So I pissed my husband off...now what

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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 11:55 AM

Ok, so I'm on facebook and so are alot of guys I messed with in college.  College almost 4 years ago....  Ok, so one posted a status that went something like 'you know it's big when it hangs out the bottom of your gym shorts' or some shit.  Yeah, it was probably inappropriate for me to respond but I wrote 'what's up with the status? how's the fam?'  I never talk to this guy, this is probably the first time in 2 years (since the big communication with exes fight), other than him telling us congrats on the wedding.  I have had no sexual dealings with this cat in like 6 years.  But now DH is mad.  I can understand it to an extent, but then we go back to the 'you asked me to stop talking to my ex-wife, but you are still talking to this cat on the low.' First off, it wasn't on the low.  It was on my wall for all to see, I wasn't trying to hide it or anything.  And it happened almost a month ago.  And in order to see what the status was he had to do some digging.  I'm a little irritated by it, but what really pissed me off is that he sent me a message on Facebook instead of calling me.  I apologized, sincerely, I guess I just had bad judgement on making the post.  How can I fix this if it needs to be fixed?  He has to work tonight, so he won't be there when I get home and I will be sleep once he makes it home.  So this will fester for at least a day and a half.

 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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MrsDupont Posts : 1,574 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:35 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

hmm... i wonder why no one has commented on this?

did you delete all those "guys" from your facebook friends?

He does have the right to be mad... your a married woman and you told him to no talk to his ex you should follow your rules... even if was on the down low or not...

Its only fair.

maybe delete your face book all together?


LLAMA JJAMMIES  

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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:46 PM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

Yeah, that's what I was thinking, but he would only get more suspicious if I did that.  We are on the phone now.  We talked and I figured to just let him get over it on his own.  Thanks for responding though.

 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:47 PM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

You and your husband need to sit down and set out some guidelines together. I don't know the whole story of the ex-wife of course, but the rules should be the same for both ie no contact with exes or maybe no in person contact but email okay. Other examples might be contact is okay but no mention of anything sexual. Most guys don't want to hear about their wives ex's penis especially if it is hanging out the shorts. My husband and i set up some guidelines because i am new to the country and I don't know anyone but i don't want to write off potential friendships with half the population for fear of jealousy. Any time I am in doubt (ie i am on facebook too and some times people from the past pop up) i ask my husband first then proceed. The guidelines are working very well. Last but not least you might have to fester a little because this is a conversation that should take place in person. So much can be lost in translation through online communication.

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EmSer Posts : 68 Registered: 3/21/08
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:49 PM Go to message in response to: MrsDupont

Hmm not sure about this one.
When me and FH first started talking/dating, I was still in contact with my ex-boyfriend on and off and FH really had a problem with it. I didn't understand why he did and we had a big fight about it. I resolved that my relationship with FH was way more important then relationship with ex so I did what FH wanted, I'm never gonna end up with ex anyway and pursuing a relationship with him is not too important to me, what's the point? It was hard not to talk to him, because to me it seemed rude, especially after how long we'd known each other. But ex got the point without me directly telling him. The last time I talked to ex, it was a very fast convo (as I ended it quickly) and when I told FH he wasn't upset because he knows I was respecting him by ending the convo and not pursuing a convo with him. Men ultimately want to be respected even when they're not around. When they know that's happening, they are way easier to be around! 
Handle it delicately, try to understand where he's coming from and why he's upset about it. It may be very legitimate. When FH told me his reasoning, I was totally in agreement.

 

I Become Mrs.S on May 25!!!


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CyclistLover Posts : 1,183 Registered: 7/9/07
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:56 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

We had 4 of DH's ex-friends at our wedding reception!!  It was kind of strange at first but 2 of these girls have turned into good friends. 

Happiness is a puppy greeting you at the door

AND

Llama Jjamas

 

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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:56 PM Go to message in response to: EmSer

Unfortunately, I think the major issue is that DH and I were friends for 8 years before we got together.  So we know almost too much about each other's past.  Like I said though I don't talk to any of my exs, and I made a lot of these people my friend on facebook before we got together.  Since I never or hardly ever talk to these people when we got together I just didn't think about deleting them.  Kind of like the pictures thing we went through.  I had/have a major problem with MIL still having pics of the ex on the walls in her house.  Well, DH was like 'you still have pics of guys you dated in your photo alubm'  Well, I never look in that album, so I never thought about the pics, but to please him, I threw them all away. Even pics of guys I didn't date, simply because he assume just because I have male friends from college I slept with them. But the pics of the ex are still on the walls at his mother's house.

 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 12:57 PM Go to message in response to: CyclistLover

That would have never happened!!  Unfortunately though, it may next year, because my BFF is getting married and she is still good friends with a few of my exes.  That should be interesting...

 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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m2810 Posts : 45 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 1:44 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

I guess this is one of those things that you have to put urself in his place. What if the roles where reversed and the SAME thing happened? Where  he responded to one of his exes status that said something about HER "GIRLS" HANGING out of her bra. What would be the procedure that he would have to take in order to prove to you that it meant nothing??? Maybe you should do what you think would work for you.

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Guest
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: m2810

Yeah  . . .  just get off Facebook for a while. I just had this same issue with the FH. He told me that I was addicted to it! Just get off for a while! And go back after it dies down. 

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Guest
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 2:27 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH and I used to fight about MySpace all the time, because several of my exes were "friends" on there.  In the end, I decided it just wasn't worth it - I deleted MySpace all together.  I figured anyone who is my "true" friend would talk to me away from MySpace, and it probably increased my productivity at work a ton!  :)

Valerie

Wedding Date:  September 27, 2008

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ChrissLady Posts : 1,352 Registered: 4/5/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 2:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I was reading this article on MSN about guys and girls becoming stalkers on Facebook and Myspace. It's crazy!!


 

WWW.MYWEDDING.COM/CHRISTOPHERANDMONICA

 

 

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BirdLover Posts : 2,834 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:49 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

I don't really understand jealousy, so I might not be much help here, but I really don't see that you did anything wrong.  Some exes are exes for a reason, and others are friends who you just happened to date at one point.  Clearly I don't know your situation, but I think that your husband over reacted a bit.

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TanisJ Posts : 2,669 Registered: 4/25/07
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 3:53 PM Go to message in response to: BirdLover

I am still convinced it was the 'you know it's big when it hangs out the bottom of your gym shorts' status that did it. just stay away from the genital talk and you should be okay. obviously you didn't start it, but you noticed he was talking about it.

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FALLbrideINLOVE Posts : 1,056 Registered: 3/30/07
Re: So I pissed my husband off...now what
Posted: Apr 2, 2008 6:04 PM Go to message in response to: ChrissLady

i don't think it is a big deal at all.  doesn't sound like you did anything wrong.  a tiny bit of jealousy never hurt anyone, let your DH get over it in his own time.  obviously he knows he has a good woman.

 

 

a comment on facebook is not the same as continued communications with an ex spouse.

 

 



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