How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?

Online Users: 0 guest(s), 0 user(s). Replies: 64
Guest
How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 3:03 AM

Hi all,

am new to this board and have been addicted to it since, with so many new ideas... its a perfect site for brides Smile

Anyways, reason am writing? I need help on how to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only', to avoid sounding rude or harsh or offensive, is there a polite way than that?

I know that i wont need gifts as much as money due to reasons such as future migration plans, which would be a waste if am not able to use those gifts immediately once migrated and with the thought of moving around, shipping them ,etc, its can be a hassle.

I'll be sending out my invites by early next month, hope to get inputs from this board.

Thanks a bunch!

Mrs Maclaine-Cross tobe in 8 months

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071707 Posts : 313 Registered: 3/31/06
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 5:11 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

For my invitations I included a note inside the envelope which reads: As the bride and groom have already built a household over several years, .......(my name) and .....(fiance's name) would be delighted to receive a contribution towards their honeymoon in lieu of gifts. Please contact..... (travel agent) to arrange for your donation towards the bride and groom's romantic honeymoon.

 

And one wedding I went to they wrote something like this on their invites: A note about gifts; The bride and groom don't need many things but they do need a honeymoon, a gift of money would be appreciated.

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totobride Posts : 641 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 6:39 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I really don't think there is a polite way to word this.  If you really want to spread the word, I would request a family member spread the word quietly.  Good luck!

 

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Fallbride0715 Posts : 174 Registered: 3/22/07
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 7:48 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

In my country is common to add little cards to the invitations that say something like: we are pleased you share this special moment with us. If you want to give us something, we prefer money. Ussually this card have dollar symbols on it ($$)

Fallbride0715

http://www.GlitterMaker.com/ - Glitter Graphics

http://www.mywedding.com/anaandarmandoforever

 

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 9:06 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

at the risk of making people mad, i have always been told that there should be NO mention of gifts in the invite at all.  it isn't the same everywhere but in every etiquette book i have read and generally in my area/social group it is considered rude to write anything about gifts anywhere.  we tell our mohs and our mothers where we registered or if we prefer money and they circulate it around to everyone. it isn't ideal but it is the easiest way to not rumple feathers.



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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:01 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Oh How rude is that????  Asking for money??  That is extremely TACKY!!  If you cannot cover costs to move.......why are you spending money you could use for moving on a wedding?  It is like you are using your wedding to have your friends and family pay for expenses you are to cover yourself. 

And you should never expect ANYTHING for a gift.  If you had any family values, you would consider your friends and family attending the wedding a gift. 

Asking for money......give me a break.  How selfish.

It is like a situation I am in now.  I have someone telling me I am "obligated to send a cash gift of no less than $ 50 for a gift".....when it turns out the reason for that is the couple spent so much on the wedding, that they cannot cover closing costs on a house they want to buy.  Sorry, but no.  How tacky.  Please don't ask for money

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:13 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Here we go again..... people getting on their "high horse" and berating people! It needs to STOP!!! People come on here for ADVICE, not to be torn apart! Yes, I agree it isn't really polite to ask for cash, but everyone knows that for the most part people do bring gifts to weddings. If you have been in a house for years then there probably is not alot you need. I know my FH and I don't need a bunch of house stuff. I am however using our regisrty to ask for REALLY nice pans and knives. I LOVE to cook. The suggestion about contibutions to the honeymoon is good. That is polite and most people who know the bride and groom will understand why they are requesting that instead of gifts.  My other suggestion would be register for gift cards at stores that are all over the country.  I completly understand if you are moving you don't want even more stuff to move!  Good luckOP, this isn't an easy one!

CrystalCool June 20th 2008 I marry the person who "gets" me!!

http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10100;60/st/20080620/e/our+wedding%21%21%21%21+/dt/-

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:16 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Although I don't agree with alot of other etiquette subjects, I have to agree with some of the posters on this one. I don't think it's a good idea to ask for gifts in your invitations, let alone money. I think you should try to have your family members spread it by word of mouth. 
 

