A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.

Online Users: 1,346 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 2,746


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 9:22 PM Go to message in response to: jeaniebelle87

Autumn- Wow, that's a lot of ferrets! My friend has one but it smells. Isn't there a procedure you can do to fix that problem, like removing a gland or something?

Ariana- Congrats on being done with finals!

Brighter- That's great that you and Greg get to spend the summer together, nights included! My boyfriend is allowed to spend the night with me at my mom's, and I think one of the reasons she decided to allow it was my half-joking question, "Where do you think he sleeps when he visits me?" Parents want us to be happy but it's so hard for them to let us grow up.

Jeanie- Congrats on getting a wedding date! Have you asked your FH why he doesn't want to sleep in his childhood bedroom together? Maybe it's too close to his parents room, or maybe he just wants to keep that a part of his childhood and not sleep on Barney sheets with you. ;)

Nessa- Glad to hear that you're mending! I really like the tea cup favors you're doing and I think incorporating them into the centerpieces is creative, fun, and original! Everyone's seen vases and flowers done a million times, but tea cups are different! Have you found a place to get your dress altered yet?

Jewel- Sorry to hear that you and FH are having a misunderstanding/miscommunication. I hope it all gets worked out. Have you guys considered pre-marital counseling?

As for shared living spaces, I think at my house most of the sexually active roommates have been heard at least once, although for a while one of the guys was dating an extremely vocal girl... they even made the house shake! Things have been pretty quiet lately though, maybe we're all focused on finals... so much more productive and yet so much more boring!

Reply


Autumnalis2010 Posts : 133 Registered: 1/12/09
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 4, 2009 9:55 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

.

Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 5, 2009 12:12 AM Go to message in response to: jeaniebelle87

Hey girls!

Oh my gosh there's so much to catch up on!!


Nessa: Your cake is going to look amazing! I can't wait to see the pictures! Are you finally feeling better? I hope you are! I agree with Jeanie about the teacups--filling them and putting them on levels would be really cool!

Jewel: What are your colors? And I'm sorry you and your FH are having a misunderstanding! Hopefully it will get smoothed out quickly!

Rose: That is so awesome about the studio! I'm sure it will end up being a lot better for you privacy-wise than having roommates!

Ariana: Hope your finals went well!

Autumn: Congrats on being done with the semester! Yay!

Someone asked about roommates/privacy/intimacy...lol.

Well, you all know that Chris and I live with his grandma. The whole situation has definitely affected our sex life! It's not so much that we're worried about being disruptive, it's just that we live with her and we can hear every move she makes upstairs because she is an extremely heavy walker. I kid you not, Chris can walk upstairs in steel toes and be quieter than his grandma! That is disruptive to us because it just reminds us of the situation. And there's been at least one time where we were in the middle of it and she came downstairs. Thank God we had the foresight to lock the basement door, but it totally ruined the mood anyway! All that being said, I don't know how much living with his grandma has affected Chris, but I do know that it has really affected me. My sex drive has really decreased and I really don't like it.

My finals are next week! I'm so excited to be done with the semester! But this week is going to be crazy. My 2nd job has called me in to work a total of 18 hours on top of my hours at the studio--all my free days!--because they're short handed and it's mothers day. I'm really not looking forward to being so busy this week. I'm not feeling all that well between allergies and the stress of the end of the semester and I have a feeling that I'm not going to get a chance to chill at all this week!

Alrighty. I have a play to read. Goodnight girls!

Reply


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 5, 2009 12:40 AM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Autumn- Glad you could appreciate the house shaking, hehe. I had been lying on my bed reading and thought I had vertigo because I had the sensation of swaying! My flatmate wandered in to chat and I commented on the world moving, and she said she felt it too. We stared at the lamp on my desk and saw it wobbling, so we ran to the hallway and sure enough, shouts of "oh GOD!" were coming from our floormate's room. After the initial shock and disgust wore off, we laughed until we cried, and then delighted in teasing the him for weeks. It was actually a result of how he had just rearranged his room and positioned his bed on a different wall--the vibrations were making it all the way to our side of the floor, lol. ... Oh the stories I could tell! If it ever gets boring in here, we should just share our funniest/most embarrassing/craziest stories...

P.S. I like your ticker! ;)

Ryanne- I knew that living with FH's grandma was affecting intimacy but I wasn't sure just how much. Does she ever leave the house? It might help you forget her presence and get in the mood... Or you guys could go somewhere else for privacy. I don't mean like park your car behind the high school bleachers or anything, but maybe... hm... anyone have any suggestions out there?! Camping perhaps, or renting a cheap hotel room and having a mini getaway?



