My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2 years and we are 20 and 21. We plan on moving out of state next year so he can continue school and I will be finished with college. We knew since the beginning we would get married and when we went ring shopping together we found the perfect ring. We decided that I would help pick it out so he could get me exactly what I wanted and then he would surprise me with the engagement.
The problem is both of our moms, but his is worse than mine. They are both control freaks and want to control our lives and are never happy with our friends, achievements, and significant others. We have come to terms that we will never please them and we just need to be happy ourselves. His mom told him last year that if he ever lived with a girl or got engaged she would cut off his funding for school and since we are moving next year it's going to happen sooner or later.
So he wants to talk to his dad and tell him of his plans of proposing to me in the near future but he is afraid how everything will turn out. We are close with his Aunt and she said his mom is all talk and it will never come true but his family makes too much for him to get financial aid. We have paid for everything ourselves this summer and he will just need their help paying for school and his apartment during the school year. What should we do?
Posted: Jun 27, 2007 1:33 PMGo to messagein response to: spartygirl
Why the rush to get engaged/married? If his financial situation is dependant upon not being engaged or married and he is the right one for you, will he not be the right one for you in one or two years, when he has already graduated? I would wait, be happy that his mother is helping him with his finances, which will help the both of you later on in your marriage. Debt is no fun. Be patient, wait a little while, and get engaged after school is finished.
Message was edited by soonerangel on Jun 27, 2007 1:34 PM
The thing is he won't be done with school for 6 more years he is transferring to another school to get into the program he wants to get into. His mom believes he should not have a credit card or establish any source of financial stability on his own and that it's not important. I will be the sole provider except for the school and we are looking into possibly buying a house because it would be cheaper than paying rent and I would be able to pay for that and we could have some kind of credit for it. We are going to have to start making plans soon for moving out of state and they are going to take away funding (if that statement was true) as soon as she finds out. They know of us moving out of state but in her mind only he is moving and I'm staying here even though he keeps saying we... she told him he should live in the dorms again because that's what all the students do even though she knows i'm going too. His dad and his whole family besides his mom support us having a future together and have mentioned it numerous times. Also, I don't want to wait forever to get married when he is done with school because my great grand mother and his grandpa and step grandma are both near 90 and I want them to be present at the wedding as well because we are very close with them and would be upset if they could not spend our special day with us due to them being so important in our lives.