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:39 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

It's just plain tacky to ask for $$$.

I'm 37 own my own condo, live in the Virgin Islands and will be getting married in the states. I'm just hoping people will realize that do to logistics, that if they CHOOSE to give me a gift, money would be preferred. But in no way am I going to state it on an invitation. That's just plain rude.  If I get gifts I will happily ship them down here.

I am noticing more and more people giving $$ gifts anyway.  But there is something nice about saying so-n-so gave me this as a wedding present.  My mom still has (and uses daily) some bowls she got for a wedding present 39 years ago.  Sometime $$ just gets spent on stupid things.

Leave any mention of gifts off of invitations.

 

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jojolina Posts : 897 Registered: 2/28/07
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:48 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

hi kageey,

i think i have had an opportunity to read most of your posts here.  if i'm not wrong, you came on to this board because you are a guest that is angry that your child wasn't invited to your cousin's wedding and also angry that your aunt has been very demanding and telling you that you need to send her son and fw money for their wedding.  although, i can understand and sympathize with your frustration over these events, i have also seen you basically berate other brides here needlessly.  if you have anger about your own situation there is no need to use this forum and those brides that frequent it as your anger outlet.


 

www.mywedding.com/lorrieandchris

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lori83 Posts : 1,852 Registered: 3/30/06
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 10:49 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

I don't think there is a polite way to ask for money on your invitation unless you're asking your guests to donate to your favorite or even their favorite charity. 

My suggestion would be to not register anywhere or register somewhere that the gifts can be easily returned if you do not want them.

Have your mom and fh's mom know your wishes so that if anyone asks what you would like they can direct them towards a cash gift.

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 11:39 AM Go to message in response to: jojolina

I have not been berating other brides here needlessly.  I think some of the brides here do need a bit of a "reality check" yes.  I am also not mad about my children not being involved in my cousins wedding. 

For the reality check part.....if you have enough money to throw a wedding, then it is common sense to have enough to move or mail gifts back to where you are from.  A wedding should not be a "greed fest" to get people to furnish your home with expensive items, or to put a down payment on a house or to pay for a honeymoon.  Those are items that a couple should take pride in providing for themselves.  To ask for money only as a gift is plain RUDE.  It is tacky and suggests that the couple only threw the wedding to get items that they obviously can't afford.

Some people on these boards do need that reality check.   SORRY

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auntofthebride Posts : 9,354 Registered: 4/2/06
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 11:45 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

dear Elaine,

There is no polite way to direct your guests to give you cash. If you are planning on moving in the near future, then let that fact get around by word of mouth. Many guests will decide, without your prompting, that cash or a cash equivalent might be best.

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 11:49 AM Go to message in response to: Guest

Kageey

I have to agree with jojolina. You are not at all supportive. You ARE NOT a bride and only came on here in the first place to COMPLAIN. Stop knocking people who are on here for advice! You do not need to tear someone apart to state your opion. I REALLY think you need to GROW UP!! You're opinion is not welcome if all it is going to be is ripping apart people. And I am NOT saying this because I disagree with you completly. You need to get over your bitterness and act like an adult.   Like I said, I agree it is not good to ask for money. Word of mouth if people are asking family and friends that is different.


CrystalCool June 20th 2008 I marry the person who "gets" me!!

http://www.TickerFactory.com/">
http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;10100;60/st/20080620/e/our+wedding%21%21%21%21+/dt/-

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Guest
Re: How to word ' no gifts, cash/ money only' ?
Posted: May 10, 2007 12:11 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

Hi Elaine,

There is no polite way to ask for cash instead of other gifts. This is because, in theory, you should not be expecting gifts at all -- they are something your guests choose to give you out of the goodness of their hearts, not because there is an expectation on your behalf or a social obligation.

Telling your guests what you prefer to receive as a gift is telling them that you expect to receive a gift from them. This is considered rude in many places. Depending on where you are getting married, it just can't be done politely.

Good luck with everything else!

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