Reply


FutureMrsShavers Posts : 8 Registered: 6/13/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 5, 2009 2:17 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Hey everyone! I havent posted on the thread in a while...busy with school (graduating May 17), moving, etc. I have been reading everyone's posts and will respond soon....Everytime I am able to read the posts its late and Im so tired by then.
wedding count down

Reply


NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 5, 2009 1:02 PM Go to message in response to: FutureMrsShavers

Good morning girls!
Thanks for all the compliments on the cake, I am so excited for it!!

Ryanne~ I am slowly getting better, but still feel pretty crummy. Thanks for asking! I agree you and Chris need to find some time to get away and just relax and be able to be lovey with out Grandma around. Have you looked into maybe getting a hotel for a night or weekend once a month, or camping, or if your adventurous, visit a park after dark? I know when Bill and I arn't able to do our thing we both get really grumpy, and fight for no reason, we're kinda at that point since I am so sick....Ohh good luck on your finals next week! And try to have fun being busy this week, sounds like you will be getting extra money, and at least for me thats always motivation enough to get through busy times.

Autum~ I am glad everything went well with your presentation! Enjoy your 3 weeks off!!

Welcome back Schafer (sorry don't really remember your name)

Ok so I am ready to loose it. I am so tired of wedding stuff I just want to scream! I called the florist I was going to have do my centerpeices and she said oh yea I got all the stuff and we're going to be able to keep it on the lower side....About $40 per peice!! Yea no way, thats like $400!! I do not have $400!! I think besides my dress the only thing that is going to cost over $100 total is the food! theres no way I am spending that much on centerpeices! So since she already has all the supplies, I doubt I can get my money back. I told her if she can keep it as close to $100 as possible I still may be able to pull it off, and she laughed and said the vases alone cost $100, but she will brian storm and see what she can come up with to cut some costs. So now I am dreading her call because I have to tell her sorry can't do it. I hate this!! I told my mom I don't care anymore so she is taking over the centerpeices I guess. I am a little worried what she will come up with. I told her my idea for the tea cups since we already have them, but she didn't seem very interested. I just want to cry.....I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved witht hat florist.....But all well you live and learn I suppose.


Reply


JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 5, 2009 1:08 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Rose~Im pretty sure if i sudgested counceling he would get upset saying that i was implying we have problems. on top of that Im not gonna see him again till sept. and i dont want there to be issues between us :(

Autumn~ferrets are just soooo adorable and have such personalitys! I really miss our old 2 but i love these 2 as much

Ryanne~our colors are lavender and pale green unless Ryan changes his mind and wants darker greens or purples.

well i got to go my dads yelling at me :) i'll be back!

Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 12:32 AM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Rose: That story is just too funny!

Jewel: Your colors sound really pretty! I like the purple and green combo a lot!

Shavers: Nice to meet you! Good luck with finishing up with school and graduation!

Nessa: I'm sorry to hear that you're having issues. Did she tell you what the centerpieces would cost before she went ahead and bought the supplies? She really should have, since it sounds like she knew you wanted to keep costs lower. If you can get your money back, I would head over to Hobby Lobby and Michaels and get your bms and friends together for some DIY. If you keep your centerpieces simple, they won't take any time at all to put together. Good luck hun!

Rose and Nessa: Really, the living situation has only had an impact on me, as far as I can tell. The issues with Chris are very different. First of all, he's still struggling with a cough since January that he can't get rid of. He's on a steroid right now to try and get rid of it, but it still hasn't gone away. Secondly, his work schedule is almost always 3pm to 11pm. He has to leave an hour early and doesn't get home for nearly an hour after he gets off. He's also on his feet all day long. It just saps his energy. Finally, over the last year or so--I don't really know how long it's been--we've noticed that the instances where he can't finish and just loses his erection have increased. We thought it was related to his job, and stress, so we just tried to work through it. There's nothing that triggers it, there's not one thing that makes it work one time and not the next. We can't really explain it. Of course, Chris won't talk to his doctor about it. I can understand why, but at the same time I wish he would just suck it up so we can have sex like a normal couple. And of course, since I know there's a decent chance it won't work and Chris will get frustrated, I don't initiate as often. And now that my sex drive has plumetted, I do it even less. So we're pretty much stuck. I mean, we AREN'T, but we are.

As far as a getaway, I would love to do that. I've been thinking about doing something along those lines--especialy and DEFINITELY for our one-year anniversary. I don't want to have anything to do with his grandma on our anniversary. I know I sound like a brat, but I'm still sore over Valentines Day. We got to have a nice romantic dinner with grandma and there was no way out of it. We made up for it by going out a couple of weeks later, but it was the principle of the thing--we got all the stuff for a nice dinner, walked in the door and the first thing out of grandma's mouth was "what are we having?" Anyway, that will not happen for my first anniversary. No way in hell. lol. We're also going to be taking a mini-vacation next month, but we're going to visit friends, so who knows about that. I'll talk to Chris and tell him I think we need to do this, but we'll see. Oh, and Chris's grandma will be gone for 2 weeks in July and for at least a week in October, and some weekends in between. She was supposed to be gone for the last half of May, but changed her plans. So she'll be gone a little bit this summer. Who knows, though.

Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 11:55 AM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Oh! One thing I forgot to mention.

I went out to lunch with the wife of one of Chris's cousins--let's just call her my cousin, lol--and we got to talking about her new house and about Chris's and my plans to buy property. We had talked about my feelings about living with Chris's grandma before and she doesn't blame me at all--she says she couldn't handle it. Anyway, after we talked the first time, she mentioned to her husband (Chris's cousin) that it didn't sound like we were interested in buying grandmas house and property after all and her husband had a funny reaction. He said that he thinks that everyone in the family thinks that we're buying grandma's property. He also said that's a conversation he's glad he's not in on.

Great....

But in all honesty, I don't really care. I don't want to live in my husband's grandparent's home, where his grandpa died and were there is a cemetary within walking distance (it's hidden but it's still creepy) on the property. I also don't want to live that close to Chris's aunt and uncle, and that house in not designed for a family with little kids. It's just not. Plus it's not my dream house and I don't want to put time and money into a house I don't like all that much. And the shop isn't big enough and the property isn't set up the way Chris wants.

I don't feel bad about it. At. All.

But that will be an interesting conversation.

Reply


JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 12:31 PM Go to message in response to: ryanne

Nessa~ Stand up to that florist and tell her that you don't want it. Be like "sorry I have come up with a different idea and I'm gonna run with it, thanks for your time though" It's your wedding she can sucker some other poor couple.

Ryanne~ At college I took a human sexuality class and in it we talked about the negative effects of drugs (prescription as well) on the body and sexuality and steroids do what your talking about. They decrease the body's ability if not the persons willingness. Another absolute medicine that makes it difficult for both males and females to maintain arousal and to finish are anti depressants. I figure its to personal to ask if either of you are on those but i'm just throwing it out there for future referance for anyone :)

When I first started having secks my man had the same problem and everytime it happened i would feel like it was all my fault because I just MUST have done something wrong for that to happen....No it was just cause he was WORRIED it would happen and we were in a situation where we could have gotten caught so he was already all nervous and stuff.

So just go somewhere else if possible and make sure he isnt stressed about it happening and the likely hood of it happening will decrease GOOD LUCK!! (after writing all that i feel very nosey and I'm sorry >.< )

Reply


JewelOfTheSea Posts : 32 Registered: 12/22/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 1:29 PM Go to message in response to: JewelOfTheSea

Sorry just wanted to see if my tickers worked :D...guess not :(



<a xhref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/"><img border="0" xsrc="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10722;117/st/20090906/e/till+I+see+him+again%21/dt/-3/k/8af2/event.png"></a>

<a xhref="http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
<img border="0" xsrc="http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/2;10718;121/st/20090316/n/Bonnie+Cordelia/dt/-3/k/a43f/age.png"></a>


Edited by: JewelOfTheSea on May 6, 2009 1:32 PM

Reply


Rose217 Posts : 474 Registered: 8/9/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 1:51 PM Go to message in response to: JewelOfTheSea

Nessa- Less than three weeks to go, no wonder you're tearing your hair out! That's good that your mom is taking over the centerpieces, you've got your hair figured out and the OOT guest bags are nearly finished! Lean on FH and recruit his help if you need and continue venting here! The time is going to fly and everything will work out...

Jewel- It worries me a bit that your FH would be upset if you suggested pre-marital counseling and about the ring the other day. Does he understand that pre-marital counseling is very common and even required by many churches? It's to prepare for the marriage, not admit you've got problems. He's in the military, right? How much time is he at home and how much away? Sorry to hear he's gone until Sept, how's the long distance going?

Ryanne- I'm sorry to hear that on top of living with grandma, your sex life is suffering during your first year of marriage! Definitely plan something special, even extravagant, for your upcoming anniversary. If you guys don't do much oral or manual, maybe trying that would help-- possibly he could keep an erection one of these other ways, and at least you'd be getting satisfied, too! Interesting about buying grandma's house... Obviously you don't have to, but possibly you could buy (or inherit?) it, fix it up a bit, and sell it for more money.

