Why Do Men Hate Weddings???

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 4:46 PM

Why do Men Hate Weddings? Im really curious. I know you are not men so you can only guess - but Id like to know if my situation is normal - or if DH is just a Whiny Little Boy when it comes to going to a Wedding. Do your husbands act this way? Or is it just me?

I have always LOVED weddings. I love going to weddings. Love being a Guest at one. I dont get why someone would hate a wedding. Whats there to hate? Is it the free food and alcohol (if youre lucky and get an open bar style...) you disapprove of? The old friends and family you get to see that you havent seen in a long time and want to catch up with? The great music and atmosphere (if youre lucky)? Maybe its the chance to dress nice and feel like someone important for the night - like youre actually going somewhere FUN and exciting. Or is it all that love in the air that men cant deal with? Seriously - what is there to hate?

I can understand if you have one of those phases we ALL have had where it seems like everytime you turn around there is another Wedding you have to attend. For us, that was in 2006 and it ended with our own wedding. So I can comprehend DH not wanting to go ALL THE TIME - but honestly; whenever we get invited to a wedding; he acts like a CHILD. No wait. Thats insulting to children. He whines and pouts and says things like "Sigh - do we HAVE to go to this?" (and thats when its HIS OWN friends wedding!!) He does a countdown in his head leading up to the day of reckoning. Then comes the inevitable shopping trip. Because God Knows that Dh - a 42 yr old man - STILL doesnt own a suit or "nice" clothes for a wedding. So now we have to go to Sears and I have to be the good wife and help the manchild pick out a nice shirt and pants. And then I get "Do I have to wear a tie?" Shoes are a big issue too. He never has comfortable dress shoes. And when we are AT the wedding - thats when he reaches the heights of ridiculousness. He will just SIT at the table pretty much all night long. Pouting. He does talk and socialize with other people there, but getting him to dance is like pulling teeth. Forget it. And you know what? I want to dance with my husband. I never get to - which is another reason I love weddings. Becuase I LIKE dancing with my husband. But he acts as if dancing is a torture chamber. If Im lucky - he will slow dance with me maybe once. But I have to ask over and over. Then I get "my feet hurt - these shoes hurt - Im hot - Im just going to sit here." And when I say "Wasnt that fun?" at the end of the night he says "It was okay." And then he adds "I just dont like weddings." Well WHY NOT???

Does anyone else have this issue? I swear it would be easier dealing with a 4 yr old than trying to deal with DH when it comes to weddings.


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Beachwed Posts : 782 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 5:03 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

We just got past one of the crazy wedding seasons, so my husband truly is "burnt out" from weddings. But it is kind of true, when I'll bring up his best friend's wedding, which is coming up next year, he'll say "ughh, can we not talk about this right now?" Even though I don't ask him detailed questions, just how is his buddy doing. I think he associates any wedding question with the time he had to sit through a meeting with the florist, he doesn't think it's all that much fun.

I think, at least for my husband, he doesn't love weddings like I do because his perfect Saturday is spent on the couch, in his boxers, beer in hand, sports on TV. And my perfect Saturday is spent reuniting with friends and family and eating fabulous foods, which is what a wedding entails. To him, he thinks he's going to be asked the million questions ("how's your job? When are you buying a house? When are the kids coming?") and yes, those questions do get asked, but everything else is a great time.

Guys are funny. I don't have much of an answer, except that at the end of every wedding, my husband raves about what a good time it was. Now I just need him to remember that before other weddings, so that I don't feel like I'm dragging him to a torture chamber! 

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FinallyMrsF Posts : 285 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 5:12 PM Go to message in response to: Beachwed

The men in my life, FH, my Dad and my brother all like weddings. They are very family oriented and my FH likes getting dressed up. I am the one that doesn't like going. I hate wearing dress shoes, and putting on make-up. I have a thyroid disorder and I get tired quickly. I love seeing my family and friends getting married though. I just feel overwhelmed at the reception. Needless to say, as my wedding fast approaches I am worried that my energy level won't hold up, and I'm freaking out about being surrounded by people for 6 hours.

 


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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 5:17 PM Go to message in response to: Beachwed

Yeah thats the thing - at OUR wedding, DH had an amazing time and said over and over again how it was just one of the best days ever. Because it WAS! And when we have gone to a good friends wedding together, or my brothers wedding which was just a few months before our own, he always would whine and pout before and DURING the wedding - but then afterwards say that it was a really nice wedding/ good time, etc. But then we go through the same thing each time - all the whining and pouting and sighing and such LOL. I suspect a big part of it for my DH is the dancing. He HATES dancing. With a passion. And yes - like you said; guys love to sit on the couch and relax, watch sports, hang out at home, etc. But we do that EVERY WEEKEND!!! LOL. Its not like we go to weddings all the time. Hardly ever in fact. So why is it SUCH a huge drag to them the few times that they come up? Weird.

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 5:53 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

"guys love to sit on the couch and relax, watch sports, hang out at home, etc." I think this is what a lot of guys don't like - no access to tv! lol. But then you heard my rant about EH and his preoccupation with sports. I have only been to one wedding with EH and he didn't seem to mind it. I thought it sucked. lol. Supper was a chicken drumstick and half a cup of mac and cheese. This also led to my concern about his extended family attending our wedding because they really do things very casually where they are from. I think he didn't mind this wedding because ceremony and reception were in same location (as in exact same location with everyone watching from round tables) then quick dinner and no dancing, and no drinking (except head tables who had champagne while we had sugary sweet punch) Damn that was an awful wedding. Hmm maybe I will be the one who is pouting when it comes time to go to more!

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Nalamienea Posts : 2,924 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 7:17 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

LOL Tanis, that's terrible! BLeh!

