"Will you marry me?" "NO!"

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firstweddinginn... Posts : 77 Registered: 9/15/07
"Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 18, 2008 9:24 PM

Im asking this question out of curiosity...has anybody turned DOWN a marriage proposal? I mean a real-one knee-with a ring-marriage proposal. I have had someone throw it out there to test my reaction and it was a no go. Lucky for me, the next guy that came along was a yes, yes, yes. But I have never heard of anyone in my life turning down a real REAL proposal. Dish the dirt ladies?

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cant wait to wear my dress!

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rqz7 Posts : 27 Registered: 12/2/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 18, 2008 9:29 PM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

This isn't terribly helpful, but I've known a few people who have broken off the engagement a few months later. Nobody who's turned it down from the start though.

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CGsPrincess86 Posts : 31 Registered: 3/26/08
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 18, 2008 9:32 PM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

I personally have never been proposed to so I'm not really any help but does any one remember that basketball game where the bf proposed in front of all these people to his gf on tv and she ran away?? She's someone that turned down a real proposal...well as far as every one knows I guess because I'm not really too sure what happened to those two after the game...

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FinallyMrsS Posts : 1,035 Registered: 3/29/08
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 18, 2008 9:40 PM Go to message in response to: CGsPrincess86

CGs that was actually a joke! I was watching the game with my bf and we were feeling so terrible for that guy. Then after the game my bf was online and they admitted it was a joke. I think it was on digg.com.

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firstweddinginn... Posts : 77 Registered: 9/15/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 18, 2008 9:41 PM Go to message in response to: CGsPrincess86

CG...your from Natick? I grew up in North Andover. Not so close together but I'm in Tampa now so it seems close in perspective. Back to the topic...keep the stories coming!

dress005-1.jpg picture by tashacopi

cant wait to wear my dress!

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davesbride621 Posts : 35 Registered: 12/13/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 1:50 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

I never have, but FH's cousin recently has...kinda. 

He went all out on a proposal, flower petals, private, fancy dinner, a very nice ring, the whole nine yards.  They both just graduated college and have been dating for a few years.  He proposed and she said "NO, I'm not ready to grow up yet."  Good for her, by not saying yes, when she isn't ready, but I feel bad for FH's cousin. 

They are still together and when she comes to his house, she wears the ring around, then takes it off and leaves it when she isn't there.  I think it crushes him everytime.


What good is a life, with no one to share,
the light of the moon, the honor of a swear. - Gavin DeGraw

On June 21, 2008, I will marry my best friend!!

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2BBauer Posts : 478 Registered: 12/15/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 2:57 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

FFIL actually proposed to a woman 30-something years ago and she said no.  I now wear the ring that he proposed to her with as my e-ring.  Worked out for the best though because he later met FMIL and they all lived happily ever after....
The first day of my happily ever after is 9-13-2008!!

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SocalGal Posts : 456 Registered: 6/3/06
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 5:10 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

I did (seriously). 

I had been dating this guy for roughly two months, but hadn't met his family, friends, anything.  I wasn't all that into him, but it was the first relationship I had ever been in, and I liked the idea that someone could actually be interested in me.  Actually, I had been comtemplating breaking it off with him, as I found that I was more interested in the new guy at work (who is now my husband!).  So, one night, he took me out to dinner, and then we went for a walk around the lake near my parent's house (I was still living at home).  I was shocked and horrified when he dropped to one knee and proposed.  I mean, I'd known him for two months, and hadn't yet even responded to his "I love you"s!  I felt terrible when I said no...he started crying, and I hate seeing people cry.  I broke up with him on the spot, because I didn't want to lead him on, and honestly, I was a little freaked out. 

I started dating my now husband about a month later (wow, that kinda makes me sound like a skank), and, from what I've heard, the guy I turned down has since proposed to TWO OTHER GIRLS!  I guess he just really wants to get married.  But I don't feel bad about turning him down...in fact, it's kind of a running joke among my circle of friends.  The only thing that bothers me is that I feel like he stole my husband's thunder...when he proposed (and a much better proposal it was!), it wasn't the first time I'd heard the phrase "will you marry me"...I'd already been asked before.  But oh well...it makes for a good story!

