MisterKelleys No B.S. Advice Column - NEW- MY Question of the Week #2

Online Users: 1,298 guest(s), 1 user(s). Replies: 297


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 9:33 PM Go to message in response to: Bride2008

After taking a much needed day off, MisterKelley is back and ready to tackle another round of q's from the gallery. First up is Bride2008 Bride writes:

Dear MisterKelley -

I am a big fan. Sometimes on the boards, after a thread is started saying, oh I don't know a late MOB dress, another poster will start a thread saying "Not to point fingers but..." and basically give advice on how a vendor's screw up can be avoided if the bride is careful. Do these jackasses honestly think poster #1 won't notice its about them? How do you handle this if you are poster #1?  Thanks for any guidance.

Oooh!! Oooh!! You know what happened Bride?  YOU GOT SERVED !!!!!!   IT's ON!!!!!!!!   Not to point fingers but with some proper planning, and if you were careful, you could have avoided having to listen to this silly retarded Prima Donna's useless babbling.   

 

 


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Reply


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 9:58 PM Go to message in response to: Heidibride30

Heidibride 30 writes:

Dear MisterKelley (of COURSE you can call me Heidi!), it has been insinuated in another thread that all Brides are crazy bitches who come into marriage planning to ruin their FMIL's lives.  What do you think we can do to change this perception?  Thanks!  

Dear Heidibride30 (May I call you 30? ) If you're a crazy bitch and wish to rid yourself of this stereotype, put most of your energy and resources into ruining your FH's life. On the other hand, if your FMIL raised her son to be a total idiot, then the rain of hell that you bestow upon her should be indirectly proportional to the quality of FH she has given you.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Reply


Joce Posts : 290 Registered: 11/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 27, 2008 11:35 PM Go to message in response to: kelleyiskelley

Kelley- I'm glad I could give you some laughs on a Friday afternoon :) 

I'm still waiting for his answer....


Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 6:48 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

After taking a much needed day off, MisterKelley is back and ready to tackle another round of q's from the gallery....

Really MisterKelley? Looks to me like youve only answered ONE question in the past few days. Is MisterKelley suffering from burnout - or perhaps we have rendered you speechless with our ingenius questions.

Joce - yeah Im STILL laughing at the idea of MKelley helping with wedding planning. Which gives you an indication of howmuch help he was LOL. So I too, am awaiting his reply to that one...


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

Reply


ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 75 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 9:56 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley!!

I have decided that the colors for our wedding will be the colors of my FH favorite university and sports team. My friends think thats absolutely ridiculous and that I shouldn't go with it? Whats a guys perspective?


CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 4:34 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Dear Mister Kelley,

My husband is in the Medical Profession. Actually, he is an EMT; like YOU MisterKelley! What a small world ...

ANYHOO - you would think that someone in the medical profession such as himself would understand more than anyone the importance of going to the doctor; having physicals; getting prostate exams; eye checkups; going to the dentist; and all the other things he SHOULD be doing at his ripe young age of 43. YOU WOULD THINK he would know this and DO this on his own. We have insurance - from HIS employer mind you - and I have even chosen a primary care physician for us and done all the legwork. It couldnt be any simpler. YET he hasnt been to the doctor in YEARS!!! How can I get him to see that he is in fact NOT immortal and he will in fact NOT live forever in perfect health; and that he needs to have his blood pressure and cholesterol and all that checked - just like everyone else? Why are men such babies when it comes to going to the doctor? I am worried about him and just want him to be healthy and smart. Why are men so stubborn when it comes to their own health??? Thank You.

--- Trying Like Hell Not to Nag in New Jersey

 


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

Reply


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 8:34 PM Go to message in response to: LittleRoo

Imaginary Roo says"

MrKelley, you are the model for all men to strive to be.  If you are doing everything around the house, does that mean MrsKelley gets to watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day?  Lucky MrsKelley.

Thankfully, Mrs. Kelley hates Bon Bons and ever since we got a DVR, I don't have to deal with her General Hospital addiction anymore.  As for your "Friend" Tell her that if she wants her husband to initiate sex more often,  here's what to do - When he comes home, be dressed in something like a fishnet teddy, have all the lights out except for a few candles and then hand him the remote to his new 52" LCD Hi Def TV. And don't be cheap, it needs to be True 1080p Hi Def, not that 720p crap. Do this and watch the results :)


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Reply


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 9:04 PM Go to message in response to: Joce

Joce writes:

Our wedding is coming up in 2.5months, and FH has mentioned he wants to be more involved in the planning.  (not sure I actually believe this, but this is what he says).  However, I'm still waiting on the addresses he promised to get me 6 weeks ago.  What tasks can i give him to do so he feels involved, at the same time don't stress me out if they don't get done on Bride-Time?  What sort of things were you involved in when planning your wedding?

Thanks- and love this thread!!
Joce
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Listen carefully - you DO NOT want FH sticking his opinions in places it doesn't belong. You've already experienced a small sample of how he goes about being more involved in the planning with less than desirable results. So what do you do? Well, there's 2 ways to tackle this, the first is to give him little, not so critical things to do. I'm talking buying the guestbook, maybe arranging to have disposible cameras's for every table so your guests can get pictures of everyone having a good time, Tell him he needs to pick out a nice song for his dance with his mother. Sorting out the RSVP replies into Yes and No piles. These are all things that, should he need supervision, can be fairly easily tackled by you without a lot of effort or stress. The second option is - If he insists on doing something that is critical to be completed on time, you're gonna have to lie about when it needs to be done. You've got something that needs to be completed in a month or so, tell him that he needs to have this taken care of by next week. If it looks like he's not buying it, tell him how much more money you're going to have to take out of the savings account if it's not done on time. A guy may not understand deadlines but he will understand money, especially if it means more of his is disappearing. 

