MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

Online Users: 1,294 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 297


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 3:56 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

KelleyisKelley wrote :

Dear MisterKelley,

I must admit you are quite smart for a man. However; I dont feel its necessary to resort to blatant LYING in your reply to me. If oyu must know; it is I who has the job of removing Dhs disgusting hair from the drain; as I normally remove mine like a good human would. Also; I dont have 9000 bottles of female-STUFF in the bathroom; because as you have stated; our bathroom is WAY TOO SMALL to fit any of that crap.

I still say you should learn how to use a freakin towel.:)

Notice how she rants about everything I said but, suspiciously, says nothing about her leaving the water turned on??


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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stargazer9 Posts : 448 Registered: 12/20/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 3:58 PM Go to message in response to: ginmal

I too wonder about Gin's first question on the amazing production of new brides users or apparently old members who have just never  posted ever before with screen names similar to the ones of the ladies who are supposedly being attacked.  Do you ladies remember hottbride? LOL  Anyways Mister Kelley can you clear this mystery up for us?

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 3:58 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7Y0I91rubg

MisterKelley has decided that he needs an official theme song so here it is.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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stargazer9 Posts : 448 Registered: 12/20/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 4:00 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I think it's rather fitting, good choice Mr Kelley

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 4:32 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Heidibride30 is having problems with her MOH. She writes :

MisterKelley,  my MOH just started dating a new guy and I'm worried that she will neglect me because of this.  I only have a little more than a year to plan the wedding.  Would it really be out of line to expect her to put her life on hold until my wedding?!?!?!?  Honestly, doesn't she know what an honor it was for me to even ask her?  Well, I can only hope that this guy pays when they go on dates because, HELLO!!  She has a shower and bachlorette party to pay for, not to mention dress, shoes, hair, jewelry and makeup.  Tongue out

Heidi (may I call you Heidi?)  You're absolutely right about being concerned that your MOH may decide that her personal happiness and welfare are more important than you and your wedding. Therefore, it's extremly important that you get control of this as soon as possible. I could tell you how you need to let your MOH know that her responsibilities to your wedding override every other possible thing in her life. But chances are this may not do much good. You need to get to the root of the problem!! Everything was going along just fine until some stupid F'in man had to go and interject himself into the equation and screw things up. So logical reasoning says you need to get rid of her new boyfriend. This is best accomplished by doing the following: Convince him that your MOH is the highest maintenence Wh**e in the state. Convince him that you and her met and became best friends while dancing together at Silk Stockings, and how you wonder what she does at night to continue to make those payments on her new Porsche 911 turbo. Mention how she's been making a lot of Gynocological appointments lately, and how nice the former governor of NY was the first time you met him. With some creative thinking, I'm positive you will be able to get your MOH back focusing on what really matters.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,962 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 4:40 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

"how nice the former governor of NY was the first time you met him"


Excellent.


__________________________________________
"I'm asking you to believe.  Not just in my ability to bring about real change in Washington. . .I'm asking you to believe in yours." - Barack Obama

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Bride2008 Posts : 3,058 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 4:46 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I LOVE THAT THEME SONG! IT'S AWESOME!

 

"I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible." - Billy Crystal, When Harry met Sally 

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 5:15 PM Go to message in response to: stargazer9

Apparently, there's been a lot of discussion that involves people who have low post counts mouthing off whenever they see what they perceive as meaness towards other posters. Now if there's one things that p**ses misterkelley off while he's in a forum, it's a stupid Noob that doesn't know when to keep his/her mouth shut. For some reason, people think that not only is it their god given right to inform everyone of their opinions, they also feel that they deserve some level of respect. When the noob is one of those "Holier than thou", "Why can't we all just be nice and get along" types, it takes about 5 nanoseconds for your tolerance to wear out. You have start wondering  what the hell is going on here. Are we supposed to believe that someone has been "Lurking" on the boards for 2 years and contributed d**k to any topics except the one where someone said something stupid and got called out on it by the Forum regulars? Suddenly, miss "good christian woman" feels it's her obligation to save your mortal souls. Well, for those women, here's the facts. This board is basically about pg rated as you could possibly get, you think it's bad here? try visiting some of my Boards, and we're not talking porn sites either, I'm talking Music boards. The bashing that goes on over there makes this place look like Nirvana. Look Noobs, sometimes people don't respond to "Let's just be nice" that may work in your 1950's Leave it to Beaver World but just remember -Churchill and Roosevelt tried to be nice to a certain Tyrantical Dictator too and what did it get them? 50,000 tanks parked on the front lawn that's what. The only thing that ended that was a good thorough ass beating. So instead of crying and getting all dramatic on us, and threatening to "Leave the Boards", Please!! give us some credit, you're not going to leave the boards!! You might make up another name and use it, but you're not going anywhere.
EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Message was edited by: MisterKelley

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 6:01 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

And my second question.....WHY is it so damn hard for men to occasionally pick up flowers, or a card, or anything else for their wife, or FH without having to be asked or begged too?? Why?? It will only make your lives easier!! That is another I just don't understand.


Notice how MisterKelley answered everyones question ...EXCEPT for the all-important one concerning male spouses being romantic and thoughtful WITHOUT BEING ASKED to their wives:):):)

Hhhhmmmm, a little odd that he chose THAT question to skip over, dontcha think?:):)

I must say though MisterKelley that your reply to Gins FIRST question about the boards was quite brilliant.

I shall keep you around for awhile longer.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 


Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 10:18 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Oops...posted under wrong name. Sorry.

Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 10:30 PM Go to message in response to: Mrslinnben

Sorry again.

 


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 


Message was edited by: kelleyiskelley

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 10:46 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

I must say though MisterKelley that your reply to Gins FIRST question about the boards was quite brilliant.

I shall keep you around for awhile longer.

MisterKelley says - Thanks honey. Here, have some flowers

BTW, did you notice how I not only skipped over the second part of Gin's post but I also skipped over the first part of yours??

Have you been Blessed today??


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 10:48 PM Go to message in response to: PharmToxGirl

Mrs Linnben from FantasyLand Writes:

Mr. Kelley, can you please just wipe up the bathroom so your beautiful wife doesn't have to yell at you anymore.

Mrslinnben, do you honestly think that simply wiping up the bathroom would be all it took for MrsKelley to stop yelling at me? Really? Do ya? If that's all it took, I'd wipe up the water, blowdry the entire bathroom, spackle, and paint. The next time you decide to smoke crack, please try to have enough discipline to stay away from the keyboard. Jeez.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

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kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 16, 2008 11:49 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley says - Thanks honey. Here, have some flowers.

Ummm, honey - Look, I know that being a man and all; you are perhaps not all that bright; but I have to tell you that just typing the phrase "here, have some flowers" does NOT equal actually GIVING ME FLOWERS!!!

And more importantly ... you STILL havent answered Gins original question about our clueless nonromantic hubbies. Whats wrong? Has MrKelley finally been stumped into silence?:)

Oh and by the way - Here, have a million dollars.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

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PharmToxGirl Posts : 5,446 Registered: 8/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 17, 2008 12:23 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Love the Theme Song!  This is priceless.

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