Since we're talking about whether expensive weddings are worth it or not, I'll throw in my two cents. Like I said earlier, it's all relative, though. Everyone defines 'expensive wedding' differently. And when we find what we want at a certain price, we tend to think, 'Why would anyone need more than this? This is PERFECT, and it only costs X!' If you think that what you got is perfect, then of course you'll think that anything more is a waste of money...but it's important to remember that everybody's TASTE is different, prices vary by geographic location, and everybody makes different amounts of money in the first place, so we all have different ideas about 'normal' amounts to spend on stuff.
I'm going to use my boss as an example, because we're each totally perplexed by the other's spending priorities. My boss is spending 7K to go to a sporting event next year (including tickets, travel, hotel, etc) and I think she's ABSOLUTELY INSANE for it. On the other side of it, she CONSTANTLY comments on my shoes, and how she thinks I'm INSANE for buying expensive ones when I could just go to the Payless around the corner. I could go on and on, but the point is that we all having different things that we splurge on.
In planning our wedding, I never thought to myself, 'I have X amount, so I have to make sure I spend it all,' and I also never thought, 'I have to make sure I get the cheapest stuff possible, because spending a cent more than absolutely necessary is wasteful.' I looked for things that I liked, that I thought were fairly priced for my area (which has a very high cost of living). I'll use the example of my flowers. I asked about calla lilies first, because I like them. My florist told me that they go for $8/stem. After quickly calculating that my bouquet alone would cost $160, I said, 'No, I don't think that's worth it. What about Asiatic lilies?' Upon finding out that my bouquet would be $70 if I went with THEM, I said, 'Yep - that seems reasonable. Let's do that.' Could I have found another flower (or another florist) that could do a bouquet for me for cheaper? I'm sure I could. Do I CARE? Not at all. I found something I liked at a price that I thought was fair - so it's not a waste of money to ME.
Ultimately, it comes down to whether the person who is PAYING for it thinks it's worth it or not. Sometimes I think people are CRAZY for spending X amount on whatever they spend it on...but who am I to tell them whether it is worth it or not? It's not my money being spent and not my whatever it is that they bought with it. How do I know whether it's worth it to them or not?
ArtB- I love your outlook on the whole spending money thing. I agree that it is one's own personal decision to spend on whatever their guilty pleasure is in life. (I'm with you on the shoes and I have different styles of shoes in the same color.) My SIL is addicted to Victoria's Secret. And I don't get paying $50 for a bra and $12 for undies. So, to each their own.
With our wedding, my splurge was the food. I know I've complained and complained that $80-100/head (including alcohol and them making the cake) is silly......but when we had our first dinner at the hotel, I really liked having more local seafood rather than a carving station. Seafood = $$$$. lol But since a lot of our family isn't from here, you haven't eaten proper Florida Grouper unitl you have eaten it here.
Do I feel guilty? Nope. I'm making up for it with so many other DIY ideas that I'm still a frugal bride.
6 days until your wedding!!! How are you feeling!???!
Yeah, we splurged on food, too. I know a lot of people don't, but it was a priority for us. And wine - I upgraded the wines because I like good quality wines. I don't really care whether anyone else thinks it's worth it or not. :)
I also hate DIY projects. I only tried one (my now-infamous dreaded TULLE project), and it would have been SO WORTH IT to me to have paid someone else to do it. I know that a lot of people enjoy DIY projects and save lots of money by doing them. Personally, I'd prefer to pay more and NOT have to do it myself - therefore, it is worth it to me to NOT make my own pew bows, etc. I kept my costs reasonable (what I considered to be reasonable) by skipping stuff that we didn't care about and keeping the guest list to the people that we REALLY care about.
Everything going Ok, Mushaboo - thanks for asking. I had a rough day on Friday with some family drama on FH's side, but it all resolved itself, so it's all good now. It's really just a matter of waiting 'til Saturday, at this point. I'm working today and tomorrow and then I'm off until a week after the wedding. I'm not sure what I'm going to do on Wed and Thurs, but there's no point in working, since I'm not going to get anything done if I do go. My brain has officially checked out and is now no longer capable of any thoughts except, 'Next week at this time, we'll be MARRIED!'