Commitment Ceremony

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 8, 2009 8:11 PM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

She's making a choice, a choice that gays and lesbians are denied. That to me is the problem as I said my sister would love to have that choice.

I have no problem with OP's choice it is hers to make I just think the fact that there are so many who want to have the option and don't have it is sad. But in the end it doesn't affect me one way or the other. I just don't understand it. I am with CB why go through all the trouble and not be married?

Kenny and Me Perfect Together,  10 years and counting.

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bride4life Posts : 499 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 8, 2009 9:07 PM Go to message in response to: kennysoldwife

Are you going to call each other husband and wife?

Are you going to introduce each other as "This is my husband..." "This is my wife Pointer" ?


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 9, 2009 12:29 AM Go to message in response to: CaribbeanBride08

My point is Why does it matter why?

This is what they want to do. This is what they choose to do.

It's not my issue if they are spending money, etc BUT being honest to anyone who might attend.

Might I have an issue if they were not honest about the commitment ceremony, Yes. Otherwise, no issue for me.

Besides, I'm NOT invited. I really doubt that anyone here is either. And if they were, they could chose not to attend.


PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 9, 2009 12:35 AM Go to message in response to: MsDenuninani

Just to be clear, when I said that the disconnect may be that you can't
"walk away" from marriage the way you can "walk away from a commitment"
I was only trying to identify what people might feel is the difference,
not making a pro or con opinion either way.

I wonder, without signing that paper, if I would have "felt" like I was
committed. I wonder if I "need" the paper to feel married, or if I
would have felt committed it if it had only been a ceremony. I don't

Ms D I really wasn't trying to be hard on you, as I think we're coming from the same area.

And I also agree, I don't know that I would have felt that 'committed'.

But, as you have already expressed, that was me. I wanted this with DH. This was OUR decision.

And the decision of the OP sounds like it was jointly made-and I respect that. I may not understand, but I don't HAVE to - it works for them.


Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 11, 2009 10:24 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

Aunt - you and I are on the same side of the gay rights issue here, so you won't find any arguments from me. But I think Mrs. D expressed my opinion very well when she said that the gay rights movement is fighting for the "Right to Choose to be Married." I don't think every long-term committed gay couple is going to run out and get married the instant it's legal where they are. They have a choose to simply sign wills and have a committment ceremony at that point too - just like Pointer is choosing. Voting is a right too, one that many people choose not to take advantage of. I don't see a big difference.

IMG_7875.jpg picture by sarahandchris2008



RoxanneMP Posts : 1 Registered: 1/17/09
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 17, 2009 12:21 AM Go to message in response to: Pointer

Good for you, and good luck to you. I sorry about your aunt and am of the mind set, to just invite her and let her decide. She is the one to live with her decision and you know you have done all you can to include her.

I too am planning a commitment ceremony and have not found resistance. We are doing this for financial reasons. It does not make any sense to put our money together legally. I also believe in separation of church and state.

Why does it not make sense to anyone? We don't care if the government knows we are married, but we want our family and God to know of our committment. For us it is important to take these vows to each other with family and God as our witness. I am surprised that no one as mentioned God, just money and legal matters!

We are having a Minister marry us. We have taken care of the medical aspects by a power of attorney, and are not spending much money. We want to make this about love, family, God and commitment.

I do have a couple of questions for you. You said you were taking his name, are you doing that with a court name change?

How do you suggest wording invitations?

Hope you can give me some ideas. Thanks, Roxanne Edited by: RoxanneMP on Jan 17, 2009 12:37 AM

Edited by: RoxanneMP on Jan 17, 2009 12:45 AM


wildfreeone Posts : 1 Registered: 1/31/13
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Jan 31, 2013 11:44 AM Go to message in response to: Pointer

I know I am little late on the issue, but I saw your comment and I had to say something.

Good for you! I am also a bride that is having a commitment ceremony and I know exactly what you are going through. I want to have a celebration to show how much I love my fiance and I want my friends and family to be there and witness it. I hope that your day went fantastic and you didnt have anyone there to ruin it. Even if it is not legal in your province/state, it is for you!



Happy2BInlove Posts : 1 Registered: 2/22/13
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Feb 22, 2013 11:40 AM Go to message in response to: Pointer

Ok I hve just read through some of the most disturbing close minded views I have ever read. I too am planning a commitment ceremony, both my self and my boyfriend have been married and unfortunately they fell apart. If any of you knew how hard it is to legally get out of a marriage and the lessons you learn about what the true meaning of love are when you have loved and lost, then you would understand why a piece of government issued paper does not define just how very much I love this man and how whole heartedly, body mind and soul want to spend the rest of my life with him. To gather my friends and family that love us and stand by us all together and celebrate the love and commitment we have for each other is all about including them in that love, and not for selfish reasons. No gifts we have all we need, no registers, just two people who deeply love each other surrounded by people who love them, to celebrate and make a promise to each other. We too have sorted out the legalalities of it with our lawyer and we are so ready to begin the life we fel we should have been living all along....with out the governments bless you. Besides where I live after 6 months of living together we are common law and so in the eyes of the law, all but the ceremnoy married so...and FYI to touch on the statement about Gays fight for the right to marry and to have these ceremonies, so making it wrong for staright people to do it....holy REALLY!! So those of us that can have kids shouldn't because people struggle everywhere to have them...thats unfair, or maybe I will stop driving because there are people who are not allowed to drive, how about maybe I will stop seeing because there are blind people, or hearing because deaf people can't...clearly thats logic at it's finest!! WOW...good for you i say and thoroughly enjoy your day!

Edited by: Happy2BInlove on Feb 22, 2013 11:42 AM

Edited by: Happy2BInlove on Feb 22, 2013 11:50 AM


miriamlee Posts : 18 Registered: 2/10/13
Re: Commitment Ceremony
Posted: Feb 25, 2013 9:32 PM Go to message in response to: Happy2BInlove


I am happy for you. It takes a sacrifice just to be formally be committed with your love one. All the legalities, the documents, and the meetings. It really shows how much you are willing to show your love to each other. I hope for your relationship will lasts forever.

It really is exciting to get married with a partner who loves you more.


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