that you make incredibly close friendships. I personally never saw it as a lonely life. I don't know of anyone who was cheating on their partner at the time, not that all would have chosen me as their confidante of course. I'm sure all of your experiences are valid, as is mine.

Danille
"Man cannot live by bread alone. He must have peanut butter."  Bill Cosby

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 11:42 AM Go to message in response to: danillegrr

For a person who does not make friends easily it will be lonely. Everyone is different. As the child of a person in the military I did not make close friends because I or they were always moving. As a military wife I did not make close friends because I or they were always moving. As an Airman I did not make close friends because I or they were always moving. I do not make friends easily so it was very lonely for me. I know other woman who have felt the same way.

Kenny and me perfect together, 10 years and counting

Sucks to be you, So glad I am me

Proud Member of P.O.O.P,  People Offended by Offended People

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MrsRicecake Posts : 700 Registered: 2/2/08
Re: US Air Force. = ]
Posted: Feb 5, 2009 4:34 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Nicely said Kennys. I do not make friends easily either. I spent my childhood moving EVERY summer, so I learned how to guard myself and my feelings. I have only been living on base for a month, but I have only met two wives and they happen to be DH's friends wives. Its a lonely life. Period. I can be friends with many people and I would still be lonely because DH isnt around. I would rather have real fights with my husband than when things start getting rough he just leaves and we can just pretend to a happy little life because we arent around eachother to know what it really is like to have a husband.
And to say every woman should marry a military man is ridiculous. This life is not for everyone. It might be fun for a minute. But at the end of the day you go home to an empty home and as much fun it is to look at a man in uniform, that doesnt get me through the seperation. I lived at completely different corners of the country for a year without Dh. Was it easy? Absolutely not. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, but I love him and I had my family to support us and we are married and happy.
As I have said in a few of my other post on this thread. I am watching my brother go through a divorce. They are both Marines. They see eachother a week out of the entire month because either he is in the field or she is. She cheated on him because she was lonely. She stopped answering his phone calls when she was away because it was easier not talking to him. She cant handle being married to a military man and has even said it would have happened if she wasnt in the military. Her biggest regret is marrying a military man because you are not in it together. You are at home by yourself a lot. Its just the way it is. Some women can handle it, others cant.

Married Since December 27, 2008!

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