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Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??

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MisOctober Posts : 167 Registered: 5/2/07
Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 2, 2007 4:17 PM

I was wondering if guys still need to do that these days? Do the men ask their father-in -law -to- be for permission to marry his daughter? If so, how long before he purposes should this take place?

Thanks in advance for your help,

Missy

pennsylvania , october_2009
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Agum6 Posts : 476 Registered: 8/12/06
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 2, 2007 4:31 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

This really varies from family to family, so yes, it does happen still, but isn't so set in stone as it used to be.  My FH did ask my father to marry me but he didn't propose until 6 months later, I don't think its always that long, but we were visiting him in FL and Nathan probably knew he wouldn't see my Dad again for awhile, so....that's when he asked. 

                            Ashley & Nathan

                             May 26, 2007

                  

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Jen415 Posts : 255 Registered: 3/7/07
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 2, 2007 4:35 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

My FH asked my dad...the day he proposed!  FH tells me it was more of a "please give us your blessing" request than a "permission to marry your daughter, sir" request.  I do know my dad appreciated it though and both my parents gained even more respect for hubby-to-be.

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RomanticGirl Posts : 777 Registered: 3/28/06
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 2, 2007 4:38 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

Depends on the girl. I personally hate the idea because it comes from the concept that the woman is property and is exchanged between Father and future son in law. But some women really prefer that. So I think this comes down to knowing how conservative she is and her parents.

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LynndieHagen Posts : 47 Registered: 10/27/06
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 3, 2007 12:45 AM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

My FH did speak to my parents and explained his plans, when we wanted to get married, etc. I think it is a nice thing to let the parents at least know he is going to propose. When he spoke to them I was away at school and he said it wasn't any big formal thing. 

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MrsMinor4EnE Posts : 255 Registered: 4/7/07
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 3, 2007 6:00 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

It does all depend on family! I am very close to my family and FH knew this so he asked my father and mother. Then because of how close I am to my brothers he asked them as well. FH asked my brother (his best friend) the night before he proposed. and then the day he proposed he asked my mother and father before he went into work and called my other two brothers after. there is no set time period between asking the parents and asking the bride.

MrsMinor2b

Sept 22 2007

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Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 12:59 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

I am a 40something bride.  I told my husband that he had to ask my parents permission to marry me, before he could ask me.  It was more out of respect for my parents (and yes I have those old fashion values).  But my parents new right away why he was there without me. 

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Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 1:03 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

one more thing, there is no time period.

my brother asked my sister in law to marry him first w/out asking her parents.  WE made him ask his FIL before they made the announcement to her family.

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Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 1:33 PM Go to message in response to: Guest

My FH did ask both my mom and dad (they are divorced) for their blessings...We live several states away from both of them so he called my dad first, which wasn't a good experience (he actually hung up on FH!!!!), then he called my  mom right after that and asked her.  I had no idea that he was calling either of them, but when he told me, I was so mad at my dad for hanging up on him!!  Anyway they both eventually said it was ok with them...But FH didn't propose until like 6 months later.  so there is no time limit or anything, every situation will be different.

 

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MsDenuninani Posts : 3,963 Registered: 3/16/07
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 1:53 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

There's no requirement or anything, but I think most fathers really like to be asked.  It's just a nice thing to do when you're marrying into a family.

As for time restrictions. . .well let me just share  a story.  I have a friend whose now-husband asked for her hand and then waited 6 months to actually propose.  For this family, having believed that the proposal was going to happen sooner than that, was a bit on edge.  I'm sure they were all wondering "did he change his mind"?  When my fiance asked, he told my Dad the approximate time he planned on asking, which I think was a good way of handling it. 


------------------------------------------------------------

"I love being married.  It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life." Quote by Rita Rudner

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Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 1:56 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

My FH asked my dad and stepmom for their permission and then asked me to marry him that same night.  He would have asked them the day before, but he wussed out and had to go back the next night.  The whole story is pretty funny.
 

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pl8grl7298 Posts : 33 Registered: 3/15/07
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 5:51 PM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

My FH and I have been together for 7 years.  So he did talk to my dad about proposing but it was more to just tell my dad his intentions and get his blessing.  It was kind of funny cause my dad and mom said "well its about time!" LOL!!!

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Travsgirl4ever Posts : 206 Registered: 10/22/06
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 4, 2007 7:21 PM Go to message in response to: pl8grl7298

My FH asked my dad the evening before! And here I thought they were discussing hunting and didn't think anything of it... Lol! My FH knew he needed to ask out of respect to my dad, and with both of our families that's just what the man does before he asks the girl to marry him. But, I also know that every family is different... but I was very pleased he asked my dad first!

Can't wait to marry my handsome cowboy!  Kiss

6/30/07

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Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 7, 2007 8:54 AM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

I agree that it depends on the family.  I don't speak to my dad so my fh would have asked my mom for her blessings. However, we were in France at the time and fh couldn't get her phone number out of me and called without me knowing so he didn't do it.  I think my mom was a little upset by it and said we should have asked my grandfather or something, but what is done is done, and everyone is happy now anyways!



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MisOctober Posts : 167 Registered: 5/2/07
Re: Need to ask Father-in-law to be for permission??
Posted: May 7, 2007 9:32 AM Go to message in response to: MisOctober

Thank you everyone who responded!! You've really helped me out!

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