I want to be a foster mom

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RDWM Posts : 1,354 Registered: 9/27/06
I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 12, 2008 12:00 AM

I want a little kid to warp. I am tired of warping the 2 I have. One is 20 and the other is 19. DH and I decided not to have any natural babies and he got neutered. 

I only have 3 bedrooms and they are all in use. When we finally move the boy wont go with us so I will have at least one empty bedroom at that time. My daughter has a drug felony and a theft felony. It may be hard to get a license with her in the home and I am keeping her until she either leaves for college or gets married. She needs me and I don't care how old she's getting to be. She is a good girl. She is in treatment, goes to school full time, goes to 12 step meetings, volunteers at the recovery club on the entertainment committee. She has bi polar disorder and is taking the right meds on her won for the first time ever. 

Right before my daughter came home I got a toddler bed. I finally gave it away to a  refuge organization. That was very hard to do. A little kid didn't have a bed though so what could I do. It was just wasting away in my garage.

The whole family has wanted my DH to be a father. He is the best uncle. My daughter is now dating one of his ex gf's sons and he remembers my DH teaching him how to fish and how to skip rocks. He used to make my kids initial pancakes and taught them to fish too. He took care of my babies the Christmas that was days after my moms death so they could escape my misery and have some fun. All the nieces and nephews spend part of their summers with us. He has never had any children of his own and wont. 

My kids dad is a piece of sh*t. I had to raise my babies alone. I want to take care of a child with a good man. I want to see what it's like to love a child in a 2 parent house. i want to hear a childs laughter. I want the easter bunny and Santa to come back.

I have been told that we can probably be licensed to take American Indian kids. We just need a bigger house. That would be nice. We go to pow wows, follow tribal beliefs in our home, and all that jazz. 

I am just whining because I am tired of being patient. I want a little kid and I want one now. There is a serious foster home shortage too so I don't feel bad about being impatient. I think I should be impatient. 

I'm posting this here because no one ever reads the posts over here. I would love some guests at my pity party but I will be okay soon either way I'm sure. Well not really, but I will be able to get it back under control.  


Danille


Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and that last fish has been caught
will we realize that we can't eat money.
- Cree Proverb

 

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Guest
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 12, 2008 11:25 AM Go to message in response to: RDWM

i've always thought about being a foster parent as well. I just don't want to get attached and then have the child to be adopted and taken from me. I would have to adopt the child. So i figured that adoption would be the better choice for me. I say if you DH agrees with you why not go for it. There are so many children who need parents in there life.
wedding count down  

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futuremrsperry Posts : 1,904 Registered: 4/23/06
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 12, 2008 3:55 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

That's what I am thinking too.  I teach 6th grade and some of the students are being fostered.  One of the students has 3 siblings and all of them are living with different families.  Because they are teenagers not alot of people will take them.... It is sooo sad!!!  They  are such great kids!  But we live in an apartment right now and really don't know what we are going to be doing with school and where we are going to live in the next few years.  

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RDWM Posts : 1,354 Registered: 9/27/06
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 12, 2008 4:03 PM Go to message in response to: futuremrsperry

I certainly will as soon as either we get moved or my son moves out. I'm just feeling impatient right now.

Danille


Only when the last tree has died
and the last river has been poisoned
and that last fish has been caught
will we realize that we can't eat money.
- Cree Proverb

 

Reply


DoubleGreen Posts : 285 Registered: 8/12/07
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 14, 2008 12:01 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

One of the students has 3 siblings and all of them are living with different families.  Because they are teenagers not alot of people will take them.... It is sooo sad!!!  They  are such great kids!

I share your sympathy, but you can blame the negligence on the horror stories where the teen turns on the foster parents in some way.


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BoysMissLady Posts : 932 Registered: 1/18/07
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 14, 2008 12:16 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

Wow!  What an attention getter!  I started reading this post b/c you said your DH got neutered...lol!

I'm 27, single, and living with my mom so I know I don't qualify.  But I have been seriously thinking about adopting.  I LOVE children!  I do plan to have some of my own, but I know there are so many children out there who need loving parents...

Good luck!!


Kiss 

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savex389 Posts : 506 Registered: 8/10/07
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 25, 2008 1:57 PM Go to message in response to: BoysMissLady

i want to do it too, but my DH isn't too keen on the idea. before i was born my mom did it for a little while and told me a really sad story. they took in a younger boy, probably about 4, and he would always open my mom's fridge and say, "where are all your gold cans?" his mom was an alcoholic and didn't treat him very nice. my mom said he was the hardest one to have because he always said such sad things.  

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LinzZ Posts : 683 Registered: 12/13/07
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 29, 2008 11:32 AM Go to message in response to: savex389

I want to do this, too. But just like Savex, my DH isn't into it.I want help a child in a way that I can't as a teacher. In school, you can only do so much, but if I were a foster parent, I could show the child a home life they would be so comfortable with and show them adults who care for them. It breaks my heart to hear some of their stories.

 

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OrthoRN Posts : 323 Registered: 11/24/07
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Mar 29, 2008 1:10 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

For all of you wishing to help a child but cannot do so in your own physical environment now, check out www.compassion.com . You can sponsor a child from your choice of country for about $30/month. You correspond with them about 3 times a year. It is such a good feeling to know you are helping provide food, clothing, & schooling.

 


Message was edited by: OrthoRN

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Kellster Posts : 5 Registered: 2/10/08
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: May 2, 2008 2:00 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

Ok So I personally do not want to be a foster mom but I work for the agency that places the children in the foster homes. I work for DYfs (for those of you who live in Nj you know what that is) it is also called the department of children and families. We get referrals that children are being abused or neglected and we go out and do an investigation and sometimes remove children and place them in resource homes. So what I wanted to say is every state is in dire need of foster homes. You have to go through a licensing program where they perform a very thorough background check on you, you have to get finger printed and go through classes. I am only 23 and am not married yet, will be sept '09, and I encourage anyone who is interested to really look into it in your own state. It can be very rewarding and just think you are making the difference in a child's life and the children are our future. I know it is very hard having to say good bye and let the child go after awhile but just think of all the great times you can have with that child before that point. Also just a suggestion to someone who does have foster children or will... foster children have been neglected and feel like no one will love them the way they are. Keep this in mind when they are acting out and rebelling against you. They are testing you to see if you will still love them even when they are bad. Just keep telling them that you are not going to quit on them and that they are not leaving and eventually they will believe you. Once they believe you their behavior will also get better. I wanted to make a comment to the poster who said that her daughter has a history. This does not necessarily mean that you would not be able to have a foster child, atleast not in my state. There are ways around it, you said she is in treatment is going to meetings and is working full time. If you can get good reports from all of these places she is invovled in you could be a foster parent still.
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MikeJones11 Posts : 5 Registered: 9/14/13
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Sep 14, 2013 5:11 AM Go to message in response to: RDWM
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weddingspy27 Posts : 16 Registered: 12/10/13
Re: I want to be a foster mom
Posted: Apr 20, 2014 4:15 PM Go to message in response to: RDWM

Best wishes for your plan! Indeed, kids add joy to a family.

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