 


True love never has a happy ending; true love never ends.

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RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 5:33 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

Hey first...

You're from North Andover?? Funny-I grew up in Billerica! I've lived on the No. Andover/Tewksbury line, Lowell and Chelmsford.

I have been proposed to three times. The first guy I said no because (for me) I was too young (26), then again at 35 (actually twice by this guy). I had a feeling I would have been "settling". Third time's a charm at 40! 


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Brookitacita Posts : 59 Registered: 12/4/06
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 6:06 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

Well, I don't know anyone who has turned down a proposal, but I have a funny story that's kind of the opposite! My FH, quite a few years ago (long before we met) was dating this girl. One night they were at a party or something and he was really drunk and she was taking care of him, and he said something about her being a good wife one day. The next day she's super ecstatic and comes to him after telling her mother that he proposed to her! He, of course, was very confused. He didn't want to hurt her feelings, so he basically said "Well, if I said I'll marry you then I guess I will..." Unfortunately for her, he never wanted to marry her and just felt obligated to. He broke up with her a couple years later.

It kind of shows you the dangers of being so eager to become engaged that you jump the gun and accept a proposal that never happened. That kind of worries me about some of the girls here that aren't engaged yet but are "sure it's going to happen." It's not that I think it won't, but just be careful.

I have the honor of being the first and only girl FH has ever proposed to! I feel so special!

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CyndixRichie Posts : 70 Registered: 10/22/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 10:42 AM Go to message in response to: Brookitacita

I almost had to say no to a proposal. This guy I was dating for about a year was talking about how his friend wanted to propose to his girlfriend of many years at this club on halloween. He was going to sing to her on the stage (it was a whatever you want to be club that we went to all the time and had a stage for "shows") I thought a little about it but was kinda naive at that point. He had asked me what I thought our song was and we had talked about getting married a little sometime after I had graduated college (I was a senior at that point) We were at dinner one night and he was talking about it and I just said "yeah I don't want to be engaged any time soon" On Halloween he had totally set me up for his friend to propose but actually HE was going to!!! He called me down on the stage and sang to me with his friends (it was ok) and said "I know you don't want to be engaged anytime soon but (got down on one knee) I promise myself to you"  etc etc. I don't remember what else he said but I was just pretending to hug him but actually pulling him off his knee! I took the ring and pretended to cry, (yay for being a theatre major) mostly because I was horrified, the place was packed) and I had actually thought about it and if he proposed I was going to say no and walk out of the club!!  I found out a few months later that he actually had the engagement ring and took it back for a promise ring!! What do you say to the store clerk then?? Uh my GF didn't want this can I trade it for something else? I have no idea what it looked like but I can't imagine it was much he was pretty much living off of me and I wasn't giving him money for it! OH and turns out when Parents weekend was at my college (before halloween) my mom and him were actually arguing about it (I knew they were arguing about something that day) She knew I didn't want him to propose! I broke off the promise within a year later! AND he got one of our friends pregnant right after we broke up!! (Oh and my FI and I met doing a show while the ex and I were together but I didn't know he had a crush on me then! We stayed friends for 5 years before I gave him the time to date him! Thank god he was patient!!!) so there's my kinda not quite proposal story... and FI didn't really propose to me we just agreed one night we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together...



"Reach out and open the door that no one thought could be opened. Life is behind it! We don't have an eternity to realize our dreams only the time we are here. If you risk nothing then you risk everything"

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B2B999 Posts : 700 Registered: 12/7/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 11:56 AM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

I am apparently one of the very few who have had to do this, and to be honest it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

I was dating a guy for about a year and 1/2 and we were practically living together (it was in college so I technically had a dorm room on campus but as my roommate commandered my bed to make hers a king I think you get the idea of how often I was there.)

It was a wonderful relationship and I truly loved him. At the end of fall semester of my sophomore year he was graduating and planned to move down South to go and work for the family business. His family was ridiculously wealthy and his parents were going to buy us a home (and had in fact already purchased it for him and his FW) It was on a block in which his parents lived, and his two older brothers and their wives. His mother, and his two SILs all did charity work and raised cairn terriers. They were all completely dependent upon this husbands.

The proposal was so sweet. He made me CD of all "our" songs and made us an amazing dinner, there must of been 200 roses in our bedroom, rose petals, candles. At the end of the CD he had recorded his proposal and he got down on both knees next to me and presented me with the biggest ring I had ever seen in my life.

I told him that I loved him and that I would love to marry him but that I wanted to wait until I was done with school. I knew I wanted to go on and finish not only my bachelor's but also continue on to graduate school. I did not want to raise cairn terriers. I do not believe in being engaged just to be engaged I thought you should be actively planning the wedding. He told me he didn't want me to continue my education, he wanted me to move with him down to his parents and we could move into the house and I could plan the wedding and we would get married. He kept telling me I didn't need to work.

His two brothers had both come home from college with fiancees and there is not a doubt in my mind that he thought that was what he was supposed to do too. He didn't even like his father's business but knew that he was supposed to go and work there after college. I never even had the ring on my hand. I told him I loved him but that I couldn't marry him because I wasn't who he wanted me to be and I could never be that woman for him.

As it was the end of the semester all of my stuff was already packed and most of it had already been moved out and was in my car to leave the next day so I went and gathered the last of my stuff, kissed him goodbye and left.

He mailed me the CD he had made for me. I stalked him online and found out that after me he decided to pursue HIS dreams rather then just do what he was supposed to. I don't know if he has found someone new but I hope he is happy.

Other then when my father was sick and died I have never cried harder then that night lying on my friend's couch. I thought about going back to him many many times and worried that I had made the wrong decision. It was very difficult and something I would never wish on anyone.


When is my wedding

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firstweddinginn... Posts : 77 Registered: 9/15/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 12:17 PM Go to message in response to: B2B999

B2B...thats a horrible story! lol...i was looking for fun stuff and you posted such a debbie downer! i was almost crying right there as i was reading it! I see you are getting married but the way you phrased everything in your story sounds like you are a sentimental person who 'loves someone always if you loved them once.' Your story makes me want to run off and find your man and make sure he's ok. Though Im sure a guy as rich and kind as he is cant be single for long, Im sure he is genuinely happy now and has nothing but very fond feelings toward you. Thank you for your story, keep them coming everyone..but no making me cry!

 


dress005-1.jpg picture by tashacopi

cant wait to wear my dress!

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allbusiness Posts : 106 Registered: 7/17/07
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 3:14 PM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

a girl i used to work with turned down her now DH twice b/c the ring was too small for her taste.  like an idiot he went back a second AND third time, until he finally found a ring that would suit her.  now she just cheats on him and spends his money.  he's a pretty nice guy.  she's a real piece of work. 

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NewMrsSass Posts : 722 Registered: 12/31/06
Re: "Will you marry me?" "NO!"
Posted: May 19, 2008 3:22 PM Go to message in response to: firstweddinginn...

Before meeting FH when I was 19, I was seriously dating a guy for about 3 years.  When I decided I wanted to be with FH, I broke it off...or at least, I tried.  My ex didn't like taking "no" for an answer.  He would show up at my house, my college, etc. begging me to come back to him.  I felt super bad for him because he didn't see our break up coming at all and was really bent out of shape about it.  Well, when I finally just blurted out to him that FH and I were VERY serious and I truly thought I would end up marrying him...the ex proposed!  He thought I'd say yes so much that his parents had an engagement party ready when we were supposed to show up.  Ex showed up alone.  I felt soooooo guilty until he went a little crazy on me.  That was over 4 years ago...luckily the ex got over it, even enough to tell me and FH congrats.


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