Reception after eloping...how long should I wait?

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KimberBride Posts : 8 Registered: 8/22/07
Reception after eloping...how long should I wait?
Posted: Jan 17, 2008 5:27 PM

After eloping how long after should you plan to have a reception with friends and family?  I was planning on sending announcments when we get back from eloping but how long should we give people so we are sure everyone will make it?

Message was edited by: KimberBride

Message was edited by: KimberBride

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Guest
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 17, 2008 5:36 PM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

What's the rush ? If you can't afford the wedding you want then wait. if you're happy to do the elopment thing and wouldn't miss the big shindig wedding too much than go for gold but you should give your mom's $2k back . A nice curtesy would be to talk about it first with your family and friends and only you can determine how their reaction (good or bad) will make you feel. They can only make you feel bad about your choice if you allow them to.

Please don't expect a parent to pay for the wedding of your dreams if thats what you really want. Your parents are individuals with their own hopes and dreams and I don't see weddings as their final act of parental responsibility.

Good luck.

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Reception after eloping...how long should I wait?
Posted: Jan 17, 2008 5:38 PM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

Dear Kimber,

You can have a wedding reception any time between immediately following the ceremony to a year later.

After a year, it's an anniversary party.

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KimberBride Posts : 8 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 17, 2008 5:42 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I don't expect my mom to pay for anything, she has always come to me telling me that she has no money (which is fine, that is how it has always been) to pay for my college or anything, which is fine with me but now she is spending upwards of $15,000 on one day. 

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 17, 2008 7:13 PM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

Dear Kimber,

Your mother can spend her money however she likes. Period.

****

From your various messages I gather that you want to have a nice wedding, along with the traditional bridal shower and reception. You just can't afford it.

My suggestion to you is to wait, and save up the money so you can do what you want. You talk about having a bridal shower, then eloping, then a reception. In other words, people are invited to parties where they give you gifts, but are not invited to the Main Event.

Eloping is fine. Many people elope when they don't want all the hoopla of a traditional wedding. Great for them.

But you DO want the hoopla! You want the shower and the reception. Thus, save up until you have enough money to put on a simple, but meaningful, wedding and reception where you can invite your family and close friends. Then hope someone offers a bridal shower and bachelorette party.

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KimberBride Posts : 8 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 18, 2008 10:32 AM Go to message in response to: auntofthebride

I see what you mean.  I am not trying to be greedy at all...the whole thought
behind us eloping is cutting out on the cost of the church, flowers,
photographer, cake etc. etc.  Our reception is going to be small; just family
and a few friends, no big fancy reception just us hanging out.  I'm sorry that I
may have come off that way.  I am not like that at all, I am just trying to find
a happy medium.  Thanks for all of your help auntofthebride!
I see what you mean.  I am not trying to be greedy at all...the whole thought behind us eloping is cutting out on the cost of the church, flowers, photographer, cake etc. etc.  Our reception is going to be small; just family and a few friends, no big fancy reception just us hanging out.  I'm sorry that I may have come off that way.  I am not like that at all, I am just trying to find  a happy medium.  Thanks for all of your help auntofthebride!

Message was edited by: KimberBride

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uno Posts : 619 Registered: 1/4/08
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 18, 2008 10:44 AM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

The ceremony is probably the cheapest part of the whole event so I don't know why you are wanting to do without but want everything else.  The main place to cut costs in my opinion is the reception.  Regardless of whether you get married in a church or not, why not have it early afternoon and have a small cake & punch or hor'dourve reception (with a limited bar - beer & wine, or without alcohol).  Keeping your guestlist small as possible and limiting the food & alcohol will be the "cheapest" way to go.  And depending on where you are at, the food prices/reception hall prices will vary.  I live in Indiana (super cheap aparently) and my full dinner buffet (fried chicken and all the sides) is only $7/person and our reception hall is $600.  Our guestlist is 300 which I thought was average but after reading these threads, apparently constitutes a large wedding - but it honestly includes all of our family & close friends.  But here it's cheap so we can afford to pay for all this.  My budget (everything included except honeymoon) is probably going to come in at or under $10k. 
Look around for places that allow you to bring in your own caterer or offer cheap appetizers and just have an early afternoon appetizer reception (not too close to dinner time) and then you can have the whole wedding extravaganza.  

There are tons of ways to save money - it may take more effort to find good deals, but it can be done!

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KimberBride Posts : 8 Registered: 8/22/07
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 18, 2008 11:16 AM Go to message in response to: uno

Thanks Jen0517.  I guess I need to continue to look around.  I have had no luck so far which is why there is all of the frustration but I will relax and hopefully something will come my way. 

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uno Posts : 619 Registered: 1/4/08
Re: Hurt Feelings...Elope??
Posted: Jan 18, 2008 11:34 AM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

When you look, stay away from hotels - they are the most expensive. I'd personally look for churches that have nice gyms, cafeterias or banquet rooms (even if you aren't a member they usually will still allow you to rent their rooms and around here, are most flexible about food prices or allowing you to bring in your own caterer).  Also look for like a town park or 4H center that has a banquet hall or room for rent, or even a place that has camping available (state park) they may have a log cabin room or something to rent. 

As far as food options (if you want to keep it simple) find a small restaurant or someone who does catering on the side (talk to people you know and see if they can recommend) or even go to a grocery or Walmart who does small sandwich platers, vege and fruit trays - they'll even do cakes! Hope I helped some.... but talk to people you know and see if they can recommend a place or get you in the door of their church or something!

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MrsTaraschi Posts : 190 Registered: 10/11/07
Re: Reception after eloping...how long should I wait?
Posted: Jan 18, 2008 11:39 AM Go to message in response to: KimberBride

hi

we are on a very limited budget and what we doing is having a garden ceremony at a bed and breakfast.  The package is for 25 people ( they also have for smaller amounts) which will work for our immediate families to attend.  The package includes the wedding officiant, flowers, photos, a champagne toast, cake, tea and coffee to follow the ceremony.  They also included the bridal suite for a night and $100 gift certificate at a local restaurant .  The whole thing is 2 hours start to finish and comes in at just under $2500 with some upgrades of flowers and an additional night at the B&B!

Good luck!


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