Where's everybody else at?! Studying for finals? Enjoying summer already? Probably good to get off of the computer for awhile, but do come back soon. ;)



Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: JewelOfTheSea

Jewel: Chris has only been on the steroids for about a week, and before those he was on an inhaler for the cough since January. The issues have been going on since before that. He's not on any anti-depressants either. I would say the issues have really been going on...I would think since about September or October last year.

lol. We've had a very rocky sex life since after our honeymoon, and it just won't let up. lol. On our honeymoon, I got an infection from a combination of sex, hot tubs, and the ocean. The symptoms didn't show up until we got home. I finally went to the doctor at the very beginning of August (we got married July 12, symptoms showed up about a week later) and got an antibiotic. After the antibiotic was gone, it took a couple of more weeks for me to be completely better and we couldn't have sex until I was totally well. But by that time, Chris's job stuff started--he was getting laid off a lot more and it gradually increased to where he was only working every other week. At the same time, I was trying to finish up transferring from the community college where I got my AA to the university I'm getting my BA from. I started school at the end of August. So then our schedules were hectic and unpredictable for awhile, and the whole situation was stressful--money mostly. Then at the end of the semester, as I was trying to get ready for finals and register for this semester, we made the decision to move when our lease was up. So right before finals I had to pack up our apartment and get ready to move to his grandma's thanksgiving weekend. All this time, my sex drive was relatively normal. I was tired more, but I was never not able to rise to the occasion if Chris was in the mood. If he is in the mood, I'm automatically in the mood. I don't know why, but that's how I am. lol. Anyway, I kind of thought that moving would reduce Chris's stress, but then he got sick in January and when he got better, sex was always hard because of that stupid cough he can't get rid of! And then he got sick again a couple of weeks ago. And since about February my sex drive has just gone downhill simply because of my stress about living with his grandma and because I find it hard to be in the mood with his grandma upstairs, no matter how hard of a sleeper she is. Before all this, there were occasions when sex just didn't work, but it wasn't a big deal--mostly the issue was the fact that Chris would just be so tired from his job. We would start and it would hit him just how tired he was in the middle of it.

So yeah. I'm starting to think that we're just not meant to have sex. As you all can see, there are a LOT of issues and I'm not sure how to fix them.

And about the whole worrying thing...how does one go about not worrying that it won't work? What can he do to stop, if that's part of the issue?

Oh! I suggested the getaway idea to Chris and he told me that for my birthday (since I'm turning 21) he wants to go to a casino that is about 45 minutes away and stay overnight in the 4 star hotel that's attached to it. We want to go out to a nice dinner at one of the restaurants at the casino and then stay in one of the suites. So that will definitely be happening, but I'd like to do something before then, so we'll see.


Reply


ryanne Posts : 1,042 Registered: 4/27/06
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Rose: The thing about that is that oral sex before vaginal used to help, but since I got my braces off before our wedding, my TMJ has gotten worse--they think my wisdom teeth have something to do with it and I need to get the removed but I really don't want to!--so oral really hurts. I still do it every once in awhile, and it does help a lot, but it hurts, so I don't do it too often.

Reply


NessaRae615 Posts : 675 Registered: 9/23/08
Re: A Friendly Forum for Young Brides.
Posted: May 6, 2009 2:20 PM Go to message in response to: Rose217

Good afternoon girls! It has been quiet in here!!

Ryanne~ Wow I am so sorry to hear that your sex life has been suffering in the first year of marrage. That has be to really hard, but I know how you feel. Things can get a little complicated between us and not be very good, or really end, I have noticed it is when he is stressing about something. Also we don't do it very offten because he works a very physical job so he is dead tired when he gets home from work. The only time he wants to mess around is weekend mornings, and I am not into it then because I am not fully awake yet, so we have gotten to the point where we will go weeks on end with no action. He actually surprised me in the shower last night and that just totaly made the rest of my week! I think you guys def need to do something extravagant for your anniversary!! About the house....Thats kind of funny everyone thinks you guys are planning on buying it. Sounds like they think your doing a test run by living there.

Jewel~How are you doing with the long distance? Is FH gone at boot camp? I am sorry to hear about the misunderstanding with the ring, maybe he feels bad he isn't there helping you with this stuff. I was engaged to a guy who joined the Army before I met FH and we had a lot of arguments because it was hard to try and plan things with him in basic. I am sure you will get through it hun!

Rose~ I can't fathum that my wedding is so close! Its getting to the point where I have to take time off from work to get wedding things done. But its funny and cool because my boss's daughter who is my age just got engaged so my boss is really into the wedding stuff and always talking to me about it and doesn't care about me taking the time. Tomarrow I have to come in late because we are going to get our marrage license and the office doesn't open until 8:30, then next Thursday I am either only going to be able to work an hour or 2 if at all because I have to drive to my home town (about 2 hours away) and get my hair cut and highlighted. I also need to figure out when I can do fittings for my dress.....reminds me my boss gave me a number of someone to call..... I still haven't spoken with the florist yet......I am afraid shes going to put me on a guilt trip. Someone asked if she gave me aquote before she bought the stuff, and she did and didn't we talked about it and she said at the very highest it would be $45 per peice, she just had to see what was out there, but she never called me and told me she was going to order the stuff and how much it would be. My moms out shopping for centerpeice stuff today. I am a little worried, but I just need to stop caring I gues...

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine