Death of my flower girl

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Guest
Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:31 PM

My wedding in less then a month away and one of my flower girls has tragicly and unexpectedly died. Her name is in the program already and I am not removing it to honor her, but I need suggestions of what to do in the ceremony. She was my niece.  We are getting married in the Philippines in the Catholic Church.  She and her older sister were supposed to be my flower girls, but now I only have the one. Has this every happened to anyone else? I want to find an appropriate way to honor her in the ceremony but I just cant find the right way.  Help. 

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:37 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

WOW! I'm so sorry about your loss. I really don't have any help for you, just wanted to give you my condolances.


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Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:39 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

That is heartbreaking, for both you and the family.  You have my condolences. 

Have you talked with the parents about their feeling on the subject?  I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose a child, just thinking about losing one of my kids makes me want to curl up in a ball and beg for tranquilizers.  Different families react differently.  I know that if it were to happen in my family, we would probably significantly reduce the pomp and circumstance of the wedding, probably eliminating the flower girl and ring bearer roles altogether to not draw attention to the loss, and reduce the size of the wedding party.  I know that other families would want to move forward and not change the tradition to celebrate the lost loved one.

I wouldn't recommend making a formal recognition of the loss at the wedding itself (very conflicting array of emotions between death and a marriage), but would try to do something to recognize her at the reception in an appropriate, but not overly obvious way.  You could do this by putting her photo in a place of honor or having a moment of silence for her.


Love2uKiss

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:42 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Thank you.

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:44 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

Thank you so much. You helped me think of something great!  I can have her picture at the reception and instead of the bouquet toss, I'll give my flowers in honor of her memory!  What do you think?  Thanks again!

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:45 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I am so sorry for your loss!  I can't even imagine what your family is going through right now!  Would it be possible to have your Priest offer a prayer for her at some point during the ceremony?

Best wishes to you and your family.

 


"If we weren't all crazy we would go insane"  ~Jimmy Buffett

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:45 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

I am so sorry for you and your family!  It's so hard to imagine this loss!

 

Perhaps to represent her in a way, you could have her sister carry a single flower (or small bouquet) tied with ribbon and have the other sister's name written on the trailing ribbon... on something like this

Wedding Flowers Walsall West Midlands

that is if your flower girl is up to it - it may be too hard for her.


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JayJ Posts : 1,080 Registered: 4/22/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 2:49 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

wow, that's terrible! i am so sorry for your loss. :(

something i've heard of people doing to remember someone is have a seat for them and place a rose in it or something. maybe, if she could handle doing it, your other flower girl could carry 1 rose and place it in a chair in her honor. or you could do it if you'd prefer or you don't think her sister would be able to do it. or if you wanted it to be more personal, instead of the chair, you could hand the rose directly to her parents or use a specific flower that she loved instead of the rose.


MattAndJesy.com <3

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kennysoldwife Posts : 3,859 Registered: 4/28/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:15 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

So sorry for your loss.  My heart goes out to you, the parents and the rest of your family. 


 

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Guest
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:16 PM Go to message in response to: JayJ

How horrible... I'm so sorry for your loss, my prayers to you and your family.

I would definitely talk to the parents of the girl to see what they think. Some parents don't want it brought up in public at all. I stood up in a wedding where the bride's sister/MOH tragically died a month before the wedding.  She tried to think of things to do but her mom said she really just didn't want it brought out in public because people would come up to her and feel sorry for her, she just didn't want that.  Instead, the bride put a picture of her sister in a small locket and had that around her bouquet, and then next to the cake had a picture of her and her sister.  The priest mentioned the sister's name during the prayer, but that was it. It was a nice honor that the bride knew about, but didn't make it too big for the sake of the mother, as it was still too fresh of a wound for her mother to have to deal with.  Just a thought... my prayers to you all though.

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Love2u Posts : 1,661 Registered: 10/24/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:18 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

I think using her bouquest by her photo is a very touching and beautiful thought. 
Love2uKiss

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DoubleGreen Posts : 285 Registered: 8/12/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:49 PM Go to message in response to: Love2u

My friend's MIL died of cancer before her wedding. They honored her by placing an 8x10 portrait of her in the chair where she would sit. For the flower girl, a moment of silence should definantly be called for. I wish that I could think of another way other than placing an 8X10 somewhere or having a ringbearer carry her picture. You have my condolences.


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rubyred1 Posts : 968 Registered: 8/9/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 3:57 PM Go to message in response to: DoubleGreen

You could also light a candle in her memory/honor.  This could be placed somewhere at the reception or on the guest book table or somewhere less conspicuous.  I'm doing this for a very good friend of mine who died suddenly.

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Jen415 Posts : 255 Registered: 3/7/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 4:54 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

JJ - I am so sorry to hear about your family's loss.  I can't even imagine what you all are going through right now.

I like your idea with the bouquet and PP's idea about having the other flower girl (her sister) carry flowers with a ribbon bearing her name.  Along the same lines, if the girls were going to carry baskets, you could have her sister carry both baskets.  I also think lighting a candle at the beginning of the ceremony would be very touching and appropriate.

 


May 24, 2008
Daisypath Ticker

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MrsWhtrse04 Posts : 116 Registered: 3/1/07
Re: Death of my flower girl
Posted: Dec 14, 2007 7:34 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh wow, I am so sorry for your and your family's loss.

Anyways I know they have vases one wedding websites where you can put in loving memory of... or something like that. At one wedding I saw they honored one of the brothers by having a vases sitting on a table next to the stage where the ceremony was. But I also like the bouquet idea.

My FH's grandpa died a few years ago but it is still upsetting to FH that he is not here for his wedding so to honor his grandpa, fh is going to carry in a white rose and hand it to his grandma.


Message was edited by: whtrse04

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