Opposite Sex Friends

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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:17 AM

Do you have opposite sex friends? Does your DH/FH? Are you/he jealous of the opposite sex friend?


Happiness is your doggy meeting you at the door!

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:29 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Dear CL,

We both have opposite sex friends, and neither are jealous.

I see no reason to prohibit an innocent friendship. If he's going to cheat, he'll figure out a way.

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:35 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

DH and I both have opposite sex friends. Neither one of us is jealous. We both think it is healthy to have males/females in your life other than your spouse and family. It can help a lot. If DH and I have a fight, I can turn to my male friend and say "XYZ happened. Explain to me what he is thinking please". Sometimes the neutral third party helps.

One reason we aren't jealous is that we pretty much know all of each others friends and have a lot of friends in common. I don't see a problem with DH staying in touch with girls he has known since he was 14. there is no reason to cut people out just because he is my husband.

 

Don't make me go Brooklyn on you. I have brass knuckles and I know how to use them.

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nanette927 Posts : 1,748 Registered: 1/28/08
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:40 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

CyclistLover wrote:

Do you have opposite sex friends? Does your DH/FH? Are you/he jealous of the opposite sex friend?



He was jealous at first but after 4 years and getting married he's over it. I was jealous at first with his close friend of 28 yrs. Only because he was in love with her for years pretty much till he and I got together. He wanted to me to meet her asap I did and she was a sweetheart she even attended our wedding.


 

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5in3 Posts : 806 Registered: 8/15/06
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 10:57 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

CyclistLover wrote:

Do you have opposite sex friends? Does your DH/FH? Are you/he jealous of the opposite sex friend?


Oh Lordy yes we have opposite sex friends. Probably me more then DH, however, DH is not jealous. In fact, DH likes to joke that I have been a groomsman in more weddings the he has. He knows these friends, and sees how we are around each other. There is no jealousy, because it is obvious that these are just friends. I treat them as I would treat my brothers. I am also not jealous of DH female friends, in fact when I met him he was living with 2 other girls.

DH and I have complete trust in each other. When Looking at how we are together, and how we act with our other friends it is easy to see that others are just that friends, but we are in love. You just have to keep the lines of communication open.
Me, my honey and our kitties make 4.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 11:05 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Both DH and I have opposite sex friends. DH carpools with a girl from work and they've become closer. She's a lesbian, but she still counts as opposite sex! I know he has a work wife, and I have a work husband (2 actually, its fun to watch them fight!)

Neither of us are jealous. I think DH might be a tad jealous of my one work husband however he knows it's all good. Its mostly a gossip relationship and a venting about work relationship. And of course it helps that he is also cute.

I think its super healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. Sometimes its advantageous to have another person to bounce things off of. Especially if there is something you need to talk to DH abuot but you're not sure how to bring it up or something.


New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 11:39 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

I have a friend of the opposite sex, and at first Michael had a problem with it, but I told him to get over it, because this person has been my friend for years, and it ws strictly platonic. So now we are all friends!

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Mrslinnben Posts : 2,285 Registered: 6/4/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 11:51 AM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

CyclistLover wrote:

Do you have opposite sex friends? Does your DH/FH? Are you/he jealous of the opposite sex friend?


Happiness is your doggy meeting you at the door!

I hope you don't get hit by a city bus Cool





We both have opposite sex friends, and neither one of us have a probelm with it.

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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 12:03 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

Both FH and I have opposite sex friends. I think I do more than FH, but I've always gotten along with boys better than girls. I've always been very upfront in relationships - I will have male friends, particularly my closest male friend who I've been best friends with since sixth grade. FH is one of the first guys who has really been able to handle this and trust me.

Personally, I think it's healthy to have friends of the opposite sex. I don't have any female friends that will play video games with me for hours! (Yup, I'm a dork).

I personally have trouble understanding why someone would ask their significant other to end friendships. One of my close friends from college has effectively ended our friendship because his fiance doesn't like him having female friends. It's sad - I miss him. I'm hoping that eventually he'll be able to redevelop his female friendships.

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NJ4Life Posts : 3,358 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: karebeartg

personally have trouble understanding why someone would ask their significant other to end friendships. One of my close friends from college has effectively ended our friendship because his fiance doesn't like him having female friends. It's sad - I miss him. I'm hoping that eventually he'll be able to redevelop his female friendships.

You know Karebear, I lost a friend like that as well. And it was a female I lost to her partner! I had been friends with her since HS and we went to college together as well. She came out and started dating her now partner. And she used to have to sneak behind her partner's back to talk to me. I was never comfortable with it, so we ended up not talking anymore. However, I am not gay but the girl was SO threatened by me. Also my ex friend used to tell me her partner would tell her all the time that she was self-destructive. Whatever. She was a good friend but I cannot deal with that. She didnt acccept my Friend request on Facebook either. Most likely b/c if her gf found out she'd get mad.

New Jersey: We have dumps, bays and cement boots and we know how to use 'em

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MrsMcCain Posts : 580 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 12:59 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

We have opposite sex friends who are couples, and we hang out as a group. We of course have our opposite sex work friends. Neither of us have opposite sex friends that we call up and hang out with by ourselves... we just don't do that.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 1:58 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

I think I have more guy friends than he has girl friends. But then again, he's the most feminine of his friends lol

Mrs. Pinky


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karebeartg Posts : 831 Registered: 6/25/08
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 2:01 PM Go to message in response to: NJ4Life

NJ4Life, yup that sounds almost exactly like my friend. My understanding (from a mutual male and thus safe) friend is that the guy used to have a thing for me (news to me!) so the fiance is particularly threatened by me. It's pretty silly because I'm 1) engaged, 2) was single when we were friends and never did a single thing with him and 3) live 1600 miles away. When I'm down visiting family in Florida, my other two friends and I used to call and invite him and his fiance out - nope.

Last year I put in one last bit of effort and managed to get him on the phone. We discussed that it was hurtful to me that he'd blow me off when I was home and that I was happy to have him and his fiance come hang out in a group with me and FH or me and our mutual friends. Despite several promises to try harder, he didn't follow through on it, so I gave up.

There's that little confrontational part of me that wants to talk to his fiance, but I recognize that it'd only make things worse and I simply don't do drama.

So, anyway, back on topic... if anything I encourage FH to have female friends. He's dense about how females think sometimes (maybe I should resurrect the unromantic husbands thread...) so he could use some female additional female influence!


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marty08 Posts : 1,110 Registered: 7/1/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

My DH best friend is female. I always laugh at him because they fight like a married couple...those two are just funny. I work with mostly males so it's always a bunch of guys(and sometimes wives) that come over for happy hour, or we always go to breakfast or lunch together. My hubby is very cool with the fact that I do have guy friends thru work..and when I travel and meet up with them...we have a group that always just "hangs out" together.

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BenjaminsWife Posts : 1,069 Registered: 1/11/07
Re: Opposite Sex Friends
Posted: Dec 5, 2008 2:59 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

Dh and I both have friends of the opposite sex. However, we respect each other. He and I would never just go out for the day or do dinner unless the other was present.

It came out like this because about 6 months after we met, a friend of his from work invited him out to lunch knowing very well that he was with me. I was not comfortable with it because I didnt know her. He did go to lunch with her which was fine. She spent the entire lunch hitting on him and trying to get him to go home with her after work. Needless to say, FH got out of there so fast (before he even ate) and so now he's careful to not be put in a sistuation like that again.

All I could say was....I told you so!

Just Married...9.20.08

Formerly BenjaminsBride 

 

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