i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...

Online Users: 1,273 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 33

LadyBugBride Posts : 533 Registered: 4/14/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty...
Posted: Dec 29, 2007 1:42 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

I was with my FH/DH when he bought my wedding set and it still took him two months to propose. There were at least five "perfect" opportunities for him to "pop the question," but in the end, the actual proposal was totally perfect and so much better than any of the previous opportunities. Plus, it gave our officiant a really funny story to tell as part of our ceremony. Good Luck!!

Daisypath Ticker

Reply


deltagirl Posts : 516 Registered: 12/30/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty...
Posted: Dec 29, 2007 4:57 PM Go to message in response to: LadyBugBride

Be Patient!

That's a good sign that he was able to recognize that spending soo much money on himself was not exactly the right thing to do when your dream of being engaged was not fulfilled. He's a keeperLaughing


www.brides.com/weddingwebsite/trinaandron2008

 

Reply


myra Posts : 5,550 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty...
Posted: Dec 31, 2007 3:55 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

There's a lot of wisdom from the ladies above, but here's my two cents. You obviously have communicated your feelings about the spending (even if you didn't say a word!), and he has affirmed a commitment to you. But, "Just wait," really isn't a total answer either. I have know women who just waited--and waited, and waited, and waited. So, you don't have to give any ultimatums, but you do have to know your own bottom line and to figure out whether he really wants to get married and is just postponing, waiting for the "perfect time," (whatever that is) or whether he's really stalling. It does not hurt to communicate--not an ultimatum, but "These are my intentions--what are yours?"

Wait a comfortable amount of time--but if the months start to drag on, then you need to decide what works for you. And if eternal waiting is not it, then you need to say that, and either settle for what you have with him, or move on. And, if you're going to marry him, you need to talk about money, how it's going to be spent, who decides, and so on.

As far as the ring goes--being engaged has nothing to do with a ring. Rings are nice, they're great. But being engaged is about planning to be married. Rings are just jewelry.

myra at www.classysassyweddings.com

Reply

BB84 Posts : 388 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty...
Posted: Dec 31, 2007 4:09 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

Hello again!  I used to be KG23; we talked before when I was waiting.

I know how much waiting sucks, even if it isn't for that long.  I think it is great that your FH recognized the you were upset and tried to explain.  Hopefully he won't keep you waiting much longer.  Sorry I don't have more advice!

Reply

Bling3 Posts : 54 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty..with UPDATE: i REALLY screwed up
Posted: Jan 3, 2008 1:45 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

Before we got engaged. My boyfriend and I had a bet that if he bought a gun there had to be a ring at the end of it. He is an avid hunter. Well he called me at work one day in February and I happen to come out and say that the bet was over because I didn't want him to feel like I was forcing him into anything. Well, guess what.. He went out and bought a gun the same day. I kicked myself for it and we joked about it for months. Then he told me that he wanted this expensive camcorder for videotaping hunts and then said that he was not going to buy it until he bought my ring. Well in April he decided to purchase the camcorder. I had no ring yet. I got mad but I kept it to myself. In June he proposed and it turns out he had the ring for many months was was waiting for the perfect time.

What I am getting at is that you do not know for sure that he does not already have a ring for you.

 

I don't know any good way to make it up to him. Hurt feelings are hurt feelings and the only thing that will help is time and honesty. You need to trust him and show that you trust him. Show him you love him in your own unique way.Spending money is not going to help.

Reply


Jerseygal8785 Posts : 144 Registered: 12/5/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty..with UPDATE: i REALLY screwed up
Posted: Jan 3, 2008 1:52 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

Yikes - I would be pissed about the TV too . . .My FH wanted a new paino and new tv and new DVD surround system but yet we couldn't upgrade our room for the honeymoon (he finally caved by the way and we are in a suite) but it's not my post! Laughing So my advice, it sound's like he has something in mind and wants to make it perfect and mean something, so you need to quite about it in front of him and to make it up to him , I would suggest you surprise him with a special date.  Tell him to dress up and what time you will leave.  Then blind fold him in the car and go to a nice restaruant that you both always want to go.  Over a glass wine tell him how much you love him and that you are anxious about the wedding because you can't wait to be Mrs ______his last name.  That you can't wait for everyone to understand how much we are in love and now attached and that you will wait for his surprise he is planning. - Good Luck!


Reply


SoLovedBySHORTE Posts : 224 Registered: 6/13/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty bratty..with UPDATE: i REALLY screwed up
Posted: Jan 3, 2008 2:16 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

I would say just like PP BE PATIENT!!!!

My fh and I just like you all had been talking about marriage for a LONG time before were actually "officially engaged." We've dated for six years and it seemed like he would never ask me. He asked our parents and we were in marriage counselling long before he actually asked. We've been planning since March and he just proposed on Christmas Eve. Take it from me be patient. I pitched all kinds of fits through out these last few months and I made him miserable.....Now he tells me.

The night of the proposal he told me that everytime he went to the jeweler to make a deposit on the ring, I fussed at him about something to do with our future. The day he went to pick up the ring was the worst and he even contemplated proposing. That hurt me. I never wanted to make him feel that way. Never. So Amy please be patient and show him how much you love him everyday. Enjoy the state you're in in the relationship, you'll never be boyfriend and girlfriend again after you're engaged. He'll be your fiance. Hope I helped.


SMOOCHES!!! Love is Grand!

Reply


TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Jan 8, 2008 2:11 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

If he keeps saying he doesn't have the money foor a ring anf then goes out buys 3 grand worth of stuff then I can understand why you are so mad.  If Money was the issue then he wouldn't be getting all that stuff.  He is probably not ready yet but just doesn't want to come out and say it for fear you will be mad or something.  Although, he may have bought you a ring already and is just trying to surprise you.   I don't know...only he knows what's going through his head and what his reasons are.  You can always just sit down and talk to him calmly and tell him how you feel.

Reply


TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Jan 8, 2008 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

If he keeps saying he doesn't have the money foor a ring anf then goes out buys 3 grand worth of stuff then I can understand why you are so mad.  If Money was the issue then he wouldn't be getting all that stuff.  He is probably not ready yet but just doesn't want to come out and say it for fear you will be mad or something.  Although, he may have bought you a ring already and is just trying to surprise you.   I don't know...only he knows what's going through his head and what his reasons are.  You can always just sit down and talk to him calmly and tell him how you feel.

Reply


TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Jan 8, 2008 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

If he keeps saying he doesn't have the money foor a ring anf then goes out buys 3 grand worth of stuff then I can understand why you are so mad.  If Money was the issue then he wouldn't be getting all that stuff.  He is probably not ready yet but just doesn't want to come out and say it for fear you will be mad or something.  Although, he may have bought you a ring already and is just trying to surprise you.   I don't know...only he knows what's going through his head and what his reasons are.  You can always just sit down and talk to him calmly and tell him how you feel.

Reply


TattooedStarlit Posts : 202 Registered: 12/18/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Jan 8, 2008 2:12 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

If he keeps saying he doesn't have the money foor a ring anf then goes out buys 3 grand worth of stuff then I can understand why you are so mad.  If Money was the issue then he wouldn't be getting all that stuff.  He is probably not ready yet but just doesn't want to come out and say it for fear you will be mad or something.  Although, he may have bought you a ring already and is just trying to surprise you.   I don't know...only he knows what's going through his head and what his reasons are.  You can always just sit down and talk to him calmly and tell him how you feel.

Reply

1SexyBride2B Posts : 18 Registered: 9/13/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Feb 25, 2008 4:24 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

Wow!! I know exactly how you feel. My FH and I have been dating for 8+ years and been ring shopping 2 times in the last two years. At Christmas, he bought himself an $80k sports car...I nearly had a nervous breakdown and much like you I was completely unable to just ignore it and not say anything. When we did talk about it he assured me that there was a plan and that I shouldn't worry because it's coming, etc. etc. Waiting is hard when you want something so badly. Still waiting... Best wishes!


1SexyBride2B! Kiss

Reply

Angele Posts : 76 Registered: 8/15/07
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Feb 25, 2008 10:23 PM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

I waited a while for my engagement ring, but because I knew FI's finances were low (we live together as well, and I know where the money goes, bills, rent, etc.) I did not press him. However if he had just come home with a whole bunch of new toys for himself, hell yeah, I would have been pissed and he would not have heard the end of it. I think it's extremely unfair of your boyfriend to ask you to move in with the promise of a proposal and then proceed to parade his purchases in front of you while telling you the entire time that he doesn't have the money for a ring. Be upfront and tell him how you feel. It's a slap in the face every time he says "wait, I just don't have the money right now--but it's coming, I promise" hell no! if it's coming, then he can wait for his goodies until you get yours.

Reply


RanAway2Maine Posts : 2,359 Registered: 1/27/08
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Feb 26, 2008 7:20 AM Go to message in response to: Deletedhandle

I would show him this post! 

Message was edited by: RanAway2Maine

Reply

NewMrsSass Posts : 722 Registered: 12/31/06
Re: i'm probably going to sound pretty... PISSED OFF!!! another update...
Posted: Feb 26, 2008 8:40 AM Go to message in response to: RanAway2Maine

It sounds to me like he has already told you that he is not ready yet.  He told you that he "has a plan but it is not time yet."  He buys other stuff and not an engagement ring = engagement is not a priority = he is not ready yet.  He can't do much more to spell it out for you besides saying "I am not ready to marry you yet."  Yes, it sucks...but you cannot control how he feels or what he wants.  If he is not ready, and you cannot wait...time to re-evaluate the relationship.  You two seem like you are in two totally different places.


Reply
RSS

Thank You
for Signing Up!

Check your e-mail inbox for the latest updates from brides.com

Give a Subscription to Brides Magazine as a Gift
Subscribe to Brides magazine