I think you've pretty much enumerated all the reasons why men don't like weddings already in your speech.  He hates dressing up, wearing dress shoes, having to talk to people, having to answer uncomfortable questions, having to see relations he doesn't feel any particular love or affection for (crazy uncle Todd perhaps?) He hates being away from home, he hates feeling the pressure to dance.  

I've never been to a wedding with FH, but I know that he has to try hard when we go out with people, especially if it's a big group of people.  You just have to always be "on" as we say.  Talking, laughing, giggling... for some people nights like that are effortless and for other people they are extremely draining.   I do a little better than FH does, but I feel like that enough that I understand what he's talking about.  He really does try hard though to have a good time, and we know our limits, so we leave before either of us gets too cranky.   


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HappyGirl13 Posts : 1,298 Registered: 4/21/08
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 7:20 PM Go to message in response to: TanisJ

My DH doesn't really complain about weddings specifically--he just complains when we have something to do a few weekends in a row because he's also part of the A-Perfect-Weekend-Is-Spent-On-The-Couch Club. Does MisterKelley only complain when you have to go to a wedding or does he complain about other social events, too?

DH also hates dressing up. He feels like he has to ask me what to wear, and when I say he has to wear his dress shoes, he sighs and whines, even though he himself has said his dress shoes are one of his most comfortable pairs of shoes EVER. And he looks good dressed up.

I have to admit I'm not always delighted to be invited to weddings. But that's because I think in my entire life I've only been invited to 3 LOCAL weddings. Every other wedding involved flights or really long drives. I don't know if that's unusual or not. But when I get invited to a wedding that involves travel, it stresses me out because spending the money stresses me out and unless it's one of my very best friends (in which case there's no question I'd go), I have to think about how important this person is to me and whether I'll offend them by turning them down.

Since I've had my own wedding, I probably won't worry as much about offending--I wasn't offended when people said no because they were people I wasn't particularly close to anyway. My closest people all showed.


Message was edited by: HappyGirl13

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TheNewMrsJ Posts : 754 Registered: 1/6/08
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 10:33 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

i think it's because to them, the only important thing is saying your vows and being legally married. the rest of the stuff - the elaborate clothes, the big reception, all that, isn't really necessary, and most guys would rather leave out the unnecessary stuff and just get to the point, ya know?

 

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 10:41 PM Go to message in response to: TheNewMrsJ

MrsJ - Yeah I get what youre saying - but I would just think that the wedding reception would be something FUN for most people;including guys. Free food, drinks, tons of people in one place, festive atmosphere, etc etc. I dont know. I see some men out on the dance floor the whole night with their wives - my cousins husbands both LOVE weddings and they will dance all night long and just have a great time socializing etc. I guess its the dancing that my DH hates so friggin much. Its just annoying lol. I just have so much FUN at weddings but then I have to keep checking to make sure hes not pouting in the corner LOL.

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"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 8:39 AM Go to message in response to: HappyGirl13

Does MisterKelley only complain when you have to go to a wedding or does he complain about other social events, too?

He is generally really good about other social events and just hanging out with friends, going places, etc. It is definately specifically WEDDINGS that he complains about. And he has said more than once "I just dont like weddings." And when I say "Why?" I get " I just dont." Well gee - thank you for THAT ingenius response there! I feel I know you sooo much better now after that look into your soul LOL.


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"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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Beachwed Posts : 782 Registered: 9/19/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 9:09 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I also think part of it, for my husband at least, is he doesn't like feeling "locked in" to plans. In general. Like my family is trying to plan a big get-together, and he adores my family, but he's grumbling a little bit because it will be a weekend-long event, and that's a weekend that he already knows he can't be a part of the sit-on-the-couch-club (love that by the way). Weddings are the same, he doesn't like planning things that far in advance. But like this weekend, for example, we have nothing planned. If someone calls us up and asks if we want to go out for dinner and dancing, he'll say "Yes! Sure!" but it's because it's spur of the moment, he gets excited by that. 

I also find it hilarious with the clothing thing. My husband dresses really well, he has to get dressed up for work and he owns plenty of sport coats, suits, what have you. But we are getting ready for a wedding, and he comes out way too casually dressed (he attempted khaki shorts one time). I ask him to please get a little more dressed up, and then for the rest of the night, if he sees anyone who is really casually dressed, he feels the need to point that person out to me and say "see? His wife let him wear whatever he wanted." Ugh. You get dressed up every day for work, why not just dress in the same fashion instead of acting like a 2 year old who doesn't realize that weddings tend to be formal? He's so funny about it.

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 11:50 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

I'll have to ask EH but for the most part we enjoy going to weddings. We just hate going to "country" weddings or a wedding where country music will be played. That's really the only thing that I can think of that would make us go, "Eh, we'll see." He doesn't mind too much dressing up or wearing dress shoes b/c he's such a casual person anyway it gives him a reason to "look nice." He dances with me and is usually the one pulling ME on the dance floor. We have a great time.

Mrs. Pinky


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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 3:42 PM Go to message in response to: mrspinky

Pinky - Im VERY jealous. My husband wouldnt dance unless forced at gunpoint. And even then, he would probably take a chance that the guy has bad aim. I really think this is a HUGE part of why he hates weddings so much. Because while everyone else is on the dancefloor for a long time, he just sits there at the table pouting.

Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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mrspinky Posts : 3,773 Registered: 3/14/08
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 3:50 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Aw don't be jealous. He can really turn embarrassing. That's why he has to drag me. No, I don't want to act out "My Girl" while you and your cousin sing it to me. lol

Mrs. Pinky


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wzq103 Posts : 1,190 Registered: 9/11/12
Re: Why Do Men Hate Weddings???
Posted: Dec 5, 2012 7:14 AM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

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