Also, what sort of things did I get involved in during the planning of my wedding? Not much :) See, Mrs. Kelley was scared to give me anything major to do because she knows that if she said something like, " You're in charge of finding a photographer and Videographer, I'd Research the subject to nauseating throughness, narrow a long list down to 10 or so candidates, do more research online, make a decision, second guess, research some more, pick 2 or 3 that looked ok, then submit those to Kelley and explain that I'll have a decision within the week... unless I find a different photog that I like better.


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Reply


MisterKelley Posts : 258 Registered: 7/11/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 9:31 PM Go to message in response to: ShAyNBrAnDoN

Shaynbrandon writes:

MisterKelley!!

I have decided that the colors for our wedding will be the colors of my FH favorite university and sports team. My friends think thats absolutely ridiculous and that I shouldn't go with it? Whats a guys perspective?


CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

This depends on exactly what those colors are, if it's something like Magenta and Burnt Umber, then you need to convince him that his University sucks. Ask yourself this Question - If I look at my wedding photos and /or Video in 20 years and see my Bride's maids dressed in Canary yellow, puke brown, and Fuchia, can I summon enough internal fortitude to not beat this moron over the head with a skillet? Was it really such a good idea to show up to my own wedding and cheer my Vows? - I DO, I DO, IIIIIII  DOOOOOOO!!! Yay!!! Go team, Beat State!!!!!!  Where does it end Shay? Did the Officiant have to be the college's mascot? For the love of god, listen to your friends.

P.S. What the hell's up with capitalizing every other letter in your name and Signature? - this should have ceased after High School


EMT - I'm not here to save your life, just prolong your miserable existence

Reply


kroberts Posts : 443 Registered: 7/30/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 28, 2008 11:05 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

KelleyKelley - My advice to you is to trick 'em! Pretend you're going to go see some action packed movie or go get some ice cream and casually make your way to the doctor's office...All the while talking to him in a nice, soothing, gentle, and calm voice. "Okay honey. We're going for a ride! Are you ready to go get a treat? Oh look at you, you're so cute." If he realizes where you're going, try some slight of hand, "Oh, I promise. This is where the new candy shop opened. All the girls at work were talking about it."

Good luck!


April 4, 2009 is the BIG day!

Reply


ShAyNBrAnDoN Posts : 75 Registered: 6/18/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 29, 2008 8:39 AM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

Well at least you figured out that my name isn't shayn as most people assume that it is and not shay n brandon, anyhow the colors are Red and white ( i chose to change white with silver) no mascots or even university logos just the colors. I didn't want to make Fh rock pink on his wedding day... even though I would have loved to have pink and green... and the capital letter thing more of a habit than anything else I work with little kids so this is something we commonly use... Cool
CanT waIt To mArRy mY PriNcE ChArMinG

Reply


kelleyiskelley Posts : 11,590 Registered: 7/2/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 29, 2008 12:25 PM Go to message in response to: kroberts

"Okay honey. We're going for a ride! Are you ready to go get a treat? Oh look at you, you're so cute." If he realizes where you're going, try some slight of hand, "Oh, I promise. This is where the new candy shop opened. All the girls at work were talking about it."

LOVE IT K-roberts!!! Great plan. This may have actually worked -if you hadnt of POSTED IT HERE IN HIS THREAD FOR HIM TO READ LOL:) Now everytime we go anywhere, he is going to be all suspicious that its really the doctors office. LOL.


Check out the Wedding Buzz and My Blog @ www.myaislerunner.com

Time for Biggest Loser 7 where TEAM KEL -LIZZA will remain Champions of Weightloss!

"When you're born, you get a free ticket to the Freak Show. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat." - R.I.P. George Carlin

 

 

 

 

Reply


LittleRoo Posts : 1,054 Registered: 2/17/07
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 29, 2008 5:08 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley,

Thank you for the advice.  I told my friend what you said and she won't go near a fishnet teddy with a 10 foot pole.  She thinks that the reason her husband doesn't want to have sex with her is because of her weight.  Do you think that could be it?  What other possible reason would a warm-blooded male have for not initiating sex with his wife??

Thanks MisterKelley.  Your fee will be sent in an unmarked manilla envelope.  Watch your mail. 


Who's that little couple just sittin' on my wedding cake?

Go Kelliza--cha cha cha...and JAZZ HANDS!!

Reply

KristylovesPete Posts : 301 Registered: 3/2/08
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 30, 2008 12:31 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley-

I need to understand something about the way my FH thinks.  You see, at the beginning of the year he took a job that is 2 1/2 hrs from where I and many of his friends live.  This also happens to be the first time that he has ever lived by himself.  He has asked me to move in with him for quite a while but I have only recently been able to make the move (due to work and school).  Now the problem I'm having is that he seems to spend the majority of the time playing Age of Conan (he and his buddy got tired of WOW). 

None of this should surprise me since this is what he did when I came to spend the weekends with him but still, I thought he'd at least cut back on Conan when I finally moved in.  What gives?  Why stress to me how lonely it is to live by yourself and how you crave human interaction if you are always interacting with barbarians and assassins when I am living here? 

Thanks so much!  :-) 

 


 

I Love my Peter Pete Pete

 

Daisypath Wedding Ticker

Reply


MandyandVance Posts : 650 Registered: 4/10/06
Re: MisterKelleys no BS advice column
Posted: Jul 30, 2008 9:51 PM Go to message in response to: MisterKelley

MisterKelley,

Why is it that my DH can NEVER say sorry?  If he has done something or said something that has upset me he won't appologize.  Is that a man thing???  If he doesn't think I have a reason to be upset he won't say sorry.  It isn't the point that you don't understand, it is the point that you have hurt me.  He doesn't get it.

Can you offer a mans insight to this please?

Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine