Getting very frustrated at boyfriend

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amberstar Posts : 38 Registered: 6/17/06
Getting very frustrated at boyfriend
Posted: Feb 15, 2008 2:15 PM

Okay ladies, I need advice-

Backstory- My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 8 years and we have lived together for 2- Valentines Day of 2007 I asked him to marry me- he said yes, but that we wanted to do it offically with the ring- therefore, we have not told our parents or friends- he told me it would happen soon-

well a year later and still no proposal!!! i dont even what a ring, i just want the question- and its not a money thing (even if it was, he has had a year to save)

Im not really sure what to do anymore- I dont want to pressure him, but i dont want to wait any longer- i have been ready to get married for 4 years now- and Im starting to feel like the only reason he said yes was to not hurt my feelings-

should i give up??

should i ask him again??

 should i pick a date and start planning??

im starting to feel very hurt- and i know people are going to say he is just  waiting to suprise me, but i am hoping a praying every day and i will continue until he asks and i do something-

please help



CaribbeanBride08 Posts : 1,474 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: Getting very frustrated at boyfriend
Posted: Feb 15, 2008 2:30 PM Go to message in response to: amberstar

How old are you Amber?  I'm sure to some people age isn't going to matter but my response will be different based on your age.  For instance, if you're pushing 30, then I'd say you're with a commitment phobe and you need to move on.  But if you're in your early 20's then I think you have time to wait and would advise you to not give up on him so soon.  Men don't mature as quickly as we do and getting married is a very mature decision to make.  


Daisypath Ticker


08divabride Posts : 831 Registered: 11/17/07
Re: Getting very frustrated at boyfriend
Posted: Feb 17, 2008 10:34 PM Go to message in response to: amberstar

If you already asked him, why are you waiting for him to ask you?  If you feel like he should propose to you, then you should have waited for him to propose.  I am not trying to sound harsh, but why is he waiting a year to propose after your proposal.  I really think you should sit down and talk with your fiance, and let him know how you feel about him, the relationship, and your future together.  I hope everything works out for you and good luck!

I will marry my Stinka on September 27, 2008!  The one I laugh with, live for, love!


farre11kat Posts : 5 Registered: 2/12/08
Re: Getting very frustrated at boyfriend
Posted: Feb 18, 2008 2:38 AM Go to message in response to: 08divabride

I know exactly how you feel!!! I'm 27 and waited 7 1/2 years for a proposal. My boyfriend had been sitting on my engagement ring for over a year. I orchastrated the purchase of it (my aunt is a jeweler, and heaven forbid you buy from anyone but her.) so it was a little unorthadox...but I was only responding to his cry for help. I was expecting a proposal in pretty short order, and told all my friends about the ring. To my dismay, it was over a year and I ended up kind of looking like a fool, and spent most of that year trying not to have a complete melt down and making the non-proposal any worse than it already was. He ended up proposing awkwardly in our kitchen, of all places, and as much as I don't want to admit it, I'm TOTALLY bummed that he flaked out so badly. (Says he just couldn't think of a proposal that was "good enough" and in the end, I think, just wanted to get it over with.) Truthfully, I'm relieved that it's over, and relieved that he does indeed want to marry me....but the 3 years I spent feeling so badly about it, (and the lame story I have to keep telling my friends and family) are secretly not something that I'll forgive him for anytime soon. 

  Best of luck keeping it together. It was a struggle for me, but in the end it was worth the wait.





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